You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: unclear on the concept

  • YSaC, Vol. 270: If it’s old, it must be valuable, right?

    Antique Buffet (very old) – $1100

    This buffet is very old, How I know, because my Aunt who owned it (at one time) was very old before she passed. Best offer and it is yours. No worries… she told me to sell it…. 😉

    2701270a

    Professor: “Good morning, class, and welcome to Logic 101. Today, we’re going to study the logical fallacy known as cum hoc ergo propter hoc. Who can tell me what’s wrong with this statement?

         My aunt is old.
         My aunt owned this buffet.
         Therefore, this buffet is old."

    Snowflake K. Student: “Um ….. my aunt isn’t old anymore because she’s dead?”
    Professor: “Not exactly. Anyone else?”
    Precious B. Student: “If it’s your aunt’s buffet you don’t have permission to sell it?”
    Professor: *heavy sigh* “Try again.”
    Design R. Student: “Ooooh, I know! The buffet is ugly, the support beam is broken, and there’s no way it’s worth $1000?”
    Professor: “I give up. I’m going to go outside and yell at squirrels for a while.”

    Meanwhile, at Sylvia Plath’s favorite furniture shop:
    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 267: ‘Monogamous Gerbils’ would be a terrible name for a band.

    There’s two entries today, Vol. 266 and 267, so be sure to scroll down. (This was an accident, but I’m going to leave it that way and pretend I meant to do that. You may fawn obsequiously in the comments.)

    All it takes is one… – w4m – 26

    “Nice girl with a big heart looking for a sweat guy. I like bathes and showers as well. Most people only like one if that!!! I like to keep my options open. Tired of being pushed around and mistreeted. Iwant someone who respects me for who I am and knows how to treat a cute girl. Being able to listen to lots of opinions I might have when I’m drunk is always a plus. So is knowing how to handle a gerbil. I have 7 and they are like my kids, I luv them, alot!!! N*E*WAYZ I will go now if you want to know more just ask, I’m an open book. i prefer at least 6 inchers. I can deal with less but it’s not near as fun. no small weiners! lol “

    Why is this in quotes? Is it a transcription? Was she dictating this to someone?

    It’s a good thing she likes baths and showers if she’s going to be looking for a sweat guy.

    I’m still trying to figure out the “N*E*WAYZ I will go now”  bit. I mean, I know what it means, but why would someone write that in a personal ad? It sounds like something a third grader would write in a letter to a penpal. “Dear Jimmy, How is your summer? My summer is fun. I went to camp and then went bowling. N*E*WAYZ I have to go now, it’s time for dinner. Johnny”

    And I’m hoping I’m not the only one who (at first) thought that ‘6 inchers’ referred back to the gerbils.

    As a special Friday bonus, here’s a series of ads sent in by Tonya. I’m leaving the dates intact on this series for a reason… (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 259: In space, nobody can hear you’re stupid.

    A couple of people sent this one in. Unfortunately, it had been flagged by the time I got to it … but luckily Sarah had taken a screen shot of it:

    256

    For those of you with Internet Eye Syndrome, here’s the text of the ad:

    “Hi i have 8 7591 vacuum tubes that were new old stock, i tested these in a scott amplifier and worked well. I carefully removed the glass on each tube to clean both sides as all the tops had silver inside blocking view of tubes light now the tubes have no glass but may still work. asking 50.00 each.”

    John had also pointed me towards this listing, saying:

    “This guy’s post is for a set of 8 NOS (new old stock) tubes for audio amplifiers. NOS mean they were made long ago, but are still not used. A pack of 8 of these NOS would be worth $200+ easily. So this guy breaks off the glass and “cleans all the shiny stuff” off the insides. The only place these might work would be the vacuum of space and are now worthless. That’s sort of like: New Light bulbs. I opened them to clean out the white stuff. They should still work. Oh and they don’t come with the glass anymore.”

    Sarah’s commentary was, “It’s almost worth the $50 to see if this guy keeps doing it. Almost.”

    Of course, since I’m a girl, my reaction was, “But will they match my shoes?”

    Thanks, Sarah and John!

  • YSaC, Vol. 254: $5 *is* a lot of money to invest in yourself.

    Im looking to sell myself, but dont wana pay 5 bux – 27 (wherever u are)

    Did you know that to post in “Erotic Services” you need to pay 5 bucks, AND a phone confirmation!! Im trying to make money, not spend it! So basically the truth is, a couple nights ago I watched “American Gigalo” with Richard Gere.. You remember that one? In it, Richard plays the role of a lifetime, where he basically lounges around all day by the pool, waiting for his shift to start.. And his job is simple-Look good in a tux.So I thought, why not. I look good in a tux RIGHT?
    So I came here to craigslist to post myself Richy Gere style, but was shocked to see that in order to post, u gota spend FIVE DOLLARS!! WHAT!?
    Plus, I didn’t see one single dood in the erotic services sooooooo……..
    if you’re going to that dinner with tha mayor tonight..Don’t hesitate to, first buy me a tuxedo, then call me up.

    My name is Julian. Prices may vary. [spelled out area code], five hundred fourteen, [number] thousand [number] hundred [number]-nine

    Overall, this is a great plan. There’s just a few problems with it that I’d like to address:

    1. You aren’t Richard Gere.
    2. Posing by someone else’s Mercedes is not classy.
    3. If you’re going to be a gigolo, you should really own your own tux.

    Other than that, I can’t see a single problem with this plan.

    I think I should start a “what could possibly go wrong?” tag. Or does “this can only end badly” cover it?

  • YSaC, Vol. 250: Iw4mW,B III: They start early these days.

    I will begin by saying please since I have posted a picture of myself – w4m – 21

    I will begin by saying please since I have posted a picture of myself if you have not then sorry I am not interested as I will not respond to any inquires unless you have a pic. o now a little something about myself I am a women that just wants to have fun and enjoy life with someone. I enjoy the outdoors expecially in the spring and summer. The beach is where I go to relax nothing better then sitting with someone by the water listening to the waves in the night, along with a nice bottle of wine. I also love going to the pool and relaxing in the sun with a good book and my music playing. I am a sports nut so would like to find someone that enjoys them as much as I do. I a a very a simple women that wants to enjoy life with that special person. I love cuddling on the couch and watching a good movie. I am a very afficated person and would like to find someone that can make me laugh and enjoy having fun. I am very lucky and have 2 wonderful daughter and 3 granddaughters that are very important to me. Not into all that game playing and drama that goes on now a days. I am not looking for someone to take care of me as I can do that for myself. I want someone that is my equal. Loves to laugh so looking if you have a good sense of humour that is great. There are so many thing I have not seen or done would like to find someone to explore all these things with me. Please since I have posted a picture if you have not then sorry I am not interested.

    …. aaaaannnnd, you guessed it — there was no picture posted with the ad.

    Plus, I’m having some math issues: if she’s claiming she’s 21 and has “2 wonderful daughter and 3 granddaughters” …

    Wednesday bonus ad! (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 246: Is there a world record for simultaneous reclination?

    4 Recliner Curved Sofa

    Want to buy a curved 4 recliner sofa

    Is that a question, or a statement?