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YSaC, Vol. 423: The dishwasher hates children, though.

Written by

drmk

in

ONE OF A KIND WHITE FRIDGE TOP AND BOTTOM ONLY – $250

THIS REFRGERATOR IS EMMACUANT AND VERY FAMILY FRIENDLY. THIS FRIDGE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME. I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS ALL HOUGH THE BEST THING ABOUT IT IS THAT IF YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THE FRIDGE PART WITHIN 10-15 MINUTES ITS COLD. I HATE TO GIVE IT UP BUT I AM MOVING AND NEW PLACE ALREADY HAS FRIDGE. IF INTERESTED PLEASE EMAIL AT
STEPHEYxxxx@YAHOO.COM

HAVE TO PICK UP

423

Tonya sends in this ad, saying, “Okay … first of all it’s “one of a kind” — umm … it’s a fridge. I don’t have to go into the all caps section of our program, but I do have to mention this line: ‘ALL HOUGH THE BEST THING ABOUT IT IS THAT IF YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THE FRIDGE PART WITHIN 10-15 MINUTES ITS COLD.’ In a fridge!? NO WAY! That’s just amazing.”

The thing that makes this fridge a one of a kind is clearly that you only get the top and bottom of it. There’s no middle to the fridge. Think about it: is there a middle of the fridge in that picture? See? Q.E.D., bitches.

I’ve known people to get oddly attached to some pretty strange things, but this person sounds a little too fond of her fridge. The fridge has been good to you? She’s one step away from insisting that it go to a good home and calling the sales price a rehoming fee and requesting visitation rights.

Thanks, Tonya!

Comments

37 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 423: The dishwasher hates children, though.”

  1. Cindy B. Avatar
    Cindy B.

    You could buy this fridge and the Taco Bell packets from a few weeks ago, put the packets in the fridge, and then have a weekly visitation for both of them at the same time. 🙂

  2. JcT Avatar
    JcT

    It is plainly obvious that we are talking about a fridge that is way too EMMACUANT for me. That’s too bad, because I have been searching for one without the middle part. Plus the fact that my current fridge attacks anyone in the family who walks by; this family friendly one is exactly what I needed.

    1. Linnee Avatar
      Linnee

      Clearly, JcT, it’s the middle part of your fridge that attacks family.

    2. My Evil Twin Avatar
      My Evil Twin

      See? That’s why I don’t want a family: I would hate to have to get rid of my fridge with the Spinning Blades of Death.

      1. Runcible Spoon Avatar
        Runcible Spoon

        I’ll take it. I’ve been looking for a companion to my Dishwasher of Doom.

        1. chris Avatar
          chris

          Thats so freaking funny…

  3. frigglesnitz Avatar
    frigglesnitz

    ALL HOUGH THE BEST THING ABOUT IT IS THAT IF YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THE FRIDGE PART WITHIN 10-15 MINUTES ITS COLD?

    Stephy, check it out, if you put something in the oven*, in 10-15 minutes it gets warmer.That’s a little tip from me to you.

    *Umm, Stephy, turn the oven on first; just sayin’.

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      Stephey: “See, that’s why the fridge is so amazing! You don’t have to do anything — it just makes things cold!”

  4. G Avatar
    G

    What is that “all hough” anyway? I honestly can’t figure it out in context.

    1. Monty Python Avatar
      Monty Python

      It’s “although”. Stephey is trying to show off his extensive vocabulary.

      1. G Avatar
        G

        Oh! Oh, of course. Thanks.

        1. manz Avatar
          manz

          It probably would have helped you to figure it out in context if she were using the correct context. Although is supposed to be used if you are stating something that goes against your last statement. In this case, she gives an example of why she likes it so much after saying she has no complaints, although… I was expecting something horrendous like, “although it has been leaking water all over my kitchen floor.”

      2. My Evil Twin Avatar
        My Evil Twin

        Actually, manz, we are assuming that she didn’t mean it just the way she wrote it: Maybe the best thing about it really IS that it makes things cold in 10-15 minutes (and therefore everything else about it is worse, ne)?

        1. wgoodey Avatar
          wgoodey

          your use of the particle ne makes me think you speak japanese, My Evil Twin.

      3. My Evil Twin Avatar
        My Evil Twin

        Well, due to extreme lack of studying and practice, I don’t speak Japanese very well; but yes, “ne” is from that. I assume from your comment that you understand Japanese, then, yes?

