You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 247: Let me guess .. you’re divorced, right?

Written by

drmk

in

And now for your daily dose of rampant misogyny …

Boat/Stuff/cheap..

Please!!
No BUba thinking picking a free deal….
Most ive bought was Quailty (G0/2/Marine.com}(West/Marine} No! Wall-Mally Crap!!
Item….1 Bimini Top.. Was $325.. sell for for $125. 88”wide x56” high 7’x7” long.. please if u women cant mesure d/not e-mail..
Boat Propeller 14” x 19 deg’s Stainless Steel all most new. look at most marine shop’s …Fish/Finder /Eagle /Ultra/Classic..Lady dont call what color come’s in White…Next!!! G.P.S. Garmin!! 2003 yep old but work’s like new..V.H.F. Realistic Marine Radio!! Yes LADY,, it’s a so called c/b but no V.H.F. ask your dad!! next Item///Last … Outboard/tram/mount/great .. recommended not over 40hp.. Call PH.xxx-xxxx E-Mail xxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com [location]..

Clearly no women could ever be entrusted to MESURE something properly, and obviously women are so stupid that they have to ask a man to explain complicated things like VHF radios. After all, we’re more worried about things like whether the propeller will match our handbag and shoes.

It was really difficult for me to not leave in the phone number and email on this one, and to not encourage those of us with two X chromosomes to call this guy repeatedly and ask stupid questions about what he’s selling. (Or even better, find someone really knowledgeable about them and ask him questions that would stump him!) But I’m a good girl. Just ask my dad.

Sent in by Dan, who obviously knows about this kind of stuff since he’s a guy and all.

Comments

36 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 247: Let me guess .. you’re divorced, right?”

  1. Kelly Avatar
    Kelly

    Is there something about Craigslist that causes people to lose the ability to spell, or does Craigslist attract the illiterate? That might be a little to chicken/egg to be asking on a Sunday morning, but still…

    I wish you had posted his number. That would’ve brought the lulz for sure.

    1. Jerod Poore Avatar
      Jerod Poore

      Craigslist, eBay, any site that is friendly to people of average intelligence will provide you with more examples than you can stomach of misspellings, mystery punctuation and alien syntax.

      Further proof that the majority of communication between most people really is nonverbal.

  2. Clovis Sangrail Avatar
    Clovis Sangrail

    Maybe he had a female teach him how to write? If that’s the case I can see the root of his terrible misogyny.

  3. Lola Avatar
    Lola

    Maybe he’s angry/mysogynistic because he CAN measure … himself … and knows that it’s a number that would inspire comedy/scorn in those of us who can also “mesure”?

  4. Brian Avatar
    Brian

    I love the random slashes in between words that don’t need them, like Fish/Finder… and the apostrophes that are there when not needed, but not there when they ARE needed!
    I feel embarrassed on behalf of all men who know how to spell things like “meAsure” and who know there are women who DO know a lot more than this jerk.

    1. P-rex Avatar
      P-rex

      I don’t get embarrassed by what other people do, just what I do. If what I do is embarrassing, that is.

  5. jackmo Avatar
    jackmo

    haha this site is awesome

  6. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    GYAH! MUST… NOT… GOOGLE… AD… AND TELL THIS JACKASS WHAT FOR! AAAAAH!

  7. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    Sooooo…

    man who can barely type > women who evidently can’t measure (but probably actually can)

    ?

  8. K Avatar
    K

    Ack! That guy lives in the next town over from me! Why?? WHY?? Why must all the nutcases come from Texas?
    I swear… we’re not all whack jobs.

    1. TastyPrawn Avatar
      TastyPrawn

      Aw, it makes me really sad to learn this jerk is from Texas.

      K is right: Not all of us are like this!

    2. dogface Avatar
      dogface

      Well, they aren’t all in Texas, K. Some want to get their crazy on out in Alaska.

  9. Jane Avatar
    Jane

    I think it’d be more fun to get a bunch of men to call up, all buddy-buddy about ignorant women, who then are even more clueless.

  10. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    No, he’s right — women can’t understand this ad. Granted, it’s because it’s written in gibberish…

  11. Lady Carlotta Avatar
    Lady Carlotta

    #2, your name made my day!

  12. captjimmie Avatar
    captjimmie

    Not that it’s very funny, but a propeller is measured by its diameter, in this case 14″, and by how far it would travel through a solid if rotated one time, in this case 19″. Not 19 degrees. Not as smart as he thinks.

  13. Kristy Avatar
    Kristy

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAA

  14. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    HUH?!

  15. ratwoman Avatar
    ratwoman

    Do you think even he understood the ad? I just can’t imagine someone typing it out, reading it through and hitting ‘submit’ without a moment of doubt.

    1. ghostcat Avatar
      ghostcat

      I bet Sparky got his cat to write the ad for him.

      1. Llama Derp Avatar
        Llama Derp

        My cat can do better than that by tapping on the keyboard with her tail and she’s a female!

  16. TacoMagic Avatar
    TacoMagic

    Apparently men/\/can’t be expected to use (punctuation},, correct….

