YSaC, Vol. 433: What this table needs is a badger with spray paint.

2009 September 23

Table Dinner – $250


Its in good shap.
the coloer is blech.
and it has 4 chars.
And price is 250 or less make me an offer.

437

The poster is absolutely, positively correct in the assertion that the color of this table dinner is blech.

My problem is that I have no idea where on the RGB spectrum blech falls. I don’t remember a crayon with that name; all I remember are things like red-orange and orange-red and burnt sienna and raw umber. Blech is most definitely not an officially-sanctioned Crayola color.

It appears to fall somewhere in the spectacularly, hideously neutral range — you know, in the range of colors that are so inoffensive that they’ve swung all the way around the spectrum and are back to offensive?

But the price is $250 or less. Oooh, wait, I know this game from The Price is Right! I’m going to have to go out on a limb here and guess “less.” Do I win? Do I win the table dinner and char set?

Thanks, Kelly!

88 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 September 23
    dogface permalink

    Crayola was considering making “Blech” an official color, it’s just that the scientists in charge of formulating the pigments in the lab were unable to fully recreate the disgusting neutrality of the color. (Whoo, I made an oxymoron!)

    Adores: 6
    • 2009 September 23
      Meredith permalink

      It’s Crayola’s new line…”Shades of Indifference”

      Coming soon to a toy store near you. Get them NOW! Or not, whatever.

      Adores: 75
      • 2009 September 23
        SoundsLikeVla permalink

        Can I order the badger customization option and still qualify for the Indifference color package? I don’t want it to look like I care too much…

        Adores: 5
        • 2009 September 24
          Meredith permalink

          Yeah, I guess…whatever.

          Adores: 1
    • 2009 September 24
      JcT permalink

      I just wanted to add in here that I figured out the “coloer” of the “Table Dinner”:

      Light Sunburn On Pale Skin.

      Also known as “blech”.

      Now look at the picture again and see if you agree.

      Adores: 6
  2. 2009 September 23
    Colleen in MA permalink

    I think you’ll find the crayon called “Blech” between the crayons “Ehh” and “Hmph”.

    Adores: 16
    • 2009 September 23
      Lola permalink

      If you need further help looking through that box of 64, you can usually find “Ehh” adjacent to “Meh.”

      Adores: 3
    • 2009 September 23

      In the box of 48 coloers, if I remember right, “Blech” is in with “Eww” and “Ugh.” Or maybe next to “nuh-uh.”

      My favorite one in the box, though, is “OH NO YOU DI’N’T!”

      Adores: 20
      • 2009 September 23
        Mrphysic permalink

        Admittedly “OH NO YOU DI’N’T” has got some charm but it’s a little close to “WHATEVER” for my liking. Now the slightly racier “YOU GO GIRLFRIEND” is really where it’s at.

        Adores: 5
  3. 2009 September 23

    The coloer blech can only be achieved through years of collected dust and grime. The 4 chars used to be chairs before the big fire. Since we’re on The Price is Right, I’ll bid $1.

    Adores: 16
    • 2009 September 23
      Colleen in MA permalink

      ha – cheater! :0)

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 September 23
      Mrphysic permalink

      And I’ll be the A-hole on Price is right who always just bids a single dollar higher.

      Adores: 8
      • 2009 September 27
        Raoul permalink

        That’s the Unimaginative A-hole, thank you very much. I suppose it’s left for me to be the poor idiot who’s never seen a table dinner that doesn’t have legs folding. “That’s a mighty fine table kitchen, Drew! $300!”

        Adores: 0
  4. 2009 September 23
    queensbee permalink

    a char set is obviously a font. what this has to do with a blech table i’m not sure. and here’s my offer – 1 dollar. and you deliver it to me here in albany new york. how you get here is your problem. how does anybody misspell ‘color’?

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 September 23
      Mimi permalink

      The “e” from the word “shape” fell down and landed in the word “color.” Don’t you hate it when you suffer from LTS? (Loose Text Syndrome)

      Adores: 49
      • 2009 September 23
        Caro permalink

        That lowercase e abandoned ship when it saw the contraction It’s without its apostrophe.

        Adores: 2
      • 2009 September 23
        Amy H. permalink

        Dangit – I just had a flash of “brilliance.” That should have been IVS (Irritable Vowel Syndrome) instead of LTS. Oh well.

        Adores: 31
    • 2009 September 23
      Procrastinator permalink

      Maybe the poster wanted to use “couleur”? You know, to spruce up the ad a bit, since the color is blech.

      Adores: 7
      • 2009 September 23
        krista permalink

        ooh fancy..i could totally see people eating 5 course dinners on this baby..

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 September 23

          But wouldn’t you prefer to eat dinneurs? Or, if you want real classiness, deinneours?

