You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 250: Iw4mW,B III: They start early these days.

Written by

drmk

in

I will begin by saying please since I have posted a picture of myself – w4m – 21

I will begin by saying please since I have posted a picture of myself if you have not then sorry I am not interested as I will not respond to any inquires unless you have a pic. o now a little something about myself I am a women that just wants to have fun and enjoy life with someone. I enjoy the outdoors expecially in the spring and summer. The beach is where I go to relax nothing better then sitting with someone by the water listening to the waves in the night, along with a nice bottle of wine. I also love going to the pool and relaxing in the sun with a good book and my music playing. I am a sports nut so would like to find someone that enjoys them as much as I do. I a a very a simple women that wants to enjoy life with that special person. I love cuddling on the couch and watching a good movie. I am a very afficated person and would like to find someone that can make me laugh and enjoy having fun. I am very lucky and have 2 wonderful daughter and 3 granddaughters that are very important to me. Not into all that game playing and drama that goes on now a days. I am not looking for someone to take care of me as I can do that for myself. I want someone that is my equal. Loves to laugh so looking if you have a good sense of humour that is great. There are so many thing I have not seen or done would like to find someone to explore all these things with me. Please since I have posted a picture if you have not then sorry I am not interested.

…. aaaaannnnd, you guessed it — there was no picture posted with the ad.

Plus, I’m having some math issues: if she’s claiming she’s 21 and has “2 wonderful daughter and 3 granddaughters” …

Wednesday bonus ad!

only if you want too – 24

Very attractive female looking for a fun interesting guy. Recently divorced after five years with two girls so this dating thing is so new. All I’ve met are guys who just want to sleep with me because of my looks so I’ve decided to look for a guy who would love to spoil a young beautiful women. In no way am i looking for sexual encounters in exchange for cash. I just want a older guy (I’m 24) who would love to enjoyed a passionate, fun loving, down to earth chick in their spare time and wouldn’t mind spoiling with beautiful gifts, time, and friendship. If interested send pic for pic

To sum it up. companionship without a relationship but be willing to spoil me. d/d free pls

Sent in by Elaysha, who says, “To sum it up: I want someone who will treat me like the spoiled little daddy’s girl I was before I decided to rebel and get married at 19 (after being knocked up of course). In addition, I want them to ignore my commanding ego and my not-so-commanding grasp of the English language.

I just have to wonder…how selfish does one have to be to be looking for someone to spoil her lazy self but makes no mention of spoiling her girls?”

Sounds like someone wants a sugar daddy, no?

Comments

21 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 250: Iw4mW,B III: They start early these days.”

  1. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    my head hurts.

  2. Jenn Avatar
    Jenn

    I’m afficated, too! Who knew there were two of us out there?

    1. tigprincess Avatar
      tigprincess

      Snap! that makes three now!

      1. ratwoman Avatar
        ratwoman

        You can get a cream from your doctor for it, though.

  3. Random Person Avatar
    Random Person

    Wow, two of them that don’t know the difference between the plural and singular of “woman.”

    And “afficated” – what does that even mean? Seriously, I can’t even figure out what she was attempting to spell. Affected? Affianced? Affixed? Afflicted? Dedicated? Efficacious? Fixated? Inflated? Aflatoxin? AFLAC? Affectionate? Applicated? Wait, that last isn’t even a word. This is obviously damaging my brain.

    “Affectionate” is the only one that makes any sense, but oh my, if that’s what she meant, she is SO FAR OFF. I didn’t even come up with that guess until I’d thought about the others.

  4. Random Person Avatar
    Random Person

    “In no way am i looking for sexual encounters in exchange for cash.” No, she’s looking for sexual encounters in exchange for expensive jewelry.

  5. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    I enjoy long walks on the beach and run-on sentences.
    I hate proofreading and commas, but i love making up words.

  6. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    ” like to find someone that can make me laugh and enjoy having fun.”
    because “now a days” it really is hard to enjoy “fun”

    Also in the Cliche-box
    “Loves to laugh” and needs “someone that can make me laugh”
    as opposed to the rest of us that absolutely hate laughter, and want someone who will make us cry.
    In fact, i started laughing at some of the comments but i hate to laugh so now i am furious. Thanks a lot blog!

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      My work here is done.

  7. PrincessLuceval Avatar
    PrincessLuceval

    I think “afficated” means “started having children when she was five.” That’s the only way the math is reasonable!

  8. BillsBayou Avatar
    BillsBayou

    “I am a very afficated person” Sorry, but that’s a deal breaker. I don’t date afficated persons. The doctor told me I’ve developed an allergy to the medication. The next case of Afficatia could kill me.

    “companionship without a relationship but be willing to spoil me” is a whore who only accepts goods.

  9. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    I am expecially excited about the girl who is afficated. Is it possible that translates to “I have no interest in any activities that involve my young children”?

  10. Cheryl Avatar
    Cheryl

    Wow! I a a very a simple women too! Who knew?

  11. CasualEncountersBlog Avatar
    CasualEncountersBlog

    It makes my head spin to read it. Ouch.

  12. brashieel Avatar
    brashieel

    The first one sounds like a clumsy spam attempt, whereas the second one is (as has already been pointed out) a hooker who likes the barter system.

    This was painful.

  13. Cory Avatar
    Cory

    She really needs someone who can “make her…enjoy having fun?” Who doesn’t enjoy having fun on their own? Isn’t that the whole idea of “fun?” Something that is enjoyable to do?

  14. My Evil Twin Avatar
    My Evil Twin

    My interpretation of “companionship without a relationship but be willing to spoil me” was that she is unwilling to do anything sexual (she even wrote that “in no way [is she] looking for sexual encounters”), but will pretend to be your friend for shiny trinkets and stuff. So, if I’m correct, she’s not looking for a sugar-daddy, more like a Splenda-brother.

    1. Addicted Reader Avatar
      Addicted Reader

      Splenda brother.

      Nice.

  15. aoeu Avatar
    aoeu

    In the top one the 21 isn’t years but stone. 21×14=294lbs

  16. trinket Avatar
    trinket

    Obviously ’21’ is a typo. She probably just switched the numbers around so she’s really 12. Wait, no. Never mind.

  17. emeff Avatar
    emeff

    I wish someone from the comments had written to ask her what “afficated” meant. How could it possibly be affectionate, and tie in with laughing?

    Also: yay for Hedwig!

Leave a Reply

More posts