YSaC, Vol. 230: Let my Cameron goooooo ….

2009 March 5

need to barrow a ferrari for date


dont have too much to barter. i can fix things around your house or make a kick ass meatloaf. just need the ferrai for one night. promise i will try not to get oral sex in it.

thanks

Heather sends this in, saying, “They post it in “barter,” yet they admit they have nothing to barter. Oh, and how exactly does one “barrow” a Ferrari? It seems that “barrowing” carries a high chance of oral sex. Hm…”

The wording of the “promise” is amusing, also. Notice that it’s not, “Promise I will not try to get oral sex in it,” it’s “promise I will try NOT to get oral sex in it.”

In other words, there’s going to be so many people offering him oral sex that he will have to try really hard to avoid them all.

This just has “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” written all over it. (Minus Cameron, which is too bad. Cameron is the heart of that movie. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s about Ferris, but Cameron is the only one who grows as a person and learns anything about himself over the course of the day. Plus it’s Alan Ruck, and he’s just cool.)

Anyway, for those of you with Ferraris, this young man with nothing to offer you but breaded meat would like to barrow your car, probably take it for a joyride, and try not to get oral sex in it. What could possibly go wrong with this plan?

64 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 March 5
    Courtney permalink

    Actually, I think the *cost* for “barrowing” a Ferrari when you have nothing to barter is…..
    Ok, ok, I’ll keep it clean. Seriously, a few months ago I asked in the wanted section if anyone had an extra Dryel bag lying around and got zero replies. You know someone who read that did and just didn’t feel like replying. Who on Earth, if the world is not kind enough to recycle a Dryel bag, would say “Here ya go buddy, try not to grind the gears! Have a great time and I’ll see you in the morning – wait, what was your name again?”

    Adores: 5
  2. 2009 March 5
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    Does he actually have a date? Or is he going to get one when he “barrows” the car?

    And ” i will try not to get oral sex in it” sounds so filthy already, as if he’s going to try not to get spooge all over it. Remember to bring the Clorox wipes!

    Adores: 2
  3. 2009 March 5
    Sam permalink

    This guy…this guy knows how to bring them in.
    “Hey like my ferrari? I traded it for meatloaf” And..you know what…that might work better than the jobless guy…although ….might even be the same person I don’t know.

    Adores: 2
  4. 2009 March 5
    gas station bathroom permalink

    He seems like a reasonable young man. Why wouldn’t you let this guy borrow your nice car?

    Adores: 3
  5. 2009 March 5
    Count Snarkula permalink

    Isn’t getting oral sex the whole point of driving a Ferrari?

    Adores: 9
  6. 2009 March 5

    Personally I got stuck on “or make a kick ass meatloaf”. The absence of a hyphen allows my imagination to do all sorts of scary things. Such as inserting one myself… “or make a kick ass-meat loaf”. A loaf of ass-meat that he kicked around. Nice.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 December 19
      CapnMac permalink

      Burro is largely (if never by first-hand account) held to be tough and stringy meat. So, kicking it could be a form of tenderizing.

      Mules are known for their kicking ability, hence the old saying.

      But, what if Sparkie is in fact female, and is therefore advertizing that she has the correct equipment for producing a now-knighted rock star?

      Adores: 2
  7. 2009 March 6

    That’s fantastic! Now I know I can trade that box of Kraft Dinner for a summer home!

    Adores: 9
  8. 2009 March 6

    “Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s about Ferris, but Cameron is the only one who grows as a person and learns anything about himself over the course of the day.”

    In fact, the movie IS about Cameron; Ferris is just the distracting focus. He’s almost the antagonist that brings out the best in Cameron, although the presence of Principal Rooney complicates things.

    Adores: 7
  9. 2009 March 6
    drmk permalink

    The Hearn: Exactly.

    Adores: 2
  10. 2009 March 6
    dogface permalink

    If you have a barrow, you don’t really need a Ferrari to get around. Sure, a barrow might not be as sexy as a Ferrari, but it sure is practical.

    Adores: 5
  11. 2009 March 8
    bonni permalink

    Someone needs to put up a “Wanted: one realllly amazing meatloaf. Will trade exotic car for” post in a week and see what happens.

    Adores: 8
  12. 2009 July 16
    Mel permalink

    So he’s been trying to pick up chicks by bragging about his kickass car (which they can’t see, because it’s too kickass to drive every day), and now that some fool has taken him up on his promise of a ride in his hidden Ferrari, he needs to… borrow a complete stranger’s Ferrari so that he doesn’t look like a tool.

    Except I think it’s a bit late for that last bit.