          Adores: 8
        • 2009 September 23
          Linnee permalink

          That’s a big meal for a table dinner.

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 September 23
        Ed Snyder permalink

        “Couleur” makes a lot of sense and would actually make this a much more valuable “French Prudential” table.

        Adores: 8
    • 2009 September 23
      Chris permalink

      How does anyone misspell chair?

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 September 24
        Trinket permalink

        Like this: char.

        Did that clear up things for you, Chris?

        (I’m just here to help!)

        Adores: 12
      • 2009 September 26

        I think he’s selling C++ char strings.

        Adores: 0
  5. 2009 September 23

    $250 or less? I don’t want to play this game. I would, however, like a “table dinner” which I am guessing is bigger than a TV dinner but smaller than a five course meal. I’m hungry, dammit.

    Adores: 18
  6. 2009 September 23
    Sherri permalink

    Sorry, I never got to the “coloer”. I’m still working on “good shap”.

    Shap?

    .
    .
    .

    AHHAH! Wikipedia knows all!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shap

    I’m not sure even a good Shap will fit in my house, although it might be a bargain for $249, with or without the chars and even with the blech coloer.

    Adores: 9
    • 2009 September 23
      Procrastinator permalink

      Hey, I would pay $250 for Shap–it has four pubs AND a factory making sausages. I don’t need the chars, unless they are Arctic and already cleaned.

      Adores: 7
      • 2009 September 23
        Mrphysic permalink

        nah – the ‘e’ is missing again – it has 4 ‘pubes’ – not such a great deal.

        Adores: 8
      • 2009 September 23

        Don’t forget, Shap is also only a hop, skip and jump from such senic destinations as Cockermouth and Barrow-in-Furness (likely where the chars come from).

        This has left me kind of curious though, what’s the mascot of Cockermouth High?

        Adores: 6
        • 2009 September 23
          Mrphysic permalink

          Well – as Cockermouth is fairly close to the coast – I’m sure they’ll be used to seeing plenty of seamen. Either that or the ‘Cockermouth Parrots’.

          It’s an old joke so let me explain: friend holds out left hand – you ask “Have you ever held a parrot in that hand?”
          They reply
          Friend holds out right hand – you ask “Have you ever held a parrot in that hand?”
          They reply
          Finally you get your friend to open their mouth – “hmmmm, bet you’ve had a cockatoo in there”

          I’m available for children’s parties by the way………

          Adores: 9
    • 2009 September 23
      sarajean80 permalink

      Actually, $250 seems like a good deal for an English village. That’s a bit over 152 pounds if you trust Google. So much for the weak American dollar!
      I guess the village is under the table somewhere, it must be shy. Since no dimensions are given, that must be one giant table. I hope it doesn’t eat me for dinner.

      Adores: 11
    • 2009 September 23
      Lola permalink

      I hear the Lake District is nice. $250 bucks for a Cumbria village? Sounds like a bargain. On the other hand, I wouldn’t pick that table off of a curb.

      Adores: 2
    • 2009 September 23
      sfaye permalink

      And they have Mango (not A mango, but Mango)? I up the bidding to $2. But I just want the good Shap, not the table dinner. I’m not currently hungry. And I can visit one of my fine English pubs when I am.

      Adores: 5
  7. 2009 September 23

    Blech seems like it’s a mix between baby poop green and chars.

    Adores: 0
  8. 2009 September 23
    sarajean80 permalink

    “disgusting neutrality” – I like that! I’m going to have to try to remember that one.

    At first I thought they had just misspelled black(an idea reinforced by the “4 chars”), until I scrolled down and saw the actual table. The only other word I can think of would be bleach, which a clear, yellowish liquid and the table is none of those things. You can’t really see the chars, so there is no way to learn the extent of the charring.It raises so many questions:
    Are the other chars under the table, or were they eaten by the table for dinner?
    Were they accidentially sealed into the walls and will I need a sledgehammer to extract them?

    It does have a good “shap”, though.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 September 23
      My Evil Twin permalink

      Blech is the colour of a baby’s blech.

      Really, I had the same thought with regard to what the writer could’ve possibly intended by “blech”; the lack of realistic possibilities makes me think that this was intended to become an entry here on YSaC. Kind of takes the fun out of it, though…

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 September 23
      anon permalink

      I’m thinking “blush”. But the commentary on “blech” has been far more entertaining 🙂

      Adores: 2
    • 2009 September 23
      vickie permalink

      my hypothesis on the intended color is beech…but that appears to be a tile top table and not wood…….

      Adores: 1
  9. 2009 September 23

    Let’s see you want ME to make YOU an offer for a blech table dinner and 4 chars…

    Funnily enough, no.

    Good shap or not, the answer is still: no.

    Adores: 2
  10. 2009 September 23
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    Does that fit in my dinning room?

