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YSaC, Vol. 230: Let my Cameron goooooo ….

Written by

drmk

in

need to barrow a ferrari for date

dont have too much to barter. i can fix things around your house or make a kick ass meatloaf. just need the ferrai for one night. promise i will try not to get oral sex in it.

thanks

Heather sends this in, saying, “They post it in “barter,” yet they admit they have nothing to barter. Oh, and how exactly does one “barrow” a Ferrari? It seems that “barrowing” carries a high chance of oral sex. Hm…”

The wording of the “promise” is amusing, also. Notice that it’s not, “Promise I will not try to get oral sex in it,” it’s “promise I will try NOT to get oral sex in it.”

In other words, there’s going to be so many people offering him oral sex that he will have to try really hard to avoid them all.

This just has “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” written all over it. (Minus Cameron, which is too bad. Cameron is the heart of that movie. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s about Ferris, but Cameron is the only one who grows as a person and learns anything about himself over the course of the day. Plus it’s Alan Ruck, and he’s just cool.)

Anyway, for those of you with Ferraris, this young man with nothing to offer you but breaded meat would like to barrow your car, probably take it for a joyride, and try not to get oral sex in it. What could possibly go wrong with this plan?

Comments

64 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 230: Let my Cameron goooooo ….”

  1. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    Actually, I think the *cost* for “barrowing” a Ferrari when you have nothing to barter is…..
    Ok, ok, I’ll keep it clean. Seriously, a few months ago I asked in the wanted section if anyone had an extra Dryel bag lying around and got zero replies. You know someone who read that did and just didn’t feel like replying. Who on Earth, if the world is not kind enough to recycle a Dryel bag, would say “Here ya go buddy, try not to grind the gears! Have a great time and I’ll see you in the morning – wait, what was your name again?”

  2. PrincessLuceval Avatar
    PrincessLuceval

    Does he actually have a date? Or is he going to get one when he “barrows” the car?

    And ” i will try not to get oral sex in it” sounds so filthy already, as if he’s going to try not to get spooge all over it. Remember to bring the Clorox wipes!

  3. Sam Avatar
    Sam

    This guy…this guy knows how to bring them in.
    “Hey like my ferrari? I traded it for meatloaf” And..you know what…that might work better than the jobless guy…although ….might even be the same person I don’t know.

  4. gas station bathroom Avatar
    gas station bathroom

    He seems like a reasonable young man. Why wouldn’t you let this guy borrow your nice car?

  5. Count Snarkula Avatar
    Count Snarkula

    Isn’t getting oral sex the whole point of driving a Ferrari?

  6. Callisto Avatar
    Callisto

    Personally I got stuck on “or make a kick ass meatloaf”. The absence of a hyphen allows my imagination to do all sorts of scary things. Such as inserting one myself… “or make a kick ass-meat loaf”. A loaf of ass-meat that he kicked around. Nice.

    1. CapnMac Avatar
      CapnMac

      Burro is largely (if never by first-hand account) held to be tough and stringy meat. So, kicking it could be a form of tenderizing.

      Mules are known for their kicking ability, hence the old saying.

      But, what if Sparkie is in fact female, and is therefore advertizing that she has the correct equipment for producing a now-knighted rock star?

  7. Monica Hamburg Avatar
    Monica Hamburg

    That’s fantastic! Now I know I can trade that box of Kraft Dinner for a summer home!

  8. The Hearn Avatar
    The Hearn

    “Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s about Ferris, but Cameron is the only one who grows as a person and learns anything about himself over the course of the day.”

    In fact, the movie IS about Cameron; Ferris is just the distracting focus. He’s almost the antagonist that brings out the best in Cameron, although the presence of Principal Rooney complicates things.

  9. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    The Hearn: Exactly.

  10. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    If you have a barrow, you don’t really need a Ferrari to get around. Sure, a barrow might not be as sexy as a Ferrari, but it sure is practical.

  11. bonni Avatar
    bonni

    Someone needs to put up a “Wanted: one realllly amazing meatloaf. Will trade exotic car for” post in a week and see what happens.

    1. Jim Avatar
      Jim

      LMOA! awesome!

      1. Dete Avatar
        Dete

        LMOA?

        …. Laugh my orifice away?

  12. Mel Avatar
    Mel

    So he’s been trying to pick up chicks by bragging about his kickass car (which they can’t see, because it’s too kickass to drive every day), and now that some fool has taken him up on his promise of a ride in his hidden Ferrari, he needs to… borrow a complete stranger’s Ferrari so that he doesn’t look like a tool.

    Except I think it’s a bit late for that last bit.