    Adores: 6
  13. 2010 March 2
    aoeu permalink

    I knew I’d seen this. Suggested tag

    French Potential

    Adores: 4
  14. 2010 December 19
    Windrose permalink

    Welcome from the future, Snarkers! I’d love to hang around, but I have to take my Masarati to the shop today.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 December 19
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Didn’t he play for the Pittsburgh Pirates back in the 50s?

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 December 19

        Yes, back when their batting average pretty much echoed their BAC at gametime.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 19

          And the tobacco spit flowed freely.
          Really though, they just replaced the BAC with doping stats, the only difference is that beer muscles are less visible to the naked eye.

          Adores: 7
    • 2010 December 19
      LimeLolly permalink

      Good idea, Windrose.

      My DeLorean has been sounding a little rough lately. Maybe a trip to the shop can find that noise. It sounds almost like it’s speaking Libyan, but that’s probably just my imagination.

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 December 19
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        I found a flipper in the Mr. Fusion. Anyone know how that got there?

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 December 19
          Windrose permalink

          It’s a TRAP!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          Actually … I want to know what kind of flipper. Animal, vegetable or mineral?

          Adores: 4
  15. 2010 December 19

    I make my meatloaf with crushed Stovetop Stuffing, which actually helped get me some together time in a rusty Bronco II.
    Meatloaf that’s worth a Ferrari? I want to see that recipe.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 December 19

      I doubt Meatloaf was ever worth a Ferrari, not even in his Bat Out of Hell heyday.

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 December 19
        Addicted Reader permalink

        There’s a “paradise by the dashboard light” joke in there somewhere…

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 19
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Well, this whole post has a pretty serious undertone of, “I would do anything for love (But I won’t do that).”

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 December 19
          CapnMac permalink

          Would that not be “a pair of (fuzzy) dice by the dashboard light”?

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 December 19
      LimeLolly permalink

      I make a kick-ass meatloaf. Not Ferrari, more Lexus worthy. The secret is mustard and rice.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 December 19
        Windrose permalink

        I demand you post the recipe in the forum! 8) Please?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          I’m getting the “fatal error” in the fora, as well. I can post it here, or send it to you via the other social network. 🙂

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 19
          CapnMac permalink

          Forum remains broken for me <boohoo>

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 20
          Windrose permalink

          Okay, we shall have to rely on YouTwitFace for conveyance. Proceed.

          Adores: 1
  16. 2010 December 19

    I take back what I said yesterday about feeling strange commenting on the classics. I’ve decided to think of this more as recycling. Like we took the old post that only had print on one side and stuck it back in the printer to use the back. YSaC: Green living on the internet.

    Adores: 15
    • 2010 December 19
      Windrose permalink

      We can make it better, we can make it faster. We have the technology.

      Adores: 8
    • 2010 December 19
      LaKitta permalink

      I like the time travel. It’s like the Llamanun and Ostrimu (*BBUT) took a look at all the scifi fans amongst their own fan base and gave us a Tardis for Beesmas. It does seem to be about as reliable as floo powder, though; a lot of commentators seem to have ended up lost in a YSAC alley somewhere.

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 December 19
        Laurelhach permalink

        *wipes soot off clothes*

        *cough cough*

        Sorry, I’m here, I’m here! Nocturne Alley sure is hectic this time of year.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          Guess what I got for Christmas… a week early… the entire HP book set. Unfortunately, this means I won’t have time to finish my Christmas shopping. I’ll be too busy reading. I don’t know what I’m going to read the next week.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 19
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Read it again!

          Seriously, I have to stop myself from reading through the series more than once a year. After seeing the latest movie, I immediately picked up the book to see what had been left out, intending to only read to the point where the movie stopped. I’m sure you can guess how well that went. Then I went and read the 1st one, because I didn’t have anything new around to read. I’ve since gone to the library, but CoS is calling me. I feel that I should resist, though, because I just read through the whole series in June. Again, it was because I was overdue to go to the library for new books.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 19
          Moira permalink

          I WAS going back to the HP books frequently but I now have a leeeetle too much new & “new” stuff on the Kindle and it’s keeping me distracted. BTW, Dr. Frankenstien was a complete tool… and chickenshit to boot. 20,000 Leagues under the Seas was better but the catalogues of marine life did get tiresome before the end. Now, I am mixing it up with a little Kim Harrison. The Dresden Files are too damned expensive on the Kindle – I refuse to buy them.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 20
          Windrose permalink

          LaKitta, part of the problem is that the linky-poo was poopy-poo for a while. I did a crude work-around until someone with greater geekness came to the rescue. 8)

          Adores: 2
  17. 2010 December 19
    Addicted Reader permalink

    The wording of the promise is really too weird. Like this guy is confident that whether or not he gets oral sex will be *his* choice.