        1. wgoodey Avatar
          wgoodey

          yes, indeed i do. functionally, at least. i actually just came home from two years in japan. good experience.

  5. sumrtime Avatar
    sumrtime

    I wish my refrgerator was that emmacuant.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Now there’s a conception! God’s only Frigidaire ™.

      1. My Evil Twin Avatar
        My Evil Twin

        Maybe they can see the Virgin Mary in the shelving grills.

        1. frigglesnitz Avatar
          frigglesnitz

          I know where one might be able to get a wall hanging to match the shelving that also will let the user know the strength of the WiFi available…

  6. frozen_midwest Avatar
    frozen_midwest

    Awww, how sweet. She’s so thoughtful, she even tells you what to call the fridge (’emma cuant’) so it’ll feel welcome in it’s new home. What a nice gesture!

  7. MoxieHart Avatar
    MoxieHart

    The fridge is a top and a bottom? I didn’t know fridges could be into S&M.

    1. Igor The Vigorous Avatar
      Igor The Vigorous

      Then you thought wrong.
      One man
      One fridge
      One incredible love story…
      Against all odds, and despite their racist families, these two come together in a classic love story for the ages.

      1. MoxieHart Avatar
        MoxieHart

        The fridge’s owner is clearly racist. Look how they point out that the fridge is white, as if that makes it better than all the olivey-green, stainless steel, and black fridges.

  8. Pug Avatar
    Pug

    Whoa Ive been looking for a family friendly fridge. Everytime I open my current fridge it says ” close the door fatty”!

  9. KatieMB Avatar
    KatieMB

    A “family friendly” fridge? What the heck does that mean? Does it play board games, drop the kids off at soccer practice, set up dental appts, make sure the kids take a shower, make diiner and do the laundry? If yes, I need to get me one of dem dere FFFs (Family Friendly Fridges).

  10. Mrphysic Avatar
    Mrphysic

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    ONE OF A KIND COMMENT – YOU CAN ADJUST THE TOP AND BOTTOM ONLY. THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY COMMENT (NO SWEARING) THAT HAS BEEN VERY GOOD TO ME. IF YOU PRESS THE LETTERS ON YOUR KEYBOARD WORDS APPEAR. I HATE TO GIVE IT UP BUT THERE ARE OTHER BLOG SITES I NEED TO COMMENT ON.
    IF INTERESTED PLEASE REPLY
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

  11. Lola Avatar
    Lola

    For me the best part of this post is “Q.E.D., bitches.” Where the elite and the street meet.

  12. Katy Avatar
    Katy

    I think the fridge would be nice, but is that a giant spider climbing out the right hand side? I don’t do arachnids.

    1. MoxieHart Avatar
      MoxieHart

      HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT!?!?! *Runs away*

  13. Jami(no "e") Avatar
    Jami(no “e”)

    Does it come as shown or am I going to have to buy my own gallons of mystery pink beverage and brightly colored boxes of food? I hope once it’s cleared out it’s no less “EMMACUANT” because that would just be a shame.

  14. My Evil Twin Avatar
    My Evil Twin

    Actually, I was just thinking about how “Emmacuant” sounds like a bad superhero concept:

    “Faster than a speeding Roomba(tm)!
    More powerful than an N-scale locomotive!
    Able to clean tall buildings in a single bound!
    Look! Up on the custom Baker sofa! It’s a bird! It’s a dame!
    It’s — Emmacu Aunt!”

    1. Runcible Spoon Avatar
      Runcible Spoon

      That’s EMMACU ANT!, a highly excellent insect. Red or black, take your pick.

  15. neverfirst Avatar
    neverfirst

    I love my fridge, but I’m ‘in love’ with my trash compactor.

  16. DooeyD Avatar
    DooeyD

    My ex-roommate was creepily attached to our apartment, so much so that he refused to move out (when we asked him to), even to a virtually identical apartment in the same complex. Something about the hot water taps giving out hot water, and a warm spot on the floor in the kitchen where these same miraculous hot water pipes ran below. I’m thinking that if Stephey moved in and brought her amazing fridge, the two of them would become a sweet little hermit couple. If by “sweet” you mean “bat-shit crazy.”

  17. JAMen Avatar
    JAMen

    It’s okay to love your appliances…just don’t “love” your appliances. Especially when the family is around.

    1. Runcible Spoon Avatar
      Runcible Spoon

      No worries, she said it was “family friendly.” Totally PG-rated

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