  17. Llama Derp Avatar
    Llama Derp

    I confess, after reading so many poorly spelled ads, I thought he was misspelling Bikini for a moment. I was trying to get my head around those measurements.

  18. D / DM Avatar
    D / DM

    Bere, schole, wiener contest

    Please!!
    iAm look for frend cos dont have none. we cud drink beres and chew schole. I bet I cud spit futher then you. Thanwen we get tired of that {WE} could see who’s wiener is bigger but if its your s you cant be my frend again.
    If u WOMEN doesnt know dont call me. Iv’e never had a woman and dont need one now NEXT!!!

    There, Sparky. I fixed your personal ad for you.

  19. nonsensicalcat Avatar
    nonsensicalcat

    I know nothing.

  20. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Sparky is selling what’s left of the boat after he ran aground because he wouldn’t stop and ask for directions. ZING!

    1. D @ DM . dm Avatar
      D @ DM . dm

      No, he wrecked the boat because he was busy getting his own beer because some WOMEN wasn’t doing her JOB.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        Women goes with their. Woman goes with her. You lose, Dee. 8)

        1. D @ DM . dm Avatar
          D @ DM . dm

          I was speaking Sparklish. More importantly, every now and then I refresh and see the wrong avatar on some people’s comments. Like right now, you’re a rat. Am I the only one having this issue?

        2. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          Yes, only you.

  21. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    Hey Sparky,
    This is Bubba, and no, I’m not thinking picking a free deal.
    I’m here to take you to task.
    You’ve got a boat, some stuff, and it’s cheap. Cheap means low quality and poorly made.
    “low cost to you” might be better. My name is Bubba, B-u-b-b-a, not B-U-b-a. Get it right or don’t ever use my name in one of your ads again!
    Maybe you should have bought a quality education, so you could learn to spell quality, or perhaps Quailty is a brand name I don’t know about. Hmmm?

    (parentheses)Go/2/Marine.com(bracket)(parentheses)West/Marine(bracket)
    Dude! Really? If you open with parentheses, then close with parentheses.

    Your bimini top, look at your measurements. you have 4 dimensions. It’s 88″wide, it’s 56″ high, and it’s 7’x7″ long. Ok, mabe that’s how long you had it on your boat. See above about quality education.

    You’re being a little UNCULAR here.(sorry about that, I can’t pronouns nucular correctly either). You don’t want women that can’t measure to E-mail you. You left a phone number, is it ok if they call you?

    You say your boat propeller is all most new. Most of your propeller is new? What part is used, the 14″, the 19 degs, or the stainless steel?
    “look at most marine shops”. Dude, i do not have time to go traipsing all over the country looking at marine shops.

    You have a fish, a finder, an eagle, an ultra, a classic and maybe a lady. From what I’ve read so far, I’m surprised you used the term “lady”.

    You have a V.H.F Realistic Marine Radio with no V.H.F. Realistic is a brand name. I have a Realistic CB Radio in my truck. Your realistic is an adjective. A V.H.F radio with no V.H.F just looks realistic, but it isn’t really real.

    You have an outboard, a tram, a mount, and it’s great. No mention of an actual boat in the body of the ad. you took the time to measure your bimini top, you even took time to measure the propeller, no boat measurements? Is there really a boat involved here? It says there is in the title. What is not recommended not over 40hp? It should be a boat. Where is it? Maybe your talking about the outboard. Does the hp rating change on this motor?

    Darn, now I’m all irritated. Just forget it, forget I said anything. All I’ve got to say on this subject is: I am so glad I don’t live where you live. I live on the other side of Education.

    Bubba

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      Oops, I misspelled pronounce. Somebody, please take me to task, or to the corner, I don’t have a corner of my own unless I move into my cashew can. I have banana fillet crisps… anyone?

  22. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    I didn’t know hotmail was in [location].

    No wonder those scammers find me so easily.

  23. kelli Avatar
    kelli

    I will not make an “I’m on a boat” comment.

  24. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    [ring] [ring]

    Hello, Sparky?

    This here’s Bubba, that’s right, Bubba.
    Juss read yor ad on Creggslist an I gotta bone to pick with y’all.
    You gots one o’ them bimny tops for sale ansum free stuff.
    But yor ad sez I can’t have enny uvit for free.
    You ‘spec I’m so dumb, I might pay a stoopid fee or sompin?
    Y’all only give free stuff to them there wimmin what’s only white with measurements?
    Well, I aint that dumb, I’ll jess send my ol’ lady over there when she gets done mowin the yard.
    She’s one o’ them white outdoor models. An boy, does she have sum measurements!
    Youc’n give her all that free stuff”n don’t be givin her no lip niether, cuz if”n ya do, she’ll slap you upside the haid so hard yor grampdaddy’ll feel it.
    So I guess I aint so dumb afterall, huh?
    Nice doin bidness witcha Sparky. Heh, heh.

    [click]

  25. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    kelli, the box will feel empty without you! Until I put someone else in there, probably. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Nutt’s Landing!

Leave a Reply

More posts