You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 433: What this table needs is a badger with spray paint.

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drmk

in

Table Dinner – $250

Its in good shap.
the coloer is blech.
and it has 4 chars.
And price is 250 or less make me an offer.

437

The poster is absolutely, positively correct in the assertion that the color of this table dinner is blech.

My problem is that I have no idea where on the RGB spectrum blech falls. I don’t remember a crayon with that name; all I remember are things like red-orange and orange-red and burnt sienna and raw umber. Blech is most definitely not an officially-sanctioned Crayola color.

It appears to fall somewhere in the spectacularly, hideously neutral range — you know, in the range of colors that are so inoffensive that they’ve swung all the way around the spectrum and are back to offensive?

But the price is $250 or less. Oooh, wait, I know this game from The Price is Right! I’m going to have to go out on a limb here and guess “less.” Do I win? Do I win the table dinner and char set?

Thanks, Kelly!

Comments

88 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 433: What this table needs is a badger with spray paint.”

  1. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    Crayola was considering making “Blech” an official color, it’s just that the scientists in charge of formulating the pigments in the lab were unable to fully recreate the disgusting neutrality of the color. (Whoo, I made an oxymoron!)

    1. Meredith Avatar
      Meredith

      It’s Crayola’s new line…”Shades of Indifference”

      Coming soon to a toy store near you. Get them NOW! Or not, whatever.

      1. SoundsLikeVla Avatar
        SoundsLikeVla

        Can I order the badger customization option and still qualify for the Indifference color package? I don’t want it to look like I care too much…

        1. Meredith Avatar
          Meredith

          Yeah, I guess…whatever.

    2. JcT Avatar
      JcT

      I just wanted to add in here that I figured out the “coloer” of the “Table Dinner”:

      Light Sunburn On Pale Skin.

      Also known as “blech”.

      Now look at the picture again and see if you agree.

  2. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    I think you’ll find the crayon called “Blech” between the crayons “Ehh” and “Hmph”.

    1. Lola Avatar
      Lola

      If you need further help looking through that box of 64, you can usually find “Ehh” adjacent to “Meh.”

    2. Isaac Avatar
      Isaac

      In the box of 48 coloers, if I remember right, “Blech” is in with “Eww” and “Ugh.” Or maybe next to “nuh-uh.”

      My favorite one in the box, though, is “OH NO YOU DI’N’T!”

      1. Mrphysic Avatar
        Mrphysic

        Admittedly “OH NO YOU DI’N’T” has got some charm but it’s a little close to “WHATEVER” for my liking. Now the slightly racier “YOU GO GIRLFRIEND” is really where it’s at.

  3. kelli Avatar
    kelli

    The coloer blech can only be achieved through years of collected dust and grime. The 4 chars used to be chairs before the big fire. Since we’re on The Price is Right, I’ll bid $1.

    1. Colleen in MA Avatar
      Colleen in MA

      ha – cheater! :0)

    2. Mrphysic Avatar
      Mrphysic

      And I’ll be the A-hole on Price is right who always just bids a single dollar higher.

      1. Raoul Avatar
        Raoul

        That’s the Unimaginative A-hole, thank you very much. I suppose it’s left for me to be the poor idiot who’s never seen a table dinner that doesn’t have legs folding. “That’s a mighty fine table kitchen, Drew! $300!”

  4. queensbee Avatar
    queensbee

    a char set is obviously a font. what this has to do with a blech table i’m not sure. and here’s my offer – 1 dollar. and you deliver it to me here in albany new york. how you get here is your problem. how does anybody misspell ‘color’?

    1. Mimi Avatar
      Mimi

      The “e” from the word “shape” fell down and landed in the word “color.” Don’t you hate it when you suffer from LTS? (Loose Text Syndrome)

      1. Caro Avatar
        Caro

        That lowercase e abandoned ship when it saw the contraction It’s without its apostrophe.

      2. Amy H. Avatar
        Amy H.

        Dangit – I just had a flash of “brilliance.” That should have been IVS (Irritable Vowel Syndrome) instead of LTS. Oh well.

    2. Procrastinator Avatar
      Procrastinator

      Maybe the poster wanted to use “couleur”? You know, to spruce up the ad a bit, since the color is blech.

      1. krista Avatar
        krista

        ooh fancy..i could totally see people eating 5 course dinners on this baby..

        1. Isaac Avatar
          Isaac

          But wouldn’t you prefer to eat dinneurs? Or, if you want real classiness, deinneours?

        2. Linnee Avatar
          Linnee

          That’s a big meal for a table dinner.

