You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 1645: Something’s fishy.

Written by

drmk

in

Porcelain Fish Tank

Porcelain Fish Tank – bird motif w/base with gold fishes painted inside

Tank: 11-1/2″H x 14″OD x 11-1/4″ID
Base: 10-1/2″ OD x 2-1/2″H

EXCELLENT HOUSE WARMING GIFT

Fish tank. A porcelain fish tank. Let’s assume that it was the presence of decorative fish that led them to the conclusion that this was a fish tank. Why, then, would you not decide that it was a bird cage? After all, there are birds painted on the outside, so clearly it’s got something to do with bird containment. Although if the birds are on the outside, and the fish are on the inside … oh, I see.

I mean, sure … you could keep a fish in there, I suppose, if you have a serious vendetta against the fish. The poor thing is just going to think that the goldfish painted on the inside are constantly chasing it.

True story: years ago, Dan and I were in a large superstore and walked by the wall of fish tanks (um, real ones) to get to the grocery area. We passed a small group of sorority girls (I’m not stereotyping — they were wearing letters), one of whom loudly proclaimed (in the classic sorority girl/Valley Girl/Cordelia voice), “Oh my god, you guys, fish are soo creepy!”, to which the other girls immediately and emphatically agreed.

So there you have it. This would be the perfect housewarming gift if you (a) don’t like fish and/or (b) don’t like the person you’re giving it to.

Comments

23 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 1645: Something’s fishy.”

  1. TC Avatar
    TC

    I don’t know, it looks kind of small. In order to warm your house with it, you’d have to heat it so much that it’d probably kill the fish.

    1. ghostcat Avatar
      ghostcat

      It would make for a classier burn-barrel than the standard discarded oil drum.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        How cold is it today, ghostie? That quilt square looks warm enough, but you might want to put a tiny fire in the bowl there.

        1. ghostcat Avatar
          ghostcat

          You’d think by now I’d be able to remember how to spell my own email address, but you would be wrong.

  2. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    [Corey] The Chinese used to use bowls like this for short-term display of their prized goldfish. For long-term care, goldfish require huge amounts of water per fish. [/Corey]

  3. Dia Avatar
    Dia

    Er, not so much a poster fail as a YSAC fail. That is indeed a traditional Chinese fish bowl…even if used usually for decoration sans fish. Although, it does seem fishy that someone is trying to pass it off as a housewarming gift…perhaps that is how they got it in the first place?

    1. Demon Duck of Doom Avatar
      Demon Duck of Doom

      Much as I hate to Corey the snark, I have to agree here. “Tank” may be something of a misnomer, but here in Hawaii it is common to see one of these urn-type-thingies with a water plant and several small fish (like guppies or tetras) in it, sitting on someone’s lanai.

      When polled on their feelings about porcelain, only one in 20 fish complained about not having to stare at their captors all day, saying “If God had meant us to be in the dark, He wouldn’t have created glass ponds.”

      1. Demon Duck of Doom Avatar
        Demon Duck of Doom

        http://hihort.blogspot.com/2012/09/container-water-gardens.html

      2. SilvaNoir Avatar
        SilvaNoir

        I have no problem with it being a container for the water plants… but I think it would be cruel to the fish. If you’re going to have a backyard pond, make it bigger than a porcelain bowl.

        Unless you’re trying to mentally prepare them for the day they’ll be flushed away to the fishie afterlife.

  4. meeshybee Avatar
    meeshybee

    So… Not.A.Fish.Tank.

    I see no gold fishes at all, just those googly-eyed goldfish. Fish so disturbing to look at that even their evil mad scientist creators didn’t want to see them. It’s like the Emperor’s New Fish.

    Emperor’s Scientist 1: “Is he looking at me?”

    Emperor’s Scientist 2: “I… I can’t tell. Maybe one eye is…”

    Emperor’s Scientist 1: “He’s too off-putting. Just… just stick him in that ornately decorated and conveniently left out bowl over there.”

    Boss Guy: “Do you have the Emperor’s wonderful new fish ready yet?”

    Scientist #1: “Er… Well, actually-”

    Boss Guy: “Ah, here it is. Oh! Well, it’s definitely unique.”

    Scientist #1: “…Yes. Yes it is.”

  5. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    I don’t think that is a tank. It looks more like a bowl to me. Considering the set up, I would guess that you cook the fish before putting it in the bowl. It also looks like it could double as a serving bowl for some nice bird nest soup.

  6. Irregular Fractal Avatar
    Irregular Fractal

    All you people talking about the Chinese are covering the dark, disturbing truth about this item. It’s clearly a Phantom Zone fish tank. You let those suckers out and it’s going to be all KNEEL BEFORE BUBBLES up in here.

  7. Ralph Avatar
    Ralph

    If I hadn’t been told it is a fish bowel, I would have assumed it is a spittoon. The fish would have been annoyed.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Some fish can spit back, too.

    2. nojazzhere Avatar
      nojazzhere

      …er…wait…it’s not a spittoon????…uh,.can you, uh….(grabs a handful of paper towels)….go on…I’ll catch up in a sec….

  8. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    This tank does not come with a 1000 rounds of snail ammo. It’s useless.

    1. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
      MissMommyNiceNice

      But will it hold my microfish?

  9. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
    MissMommyNiceNice

    Tits aside, this would make a nice home for my beta fish if the cat wouldn’t Lady & the Tramp it.

  10. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Place your bets, snarkers! Will there be a post tomorrow? I’m offering 2 to 1 odds against. 8)

    1. ghostcat Avatar
      ghostcat

      Oooh, I’ll take some of that action!

      :digs through purse:

      I have twelve cents, a Sharpie, and a linty gummy bear. Pineapple-flavored, I think.

    2. nojazzhere Avatar
      nojazzhere

      Me too, Ghostie!!! I gots a virus infested computer I’ll put up….the tech guy said something about finding 16 Trojans…..at least we’ve been using protection…hopefully ribbed for her pleasure. (is the gummy bear alcohol infused??…um..yummy!) Happy New Year to all!!! Will the lounge be open tomorrow for “morning’s afters?”

  11. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    Well, I jutht travelled through Athol yethterday, tho I gueth I’m not thumone’s favorite turd. However, if you would like thum coffee, I have thum of the finetht beanth to ever travel through a :…

    1. Meg Avatar
      Meg

      Sorry about dropping you in the porcelain tank yesterday BF, butt did you find my fishies?

Leave a Reply

More posts