  13. aoeu Avatar
    aoeu

    I knew I’d seen this. Suggested tag

    French Potential

  14. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Welcome from the future, Snarkers! I’d love to hang around, but I have to take my Masarati to the shop today.

    1. Irregular Fractal Avatar
      Irregular Fractal

      Didn’t he play for the Pittsburgh Pirates back in the 50s?

      1. Smedley Avatar
        Smedley

        Yes, back when their batting average pretty much echoed their BAC at gametime.

        1. christina Avatar
          christina

          And the tobacco spit flowed freely.
          Really though, they just replaced the BAC with doping stats, the only difference is that beer muscles are less visible to the naked eye.

    2. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      Good idea, Windrose.

      My DeLorean has been sounding a little rough lately. Maybe a trip to the shop can find that noise. It sounds almost like it’s speaking Libyan, but that’s probably just my imagination.

      1. Irregular Fractal Avatar
        Irregular Fractal

        I found a flipper in the Mr. Fusion. Anyone know how that got there?

        1. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          It’s a TRAP!

        2. LimeLolly Avatar
          LimeLolly

          Actually … I want to know what kind of flipper. Animal, vegetable or mineral?

  15. Smedley Avatar
    Smedley

    I make my meatloaf with crushed Stovetop Stuffing, which actually helped get me some together time in a rusty Bronco II.
    Meatloaf that’s worth a Ferrari? I want to see that recipe.

    1. christina Avatar
      christina

      I doubt Meatloaf was ever worth a Ferrari, not even in his Bat Out of Hell heyday.

      1. Addicted Reader Avatar
        Addicted Reader

        There’s a “paradise by the dashboard light” joke in there somewhere…

        1. Irregular Fractal Avatar
          Irregular Fractal

          Well, this whole post has a pretty serious undertone of, “I would do anything for love (But I won’t do that).”

        2. CapnMac Avatar
          CapnMac

          Would that not be “a pair of (fuzzy) dice by the dashboard light”?

    2. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      I make a kick-ass meatloaf. Not Ferrari, more Lexus worthy. The secret is mustard and rice.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        I demand you post the recipe in the forum! 8) Please?

        1. LimeLolly Avatar
          LimeLolly

          I’m getting the “fatal error” in the fora, as well. I can post it here, or send it to you via the other social network. 🙂

        2. CapnMac Avatar
          CapnMac

          Forum remains broken for me <boohoo>

        3. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          Okay, we shall have to rely on YouTwitFace for conveyance. Proceed.

  16. christina Avatar
    christina

    I take back what I said yesterday about feeling strange commenting on the classics. I’ve decided to think of this more as recycling. Like we took the old post that only had print on one side and stuck it back in the printer to use the back. YSaC: Green living on the internet.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      We can make it better, we can make it faster. We have the technology.

    2. LaKitta Avatar
      LaKitta

      I like the time travel. It’s like the Llamanun and Ostrimu (*BBUT) took a look at all the scifi fans amongst their own fan base and gave us a Tardis for Beesmas. It does seem to be about as reliable as floo powder, though; a lot of commentators seem to have ended up lost in a YSAC alley somewhere.

      1. Laurelhach Avatar
        Laurelhach

        *wipes soot off clothes*

        *cough cough*

        Sorry, I’m here, I’m here! Nocturne Alley sure is hectic this time of year.

        1. LimeLolly Avatar
          LimeLolly

          Guess what I got for Christmas… a week early… the entire HP book set. Unfortunately, this means I won’t have time to finish my Christmas shopping. I’ll be too busy reading. I don’t know what I’m going to read the next week.

        2. Addicted Reader Avatar
          Addicted Reader

          Read it again!

          Seriously, I have to stop myself from reading through the series more than once a year. After seeing the latest movie, I immediately picked up the book to see what had been left out, intending to only read to the point where the movie stopped. I’m sure you can guess how well that went. Then I went and read the 1st one, because I didn’t have anything new around to read. I’ve since gone to the library, but CoS is calling me. I feel that I should resist, though, because I just read through the whole series in June. Again, it was because I was overdue to go to the library for new books.

        3. Moira Avatar
          Moira

          I WAS going back to the HP books frequently but I now have a leeeetle too much new & “new” stuff on the Kindle and it’s keeping me distracted. BTW, Dr. Frankenstien was a complete tool… and chickenshit to boot. 20,000 Leagues under the Seas was better but the catalogues of marine life did get tiresome before the end. Now, I am mixing it up with a little Kim Harrison. The Dresden Files are too damned expensive on the Kindle – I refuse to buy them.