      2. Ed Snyder Avatar
        Ed Snyder

        “Couleur” makes a lot of sense and would actually make this a much more valuable “French Prudential” table.

    3. Chris Avatar
      Chris

      How does anyone misspell chair?

      1. Trinket Avatar
        Trinket

        Like this: char.

        Did that clear up things for you, Chris?

        (I’m just here to help!)

      2. skrib Avatar
        skrib

        I think he’s selling C++ char strings.

  5. Fraulein N Avatar
    Fraulein N

    $250 or less? I don’t want to play this game. I would, however, like a “table dinner” which I am guessing is bigger than a TV dinner but smaller than a five course meal. I’m hungry, dammit.

  6. Sherri Avatar
    Sherri

    Sorry, I never got to the “coloer”. I’m still working on “good shap”.

    Shap?

    .
    .
    .

    AHHAH! Wikipedia knows all!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shap

    I’m not sure even a good Shap will fit in my house, although it might be a bargain for $249, with or without the chars and even with the blech coloer.

    1. Procrastinator Avatar
      Procrastinator

      Hey, I would pay $250 for Shap–it has four pubs AND a factory making sausages. I don’t need the chars, unless they are Arctic and already cleaned.

      1. Mrphysic Avatar
        Mrphysic

        nah – the ‘e’ is missing again – it has 4 ‘pubes’ – not such a great deal.

      2. Chagnasty Avatar
        Chagnasty

        Don’t forget, Shap is also only a hop, skip and jump from such senic destinations as Cockermouth and Barrow-in-Furness (likely where the chars come from).

        This has left me kind of curious though, what’s the mascot of Cockermouth High?

        1. Mrphysic Avatar
          Mrphysic

          Well – as Cockermouth is fairly close to the coast – I’m sure they’ll be used to seeing plenty of seamen. Either that or the ‘Cockermouth Parrots’.

          It’s an old joke so let me explain: friend holds out left hand – you ask “Have you ever held a parrot in that hand?”
          They reply
          Friend holds out right hand – you ask “Have you ever held a parrot in that hand?”
          They reply
          Finally you get your friend to open their mouth – “hmmmm, bet you’ve had a cockatoo in there”

          I’m available for children’s parties by the way………

    2. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      Actually, $250 seems like a good deal for an English village. That’s a bit over 152 pounds if you trust Google. So much for the weak American dollar!
      I guess the village is under the table somewhere, it must be shy. Since no dimensions are given, that must be one giant table. I hope it doesn’t eat me for dinner.

    3. Lola Avatar
      Lola

      I hear the Lake District is nice. $250 bucks for a Cumbria village? Sounds like a bargain. On the other hand, I wouldn’t pick that table off of a curb.

    4. sfaye Avatar
      sfaye

      And they have Mango (not A mango, but Mango)? I up the bidding to $2. But I just want the good Shap, not the table dinner. I’m not currently hungry. And I can visit one of my fine English pubs when I am.

  7. horriblelicenseplates Avatar
    horriblelicenseplates

    Blech seems like it’s a mix between baby poop green and chars.

  8. sarajean80 Avatar
    sarajean80

    “disgusting neutrality” – I like that! I’m going to have to try to remember that one.

    At first I thought they had just misspelled black(an idea reinforced by the “4 chars”), until I scrolled down and saw the actual table. The only other word I can think of would be bleach, which a clear, yellowish liquid and the table is none of those things. You can’t really see the chars, so there is no way to learn the extent of the charring.It raises so many questions:
    Are the other chars under the table, or were they eaten by the table for dinner?
    Were they accidentially sealed into the walls and will I need a sledgehammer to extract them?

    It does have a good “shap”, though.

    1. My Evil Twin Avatar
      My Evil Twin

      Blech is the colour of a baby’s blech.

      Really, I had the same thought with regard to what the writer could’ve possibly intended by “blech”; the lack of realistic possibilities makes me think that this was intended to become an entry here on YSaC. Kind of takes the fun out of it, though…

    2. anon Avatar
      anon

      I’m thinking “blush”. But the commentary on “blech” has been far more entertaining 🙂

    3. vickie Avatar
      vickie

      my hypothesis on the intended color is beech…but that appears to be a tile top table and not wood…….

  9. Roses Avatar
    Roses

    Let’s see you want ME to make YOU an offer for a blech table dinner and 4 chars…

    Funnily enough, no.

    Good shap or not, the answer is still: no.

  10. PrincessLuceval Avatar
    PrincessLuceval

    Does that fit in my dinning room?

