You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: classy

  • YSaC, Vol. 1758: Like whining for chocolate

    Since Mackenzie sent our first two posts this week, let’s go for a trifecta: (That’s Latin for “three fectas”!)

    Searching For A Job Needing Help Without A Boss That…… (All Over)

    IM LOOKING FOR A JOB THAT IS IN NEED OF HELP. BUT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR WORK THAT HAS A BOSS WHO IS A TOTAL JACK-ASS HIPACRITE!!!!!!! A BOSS WHO ISNT A WHINER, CRY-BABY, OR A PUSSY BOSS, WHO QUIET FRANKLY ACTS LIKE A LITTLE BITCH, OR NEEDS AND WANTS MORE THAN A KID WANTING CHOCOLATE. IF YOU ARE A BOSS THAT FITS THIS SUBJECT THEN DO NOT REPLY. I DO TALK ON THE PHONE, TEXT, AND SMOKE. BUT I GET MY WORK AND TASKS DONE.

    This person meets ALMOST all of the criteria I have for a potential employee:

    • They smoke.
    • They text and talk on the phone while on the job.
    • They have no idea how to turn off caps lock…
    • …or when to stop using exclamation points.
    • They can’t spell “Hypocrite.”

    That pretty much summarizes my ideal employee right there. Sadly, I also need someone who lives in (everywhere) rather than (All Over), so I guess I’ll be looking elsewhere.

    Thanks for the week, Mackenzie! Next week, you can drive the YSaC backhoe if you like!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1746: Hey Jack Kerouac …

    You know what’s always sounded like fun? Loading up everything I own into a motorhome and taking off. Just hitting the Eisenhower highway system, going wherever I want to go, with all the comforts of home right there behind me. These modern motorhomes are just amazing — they’re super efficient with space, and some of the newer ones are downright luxurious.

    The one thing I’d be afraid of is that in windy conditions, they’re pretty much a giant rolling billboard getting blown around on the road. All that surface area just catching the wind — it’s got to be pretty hard to keep it going in a straight line.

    So imagine my excitement about this:

    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 1742: Two out of seven’s not bad.

    [Warning: if you are easily offended, you’re on the wrong website AND you might not want to read the post below.]

    Free frig

    I’m giving my frig away. It’s really the only frig I’ve ever given. If you’d like to frig, its free to pick up, outside of [location]. Please, come get it, its the only frig I have

    I’m not really looking for a frig right now. I’ve been looking for a damn for a while, but nobody ever seems to have those to give away. Or a shit. I’d settle for a crap, but even those don’t get given very often. There’s lots of fucks out there though, and unlike shits and craps, nobody ever seems to take those.

    I’ll show myself to the corner.

    Thanks, Ralph!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1730: They’re both named Gordon.

    2 Snow cap Geicos with all accesories and cage

    Well, here we go again!. My 6 year old has decided to stop playing and holding her geico’s. We have had them for a couple years and they are both great. You can hold both of them with no issues. One of the geicos needs to be hand fed with tweezers. He a little dumb! LOL The other is a great feeder and hunter and no issues. They both eat crickets. WE buy 24 of the every couple weeks for like $3.50. Other than that very easy to care for.

    You’ll get cage and everything in it and any criskets we have left.

    Small rehoming fee of $20.00 for everything.

    You know these kids these days. You give them a couple of large international insurance companies, and they lose interest after a while and stop playing with them and feeding them. At least this time it’s just these Geicos; last time I had to figure out what to do with two Aflacs. Nobody would take those — something about their voices being really annoying.

    Thanks, Ralph!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1656: Which witch is winch?

    2011 jeep grand Cherokee 4wd – $9000

    I have a 4wd Jeep Cherokee. Its is dully loaded and has a which attached to front ranch hand bumper and grill gaurd. It is on a 4 in suspension lift and a 6 inch body lift has 35 mud grip tires(1200) witch has only been on it for two months. The truck only has 48,000 miles on it. i am looking to trade it but I looking for certain things only. I don’t need it but its paid for so O don’t have to sell it. Now here is what I am looking for. A lady( preferable married to how wants the jeep) she mist be 18 to 50 and fit. I give you the jeep and you leave your wife with me for a week. When you come pick her up she have the signed title to the jeep. So if interested send me several photo of the wife and I get right back to you. The photo need to be nude after all she will be for a week.

    Hi all! It’s drmk here. You may have noticed that Dan’s been writing most of the posts recently. That’s because I’ve been … er, away. I’m back now, though.

    Hey, do you like our new Jeep?

    Thanks, Chance!

  • YSaC, Vol. 475: No pants, no service.

    Gas station – m4w

    I should of came over and got your phone number. How about giving me another try? Could u tell me what gas station we where at 2 let me know it’s u?

    Hey, it’s me! Remember me? I was the guy with the car at the gas station. I was at the one pump, and you were at another one. Remember? I knew you would. I was wearing that shirt, and shoes. Oh yeah, and pants. Name’s Billy. I can’t wait to hear from you.

    And regular readers might recall the saga of 37, who appears to post creepy missed connection/stalkerish things about every woman he encounters during his day. Liz is kind enough to send us another episode:

    girl at Fatz – m4w – 37

    x/xx/09 i went to Fatz to eat lunch at 12:00.the host that seated me.sorry didn’t get you name or # or anything.she was very pretty and sexy and nice.really would like to get to know you more.next time you should take a break and join me.we made eye contact several times.she had on black shirt and pants.she had med lenght blondish brown hair.hope the girl see this.if you are the girltell me what i said to you or what i look like.far as that goes Fatz has all pretty and sexy women working there.if any of the girls works at Fatz see this and interested.please let me know.i’m just looking for a good girl.

    I want to meet this one girl specifically. Or any of the other girls there. Hope the girl see this. Or any girl. Any girl at all.

    Thanks for the submissions, April and Liz!