    Adores: 7
    • 2009 September 23
      Traveler permalink

      Probably not, your French prudential furniture takes up a lot of space, so it would be difficult to fit in a table that can cover a Cumbrian village (plus English and French don’t mix well, you could start a Hundred Years’ War).

      Adores: 14
      • 2009 September 23
        Igor The Vigorous permalink

        I fart in your general direction!
        Go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

        Adores: 6
        • 2009 September 23
          Traveler permalink

          Cherchez la vache!

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 September 24
        tigprincess permalink

        You are of course assuming that we’ve finished the first one hundred year war (I write as an inhabitant of England). In effect both sides are still ‘resting’ – thought we’d let some other countries have a go for a while – but the emnity is still there so keep Shap away from any French Prudential!
        Blech is the well known combination of black and peach so beloved of the fashion industry – but normally in contrast, not, as here, stirred together.

        Adores: 1
  11. 2009 September 23

    250 or less what? clams?

    Adores: 4
    • 2009 September 23

      Pistachio nuts?

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 September 23
      sarajean80 permalink

      Pickled herrings?

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 September 23
      queensbee permalink

      a trunk o monkeys?

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 September 23
        dan permalink

        I would SO go see “trunk o monkeys” at a local bar.

        Adores: 5
        • 2009 September 26
          Meredith permalink

          THAT’S WHAT THAT PERSON WANTED A TICKET TO!!!!

          It was the “Trunk O Monkeys” Reunion Tour ’09!!!

          Adores: 1
  12. 2009 September 23
    krista permalink

    what is with the lines on the table? designated eating spots? because if I am counting right it would require more than 4 chars..

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 September 23
      Count Blah permalink

      It looks like the top of the table is finished in big ceramic tiles. It might have been useful if the poster had mentioned this, but then again he’d call ’em “saran tills” and nobody would know what the hell he was talking about so it’s moot.

      Could “blech” possibly be a severe bastardization of “beige”? I know it’s a long shot but I’ve certainly seen equally unbelievable spelling gaffes before. You just wanna slap the person and go “Say the word out loud. Slowly. Now how the fuck do you think there’s an ‘L’ in there?”

      Adores: 19
      • 2009 September 23
        sarajean80 permalink

        I pondered that as well, but if they meant beige it probably would have come out something like “baygs”.

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 September 23
        Linnee permalink

        At first I thought there was a paper tablecloth on the table to cover up the blech color.

        Adores: 0
  13. 2009 September 23
    Wraith permalink

    “the coloer is blech.”

    Birch? Peach? Bleached birch with floral/peach inlay? All the other misspellings and transposed words are easy to figure out, but “blech” just… blech.

    Adores: 2
  14. 2009 September 23
    mudslicker permalink

    Blech is not a color. It’s an opinion. If it’s meant to be a color, I would say it would be in the puce family.

    Adores: 7
  15. 2009 September 23
    Heather permalink

    The person listing this could have hit keys at random and probably come up with a more coherent post.

    Adores: 8
  16. 2009 September 23

    Its in good shap–the
    Coloer is blech and it has
    4 chars–$250!

    There, I fixed it.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 September 23
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      Wonderful haiku! Or haycoo?

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 September 24

        Thanks. I think the preferred spelling is High-Coo.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 September 24
          rebeccala permalink

          well, according to master loo, i believe it was spelled “hi-koo”

          Adores: 0
  17. 2009 September 23

    I kind of like the the coloer blech, it’s very peachy and warm. I’m also thrilled about the good shap, I’ve been in the market for one for quite some time. I hope it’s quaint.

    Adores: 1
  18. 2009 September 23
    sfaye permalink

    The shap is good.
    The coloer is blech.
    It has 4 chars.
    Just 250 or less.

    Adores: 2
  19. 2009 September 23
    jackie31337 permalink

    My preschool-age daughter looked at the picture and said “that looks like a floor”. She didn’t even need to be able to read the description to think it was funny.

    Adores: 3
  20. 2009 September 23
    corn flakes permalink

    I may buy the table and hope this scholar has the same level of math skills as they have writing ability.
    “Yes sir, thank you for the table. Here is a crisp 5 dollar bill. You owe me 245$ change.”

    Adores: 7
    • 2009 September 23
      sarajean80 permalink

      Or you could offer a scratch-off lottery ticket. Then you’d only have to fork over a dollar or two and wouldn’t have to waste an entire five spot.

      Adores: 1
  21. 2009 September 23
    sarajean80 permalink

    What’s with the badger in the title? Could there possibly be a pop culture reference so obscure that even I don’t get it?

    Adores: 0
  22. 2009 September 23
    Traveler permalink

    “Hideously neutral” (and “disgusting neutrality” even more) remind me of Zap Branigan bombing the Neutral Planet in Futurama (“with evil people at least you know what they are up to, but these neutrals really get on my nerves”).