    1. Traveler Avatar
      Traveler

      Probably not, your French prudential furniture takes up a lot of space, so it would be difficult to fit in a table that can cover a Cumbrian village (plus English and French don’t mix well, you could start a Hundred Years’ War).

      1. Igor The Vigorous Avatar
        Igor The Vigorous

        I fart in your general direction!
        Go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

        1. Traveler Avatar
          Traveler

          Cherchez la vache!

      2. tigprincess Avatar
        tigprincess

        You are of course assuming that we’ve finished the first one hundred year war (I write as an inhabitant of England). In effect both sides are still ‘resting’ – thought we’d let some other countries have a go for a while – but the emnity is still there so keep Shap away from any French Prudential!
        Blech is the well known combination of black and peach so beloved of the fashion industry – but normally in contrast, not, as here, stirred together.

  11. kt Avatar
    kt

    250 or less what? clams?

    1. MoxieHart Avatar
      MoxieHart

      Pistachio nuts?

    2. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      Pickled herrings?

    3. queensbee Avatar
      queensbee

      a trunk o monkeys?

      1. dan Avatar
        dan

        I would SO go see “trunk o monkeys” at a local bar.

        1. Meredith Avatar
          Meredith

          THAT’S WHAT THAT PERSON WANTED A TICKET TO!!!!

          It was the “Trunk O Monkeys” Reunion Tour ’09!!!

  12. krista Avatar
    krista

    what is with the lines on the table? designated eating spots? because if I am counting right it would require more than 4 chars..

    1. Count Blah Avatar
      Count Blah

      It looks like the top of the table is finished in big ceramic tiles. It might have been useful if the poster had mentioned this, but then again he’d call ’em “saran tills” and nobody would know what the hell he was talking about so it’s moot.

      Could “blech” possibly be a severe bastardization of “beige”? I know it’s a long shot but I’ve certainly seen equally unbelievable spelling gaffes before. You just wanna slap the person and go “Say the word out loud. Slowly. Now how the fuck do you think there’s an ‘L’ in there?”

      1. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        I pondered that as well, but if they meant beige it probably would have come out something like “baygs”.

      2. Linnee Avatar
        Linnee

        At first I thought there was a paper tablecloth on the table to cover up the blech color.

  13. Wraith Avatar
    Wraith

    “the coloer is blech.”

    Birch? Peach? Bleached birch with floral/peach inlay? All the other misspellings and transposed words are easy to figure out, but “blech” just… blech.

  14. mudslicker Avatar
    mudslicker

    Blech is not a color. It’s an opinion. If it’s meant to be a color, I would say it would be in the puce family.

  15. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    The person listing this could have hit keys at random and probably come up with a more coherent post.

  16. MoxieHart Avatar
    MoxieHart

    Its in good shap–the
    Coloer is blech and it has
    4 chars–$250!

    There, I fixed it.

    1. PrincessLuceval Avatar
      PrincessLuceval

      Wonderful haiku! Or haycoo?

      1. MoxieHart Avatar
        MoxieHart

        Thanks. I think the preferred spelling is High-Coo.

        1. rebeccala Avatar
          rebeccala

          well, according to master loo, i believe it was spelled “hi-koo”

  17. Jami(no "e") Avatar
    Jami(no “e”)

    I kind of like the the coloer blech, it’s very peachy and warm. I’m also thrilled about the good shap, I’ve been in the market for one for quite some time. I hope it’s quaint.

  18. sfaye Avatar
    sfaye

    The shap is good.
    The coloer is blech.
    It has 4 chars.
    Just 250 or less.

  19. jackie31337 Avatar
    jackie31337

    My preschool-age daughter looked at the picture and said “that looks like a floor”. She didn’t even need to be able to read the description to think it was funny.

  20. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    I may buy the table and hope this scholar has the same level of math skills as they have writing ability.
    “Yes sir, thank you for the table. Here is a crisp 5 dollar bill. You owe me 245$ change.”

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      Or you could offer a scratch-off lottery ticket. Then you’d only have to fork over a dollar or two and wouldn’t have to waste an entire five spot.

  21. sarajean80 Avatar
    sarajean80

    What’s with the badger in the title? Could there possibly be a pop culture reference so obscure that even I don’t get it?

    1. Lola Avatar
      Lola

      http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2973
      I think it’s this earlier post (see original ad commentary).

      1. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        Ah. That was…Wow. That table makes this one actually look like it’s worth $250.

  22. Traveler Avatar
    Traveler

    “Hideously neutral” (and “disgusting neutrality” even more) remind me of Zap Branigan bombing the Neutral Planet in Futurama (“with evil people at least you know what they are up to, but these neutrals really get on my nerves”).

