You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 248: It’s w4m week, bitches!

Written by

drmk

in

A reminder (and plea), folks: if you think the ad you’re sending me might get flagged for removal, copy and paste the ad into your email! If you can include pictures, even better. Quite a few of the w4m ads that folks sent in disappeared between the time they were sent in and the time I got to them.

Actually, it’s a good idea all around — when my job/life gets in the way, sometimes I don’t get to look at listings until a couple of days later, and things do disappear off of Craigslist in that time. (Yes, I have to work! Believe it or not, this ad-free site does not support me in the manner to which I desire to become accustomed. I don’t even have a lucrative book contract. I know, I know … there is no justice in this world.)

Anyway, by the time I got to this one, the ad had been flagged; luckily, Emily had included the text in her email … but sadly, not the picture. Emily’s vivid description helps fill in the mental image, though.

I want to hear from a romantic man.. – 30

some words that describe me are witty, sporty, optimistic, and single.
I am quite sweet, FEMALETRAITS2, FEMALETRAITS3, and FEMALETRAITS4.  I have an hourglass figure, a beautiful face, and a beautiful personality to match!  I am searching for a person who cares what I have to tell them.  Please be sensitive, drama-free and sure of what you are looking for in a woman. If you like what you’ve read then just contactl me and we’ll go from there.

Emily says, “How could any man pass her up? She’s looking for romance, that’s why she’s wearing eyeliner like a 14-year-old who hasn’t figured out the difference between slutty and sexy. And, don’t forget, she possesses not only FEMALETRAITS2 and FEMALETRAITS3, she’s also surprisingly, refreshingly FEMALETRAITS4. If I were a man, I’d “contactl” her right now.”

You know, I can never get the database merge function in Word to work either. (I always end up sending things to FIRSTNAME LASTNAME in CITY, ST.) I’d never have thought about failing to use database merge correctly to spam Craigslist with fake w4m ads. I guess that’s why I don’t earn the big bucks — I have a lack of vision on how to fail.

Edited to add: Since I queued this one up, there have been articles on Reddit (among others) about this very topic … apparently the Database Merge Fail Scenario is exactly what has been happening! If you do a google search for craigslist +femaletrait2, you get a whole pile of results, tons of which point to deleted/flagged Craigslist posts (or those posts aggregated to other sites) from the same stupid spammer.

I’m very, very amused.

Comments

24 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 248: It’s w4m week, bitches!”

  1. Vern Avatar
    Vern

    I’ve been looking at CL personals for a while because I’m actually hoping (ridiculous, huh) that something catches my eye. I see so many ads in quotation marks. Who writes an ad beginning and ending with quotation marks? They get flagged immediately.

  2. fancypants Avatar
    fancypants

    bots, bots, bots. so easy to pick out when they post!

  3. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    I would wait until FEMALETRAITS5 – I hear that’s the version that worked out a lot of the bugs.

    lol

    but seriously, can someone tell me why a spammer would flood CL with personal ads? what do they get out of it?

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      Email addresses. (Of horny, lonely men who might want to buy some V|46r4 or C|4LI5.)

      1. Courtney Avatar
        Courtney

        Jinx? lol.

    2. Courtney Avatar
      Courtney

      A valid e-mail address. They can send all of those lovely spams about viagra and penile enlargements.

    3. Colleen in MA Avatar
      Colleen in MA

      ah, I understand now. thanks for clearing that up. it’s a freaky world out there, ain’t it!

  4. frenchnstuff Avatar
    frenchnstuff

    This makes me wonder why it’s necessary to have a database for this kind of spam. Every site I found commenting on this spam error has FEMALETRAITS2, FEMALETRAITS3, and FEMALETRAITS4. A program that inserts adjectives when there are only 3 female traits listed in the database is a little overkill isn’t it?

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      My guess is that there’s an array or lookup table that FEMALETRAITS2, FEMALETRAITS3 and FEMALETRAITS4 refer to. There’s probably a large number of adjectives there, and what happens is that FEMALETRAITS2 picks one, inserts it, and then makes it unavailable in the array so that FEMALETRAITS3 and 4 don’t select the same adjective. I don’t think it’s a one-to-one correspondence, where FEMALETRAITS2 always = “pretty” or something like that.

      The other thing to wonder about is this: if they’ve done this for w4m ads, have they also done this for m4w ads? Or m4m ads?

      1. CapnMac Avatar
        CapnMac

        Lookup table is the best Help search phrase using Office.
        However, Office has a terrible methodology for executing a “for each” type of database lookup. Which may be what leaves these spams sprung. In a recursive programing language, like LISP, you get to iterate these things without recourse to an incrementing integer.

        As to the second question, the only reason that the dog2cat, marmuset2rodentia, etc., are not also being spammed would be in CL’s failing to have those categories . . . yet.

        Oops, that should have [corey][/corey]

  5. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    Hey, baby, I live in the North End of OPEN PROXY DETECTED. If you were my sweetheart, I’d wine and dine you in the finest restaurants in all of beautiful downtown OPEN PROXY DETECTED.

  6. ghostcat Avatar
    ghostcat

    I am searching for a person who cares what I have to tell them.

    What a coincidence – so am I!

    :gets out pamphlets:

    Have you heard the good news about the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

    1. funky "eMonkey" monkey Avatar
      funky “eMonkey” monkey

      Wow, Ghostie, you’re a Pastafarian?

      *wheels up huge suitcase on wheels, gets out copy of the Watchtower*

      Have you heard Jehovah’s message?

      1. ghostcat Avatar
        ghostcat

        No, but I’ll check my voice mail when I get home.

      2. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        Funky, you’re only making it worse! 8)

  7. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    I want to hear from a romantic…whatever – 30

    some words that describe me are kinky, slimy, androgynous, and single.
    I am quite sweaty, FEMALETRAITS2, MALETRAITS1, and HERMAPHRODITETRAITS3. I have a beer glass figure, a Clairol face, and a beautiful personality is too much too ask! I am searching for a person who isn’t scared by what I have to show them. Please be assertive, have leather and sure of what you are looking for in a woman/man. If you like what you’ve read then just contactl me and we’ll go from there.

  8. Bavec Avatar
    Bavec

    Shall I compare thee to a SEASON1’s day?
    Thou art more FEMALETRAITS2 and more FEMALETRAITS3.

    1. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      She has an ‘hourglass figure’ whose sands have shifted.

    2. TacoMagic Avatar
      TacoMagic

      Welp, time to get a rag and clean the water off my monitor.

  9. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Dear Craigslist Bot,

    You totally VERB. Your grasp of basic NOUN, PLURAL that people find ADJECTIVE is non-existent. Were you programed by a lame OCCUPATION with delusions of competency? Get off my Inter-NOUN, PLURAL!

    Sincerely, FEMALETRAITS10- Rose.

    1. HamCan Avatar
      HamCan

      I thought it was frowned upon for women to have wind and a trait…??

      🙂

  10. Digitalaxis Avatar
    Digitalaxis

    At least they got the age right. It’s so embarassing when they realize you’re ERROR: FLOATING POINT OVERFLOW years old.

  11. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Taco and LL, you should be self-punching by now. I’ll walk you through it one more time. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, SkyNet!

    1. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      We have a standing reservation at the pugilist arena.

      But, Taco made them cry, last time.

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