    I’d like to believe that no one would fall for what this Sparky is trying to pull, but my faith in humanity has long since been crushed by reading the ads here at YSaC.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 December 19
      LimeLolly permalink

      Aw… it’s almost Beesmas… don’t let your hope be crushed just yet.

      Wait until the new year.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 December 20
        LurkRealClose permalink

        Besides, the Llamanun (BBUH) is making a list and checking it twice, so you’d better have hope for goodness sakes.

        Or something like that. Hark! I see three ships with silver bells.

        Adores: 1
  18. 2010 December 19

    I’m glad to see the don’t suck box still being updated. One question, does it have to be a current comment or can the vintage comments be taken into consideration?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 December 19
      Windrose permalink

      I think it’s only new comments. mostly the vintage commentors aren’t around any more, for the most part. At least, that’s my theory. *whistles innocently*

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 19

        Uh huh. Spill it, which of these quilts is the former incarnation of Windrose?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 19
          Windrose permalink

          No, I’ve always posted as Windrose. I just, uh, believe I can think this through. *think, think, think, think*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 19
          Moira permalink

          I’ve always posted with the same email address so my vintage comments are visibly mine.

          Adores: 1
  19. 2010 December 19
    Addicted Reader permalink

    Error log: 1447EST FF, OSX
    “Internal Error” dialog box when trying to give an adore.
    “502 Error” when reloading.
    Cleared recent history, site came back.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 December 19
      CoffDrop permalink

      Engineer’s Log – Stardate 44812.6: Navigating through IT – While Troi tries to get through to him, Geordi and Data try to restart the Brittain’s engines. Although everything’s working fine, …

      Adores: 8
    • 2010 December 19
      LimeLolly permalink

      The freaky thing for me… I apparently am having unlimited adores. Everytime I reopen my browser, I get to vote for a new door. I pick door number 6 this time.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 December 19

        I’ve had the same issue for about a week. I thought it was my browser.
        PS: Don’t take door #6. That’s the steak of the month membership and it’s been here since the post went up in March of 09.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          Oooh, thanks for the heads up, christina. Hmm…. wonder where you find the expiration date on the rest of these.

          Adores: 1
  20. 2010 December 19

    Interesting thought though, I wonder how many doors will break the counter? We would need to find a classic that already has a high number of doors and a lot of volunteers with the same capabilities. The nerd part of me would like to think that rather than resetting, something cool and glitchy would happen, like the little symbols that you got after earning 100+ lives in Super Mario Bros.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 December 19
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Every time I have to reset the cache, my ability to give doors is reset. So I could try that, but it seems like cheating, somehow.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 19
        LimeLolly permalink

        Yeah, I stopped after the second time… It was like deja vue… “I KNOW I’ve already clicked this”.

        But still I wonder… just how many clicks does it take to get to the center of YSaC?

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 19
          Windrose permalink

          It’s not cheating if we lay down guidelines and all target the same post. Ahem. I have a comment on the Not.A.Lion post that was up to 40 or so doors. I would be willing to be the test subject. 8)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 19
          CoffDrop permalink

          Well, you brought it up:

          DOORS by Tristram J. Garong

          To close and open at your will,
          I shut to keep your secrets still
          Come and know me, I implore,
          I, sir, am your humble door.

          Through day and night I stand on guard
          against all those with evil hearts.
          To you I bring security,
          that in the night, you might sleep tightly.

          A warning master, hear me out,
          that when you leave or wal about,
          never forget to lock me,
          and always keep my heart, the key.
          This way I can do my best,
          against all dreaded threats and tests.
          for carelessness is like a leech.
          Do this master, I beseech.

          You may not see it well, master,
          but I am a thing of wonder.
          I may just be a humble door,
          yet I serve with great ardor.
          Master look around and see,
          on how grateful you should be
          and imagine all the horrors,
          of a world without doors

          Infinite doors to all………

          Adores: 4
  21. 2010 December 19

    This is going to be a nesting fail, but I say let’s do it. We’ll click Windrose’s comment until we break the doors down.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 December 19
      LimeLolly permalink

      I clicked for 50… mwahahaha.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 December 19
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      I kind of thought that Morrison’s death already did that.

      Adores: 3
  22. 2010 December 20
    Windrose permalink

    Having too much fun, but gotta call it a night. LimeLolly, don’t be sheepish, here’s your Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Chicago!

    Adores: 1

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