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      Neutral Vice President: Your Neutralness, it’s a beige alert.
      Neutral President: If I don’t survive, tell my wife “Hello.”

      Best.Show.Ever. Why are all the good ones cancelled?

      1. geeklove Avatar
        geeklove

        It’s coming back, you know. Took them awhile to figure it out, but hey, I’m not complaining.

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          The movies are good(I’ve got them all), but for random wackiness the original show run has a special place in my heart.

    2. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      “What makes a man turn … neutral, Kif?”

  23. Christine Avatar
    Christine

    I am pretty sure she meant BLEACH as in it looks bleached out.

  24. casualencounters.com/blog Avatar
    casualencounters.com/blog

    The blech tones do go rather nicely with the ug shades present in the poster’s wallpaper, though.

  25. JcT Avatar
    JcT

    My finger hovers over this person’s reset button… But I must stop and ponder…

    You know, are we really this doomed?

    Every line in the posting is wrong in some way. I just don’t want to believe there are people WHO CAN USE A COMPUTER who are this stupid. I mean, I know there are people in the backwoods of *Name Your Favorite State With Backwoods People In It*, but they don’t know what Craigslist is or how to use it. You have to be able to SPELL Craiglist to get there!

    I’m glad they offered me to make them an offer. I offer a dictionary and a thesaurus for your “Table Dinner”. SOLD!

    1. Jess Avatar
      Jess

      You don’t necessarily have to be able to spell Craigslist to go on there, you simply have to be able to say to someone ” I have to sell my blech table dinner. Can you help?”. The helpful person walks the poster through it step by step possibly even opening the site for them. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to do this myself, both in person and over the phone. I’m not saying Craigslist postings only, but for many different things. You’d be surprised how many computer illiterate people there still are out there.

      1. JcT Avatar
        JcT

        I used to be in tech support (actually several times in my life; I’m pretty good), and I still am a computer helper for friends and family, so I know just how bad it can be. I have Tech Hell stories that would curl your hair.

        But… Every. Sentence. In. The. Posting. Has. An. Error.

        When God passed out the brains, this person was too busy trying to pry their bagel out of the toaster with a fork to bother getting in line.

      2. Lola Avatar
        Lola

        “You’d be surprised how many computer illiterate people there still are out there.”

        Computer illiterate and every kind of dumb, and they still manage to get online.

        Do we need a finer weave on the internets to filter this out?

      3. Mrphysic Avatar
        Mrphysic

        “I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to do this myself, both in person and over the phone. ”

        It’s great that you have such patient friends

        1. Jess Avatar
          Jess

          Darn that comma that’s masquerading as a period and hiding the original intent of my words. I do have patient friends though and I’m thankful for every last one of them.

      4. Fraulein N Avatar
        Fraulein N

        Sadly, I would not be at all surprised. But still, somebody had to find their way to the Internet, then to Craigslist, then work the keyboard enough to type out some things that vaguely resemble the words they’re supposed to be (this is where the process went awry), THEN submit it, then check their email, then confirm the submission …

        Actually, I guess what should surprise me is that there was a breakdown in competency at only one point in the process. Gah.

  26. Trinket Avatar
    Trinket

    “Table Dinner ”
    Clearly what they are selling is not supposed to be a table, as you all suggest, but something you can feed to your table for dinner. Since the picture appears to be of a table, I’m going to guess that it is a dinner for cannibal tables. I never knew there were such things but after that one post about the cannibal ceiling fan… You learn something new on YSaC every day!

    “Its in good shap.”
    Some of you are suggesting that Shap is what is getting sold here but if you read closely you find that this dinner is IN shap (which is a good place to be, apparently) where you will have to take your table to eat.

    “the coloer is blech.”
    Obviously “coloer” is a misspelling of “cooler.” The poster must have been previously trying to sell a cooler which has since grown mold. Either that or they are warning you not to try and feed your table a cooler. It’s bad for their digestion.

    “price is 250 ”
    I’m trying to figure out which Price they’re talking about here. I suspect Vincent Price, he’s pretty old, right? Or he would be, if he were still alive…

    There. I hope I’ve cleared it all up for you.

  27. normadesmond Avatar
    normadesmond

    blech…it’s yiddish

  28. Terri (terriko) ‘s status on Monday, 05-Oct-09 16:12:12 UTC – Identi.ca

    […] http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3178 a few seconds ago from web […]

  29. Disturbed Avatar
    Disturbed

    While I also found this humorous, it’s a crime how illiterate this person is. How did they even find the website “Craigslist”?

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