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 September 23
      sarajean80 permalink

      Neutral Vice President: Your Neutralness, it’s a beige alert.
      Neutral President: If I don’t survive, tell my wife “Hello.”

      Best.Show.Ever. Why are all the good ones cancelled?

      Adores: 5
      • 2009 September 23
        geeklove permalink

        It’s coming back, you know. Took them awhile to figure it out, but hey, I’m not complaining.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 September 23
          sarajean80 permalink

          The movies are good(I’ve got them all), but for random wackiness the original show run has a special place in my heart.

          Adores: 0
    • 2009 September 23
      drmk permalink

      “What makes a man turn … neutral, Kif?”

      Adores: 5
  23. 2009 September 23
    Christine permalink

    I am pretty sure she meant BLEACH as in it looks bleached out.

    Adores: 1
  24. 2009 September 23

    The blech tones do go rather nicely with the ug shades present in the poster’s wallpaper, though.

    Adores: 0
  25. 2009 September 23
    JcT permalink

    My finger hovers over this person’s reset button… But I must stop and ponder…

    You know, are we really this doomed?

    Every line in the posting is wrong in some way. I just don’t want to believe there are people WHO CAN USE A COMPUTER who are this stupid. I mean, I know there are people in the backwoods of *Name Your Favorite State With Backwoods People In It*, but they don’t know what Craigslist is or how to use it. You have to be able to SPELL Craiglist to get there!

    I’m glad they offered me to make them an offer. I offer a dictionary and a thesaurus for your “Table Dinner”. SOLD!

    Adores: 4
    • 2009 September 23
      Jess permalink

      You don’t necessarily have to be able to spell Craigslist to go on there, you simply have to be able to say to someone ” I have to sell my blech table dinner. Can you help?”. The helpful person walks the poster through it step by step possibly even opening the site for them. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to do this myself, both in person and over the phone. I’m not saying Craigslist postings only, but for many different things. You’d be surprised how many computer illiterate people there still are out there.

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 September 23
        JcT permalink

        I used to be in tech support (actually several times in my life; I’m pretty good), and I still am a computer helper for friends and family, so I know just how bad it can be. I have Tech Hell stories that would curl your hair.

        But… Every. Sentence. In. The. Posting. Has. An. Error.

        When God passed out the brains, this person was too busy trying to pry their bagel out of the toaster with a fork to bother getting in line.

        Adores: 12
      • 2009 September 23
        Lola permalink

        “You’d be surprised how many computer illiterate people there still are out there.”

        Computer illiterate and every kind of dumb, and they still manage to get online.

        Do we need a finer weave on the internets to filter this out?

        Adores: 3
      • 2009 September 23
        Mrphysic permalink

        “I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to do this myself, both in person and over the phone. ”

        It’s great that you have such patient friends

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 September 24
          Jess permalink

          Darn that comma that’s masquerading as a period and hiding the original intent of my words. I do have patient friends though and I’m thankful for every last one of them.

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 September 24

        Sadly, I would not be at all surprised. But still, somebody had to find their way to the Internet, then to Craigslist, then work the keyboard enough to type out some things that vaguely resemble the words they’re supposed to be (this is where the process went awry), THEN submit it, then check their email, then confirm the submission …

        Actually, I guess what should surprise me is that there was a breakdown in competency at only one point in the process. Gah.

        Adores: 0
  26. 2009 September 24
    Trinket permalink

    “Table Dinner ”
    Clearly what they are selling is not supposed to be a table, as you all suggest, but something you can feed to your table for dinner. Since the picture appears to be of a table, I’m going to guess that it is a dinner for cannibal tables. I never knew there were such things but after that one post about the cannibal ceiling fan… You learn something new on YSaC every day!

    “Its in good shap.”
    Some of you are suggesting that Shap is what is getting sold here but if you read closely you find that this dinner is IN shap (which is a good place to be, apparently) where you will have to take your table to eat.

    “the coloer is blech.”
    Obviously “coloer” is a misspelling of “cooler.” The poster must have been previously trying to sell a cooler which has since grown mold. Either that or they are warning you not to try and feed your table a cooler. It’s bad for their digestion.

    “price is 250 ”
    I’m trying to figure out which Price they’re talking about here. I suspect Vincent Price, he’s pretty old, right? Or he would be, if he were still alive…

    There. I hope I’ve cleared it all up for you.

    Adores: 7
  27. 2009 September 24

    blech…it’s yiddish

    Adores: 0
  28. 2010 September 2
    Disturbed permalink

    While I also found this humorous, it’s a crime how illiterate this person is. How did they even find the website “Craigslist”?

    Adores: 0

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