        4. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          LaKitta, part of the problem is that the linky-poo was poopy-poo for a while. I did a crude work-around until someone with greater geekness came to the rescue. 8)

  17. Addicted Reader Avatar
    Addicted Reader

    The wording of the promise is really too weird. Like this guy is confident that whether or not he gets oral sex will be *his* choice.

    I’d like to believe that no one would fall for what this Sparky is trying to pull, but my faith in humanity has long since been crushed by reading the ads here at YSaC.

    1. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      Aw… it’s almost Beesmas… don’t let your hope be crushed just yet.

      Wait until the new year.

      1. LurkRealClose Avatar
        LurkRealClose

        Besides, the Llamanun (BBUH) is making a list and checking it twice, so you’d better have hope for goodness sakes.

        Or something like that. Hark! I see three ships with silver bells.

  18. christina Avatar
    christina

    I’m glad to see the don’t suck box still being updated. One question, does it have to be a current comment or can the vintage comments be taken into consideration?

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      I think it’s only new comments. mostly the vintage commentors aren’t around any more, for the most part. At least, that’s my theory. *whistles innocently*

      1. christina Avatar
        christina

        Uh huh. Spill it, which of these quilts is the former incarnation of Windrose?

        1. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          No, I’ve always posted as Windrose. I just, uh, believe I can think this through. *think, think, think, think*

        2. Moira Avatar
          Moira

          I’ve always posted with the same email address so my vintage comments are visibly mine.

  19. Addicted Reader Avatar
    Addicted Reader

    Error log: 1447EST FF, OSX
    “Internal Error” dialog box when trying to give an adore.
    “502 Error” when reloading.
    Cleared recent history, site came back.

    1. CoffDrop Avatar
      CoffDrop

      Engineer’s Log – Stardate 44812.6: Navigating through IT – While Troi tries to get through to him, Geordi and Data try to restart the Brittain’s engines. Although everything’s working fine, …

    2. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      The freaky thing for me… I apparently am having unlimited adores. Everytime I reopen my browser, I get to vote for a new door. I pick door number 6 this time.

      1. christina Avatar
        christina

        I’ve had the same issue for about a week. I thought it was my browser.
        PS: Don’t take door #6. That’s the steak of the month membership and it’s been here since the post went up in March of 09.

        1. LimeLolly Avatar
          LimeLolly

          Oooh, thanks for the heads up, christina. Hmm…. wonder where you find the expiration date on the rest of these.

  20. christina Avatar
    christina

    Interesting thought though, I wonder how many doors will break the counter? We would need to find a classic that already has a high number of doors and a lot of volunteers with the same capabilities. The nerd part of me would like to think that rather than resetting, something cool and glitchy would happen, like the little symbols that you got after earning 100+ lives in Super Mario Bros.

    1. Addicted Reader Avatar
      Addicted Reader

      Every time I have to reset the cache, my ability to give doors is reset. So I could try that, but it seems like cheating, somehow.

      1. LimeLolly Avatar
        LimeLolly

        Yeah, I stopped after the second time… It was like deja vue… “I KNOW I’ve already clicked this”.

        But still I wonder… just how many clicks does it take to get to the center of YSaC?

        1. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          It’s not cheating if we lay down guidelines and all target the same post. Ahem. I have a comment on the Not.A.Lion post that was up to 40 or so doors. I would be willing to be the test subject. 8)

        2. CoffDrop Avatar
          CoffDrop

          Well, you brought it up:

          DOORS by Tristram J. Garong

          To close and open at your will,
          I shut to keep your secrets still
          Come and know me, I implore,
          I, sir, am your humble door.

          Through day and night I stand on guard
          against all those with evil hearts.
          To you I bring security,
          that in the night, you might sleep tightly.

          A warning master, hear me out,
          that when you leave or wal about,
          never forget to lock me,
          and always keep my heart, the key.
          This way I can do my best,
          against all dreaded threats and tests.
          for carelessness is like a leech.
          Do this master, I beseech.

          You may not see it well, master,
          but I am a thing of wonder.
          I may just be a humble door,
          yet I serve with great ardor.
          Master look around and see,
          on how grateful you should be
          and imagine all the horrors,
          of a world without doors

          Infinite doors to all………

  21. christina Avatar
    christina

    This is going to be a nesting fail, but I say let’s do it. We’ll click Windrose’s comment until we break the doors down.

    1. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      I clicked for 50… mwahahaha.

    2. Irregular Fractal Avatar
      Irregular Fractal

      I kind of thought that Morrison’s death already did that.

  22. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Having too much fun, but gotta call it a night. LimeLolly, don’t be sheepish, here’s your Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Chicago!

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