You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: Turing test = fail

  • YSaC, Vol. 1642: Worst baby name list ever.

    Olive Edith Zola Koa Beatrice Chamois Petal Cindy Urna Lila – 19

    Arnold Cypress Merlin Puck Luke Mike,Mikey Dickens Kokamo Magic Hamlet Jock Fletcher Comet Falcon Basil Hobbit Morley Mako Gusevik Zog Elwood Fighter Bubby Friday Dalton Wiggles Houdini Juice Harper Piranha Kegger Bellamy Norman Wolfer Durango Micha Davinci Rusty Paloma Cowboy Flipper Cujo Joe Zepplin Horus Caliber Patches Felix Rooney Pylon Ronin Matera Bean Hunter Wiley Zephyr Fender Atlas Moose Loki Hart Funky Zeb

    I give this four stars. I want to give it five, but the third act was slow and a little hard to follow. Also the use of the deus ex machina to resolve the central conflict was a bit of a cheat. So really it’s only worth three stars, now that I think about it. And even that might be a bit generous. I mean, they introduce “Piranha” about halfway through and never develop the character at all. And you can see the twist ending with “Zeb” coming a mile away. So maybe only one star, minus one-half star for the comma splice and lack of punctuation.

    Thanks, Mike!

  • YSaC, Vol. 453: [Error: age must be a real number.]

    Summer fun with your Daughter? – w4m

    Hi, New to area, looking for open-minded man for some fun. I am ”’ lb. and have ish hair and blue eyes. Would like to find a play mate for kinky role playing encounters for my boyfriend and I , must be open-minded. Looking for someone who loves to recieve oral and give facials! Those with a pic on profile will get first response. Would prefer them to be local and with in the age limit of

    Aunty Christ sends this ad in, saying, “This is great because (1) The headline alone is priceless. But the idea of “summer fun with your daughter” in conjunction with kinky role playing, facials, and oral is pretty gag-worthy. (2) I have ish hair too! We will get along wonderfully. (3) This was posted in “strictly platonic.” Someone needs to explain some words to some people. Or ‘people.’ “

  • YSaC, Vol. 413: The only dance she can do is the robot, though.

    Bit of a dreamer – 21

    So.
    I am a very down to earth, FEMALETRAITS2 and kind girl who loves to kiss and cuddle.  I love going out to dance – it’s a great way to interact with someone special, and burns lots of calories!  I’m looking for someone who can make me laugh, which isn’t very hard to do.  .  Let me know if your interested.
    413

    Hooray! The FEMALETRAITS spambot is back! They seem to have gotten a little bit better at it; this one is almost comprehensible! The picture with the Skeletor mask is a little … odd, and there seems to be a sentence missing before the lone random period, but for the most part it’s an improvement. Congratulations, FEMALETRAIT2 spambot guys!

    And of course, I can’t make a spambot post without making a plug for one of my favorite live-action readings of a spambot ad. (Not that I know of any others, mind you.)

    Thanks to “Not From Ithaca” for the submission!

    Oooh, bonus update, just sent in …

    Girl next door with a wild side – 19

    I am Music, Guitars, Drums, Food, Shopping, Social Drinking, No smoking, Quirky, Outgoing, Easy going, Camping, Hikes, and Nature, The beach, Phone conversations. I also like to the meet new peoples and making new friends around me. I love the pet animal. I spend my mostly with my family and friends.
    413b

    What do you think? Spambot? Or idiot? (Or both?)
    [poll id=”5″]

    Thanks to Brett for sending this one in (five minutes ago!) … I am online, thinking, being, posting, sitting, doing. I also like to receive the new posts and making new posts around me!

  • YSaC, Vol. 365: I’m sorry, Dave, I can’t do Kathryn.

    Fabulous girl – w4m (las vegas )

    <Judy
    Name Kathryn
    Age Years

    Poor Kathryn. She’s always getting compared to Judy. Even non-sentient computers are doing it now.

    Wait, I’m confused. Which one’s fabulous? If Judy is fabulous, what does that make Kathryn? And if Kathryn is fabulous, what superlative does that leave for Judy?

    Less than Judy would be a awesome name for a band, though.

    Submitted by Doug — thanks!

    And just in case you haven’t seen it yet, be sure to check out the live video version of one our earlier spambot postings — it’s so worth it.

  • Update to YSaC, Vol. 333: Database fail LIVE!

    A while back I posted this shining example of when spambots go hilariously awry, featuring this post:

    The craigs list – 34

    Hello. I am an MAN looking for an WOMAN who is LAID BACK. I am 21 years old and I like to WATERSKIING and also to CAMPING. I am a good sense of humor with a fun and tall.

    My favorite movies are TITANIC, FRIED GREEN TOMATOES, and [ERROR: MOVIE NOT FOUND], but I’m not into chick flicks.

    I like to take my dog, MIFFY in the back seet of my HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTOR CYCLE. Maybe you would like to ride with us?

    My favorite music bands are ABBA, AC//DC, and AIROSMITH.

    336

    Not content to leave awful enough alone, boyofutica has turned this post into a live-action dating video:

    This. Is. Awesome. The rubber duckie bit at the end made me cry with laughter. Thank you!!

  • YSaC, Vol. 341: Have you tried AFF? They suck too.

    Flying solo is not as much fun – w4w – 21

    Well, this’ll be my last post over here … I’m going to head to clerotic.org if it doesn’t work out.

    I am a 26 year old, single female looking for a friendship that might develop into something more. I am an elementary school teacher and I love children and hope to have some of my own one day. I am looking for a good man with good, Christian morals who would like to have a family and live happily ever after when he meets the right woman. Maybe we are right for each other. We will never know if we don’t take a chance.

    1. Are you 21, or 26?
    2. Headline says w4w, text says you’re looking for a man.
    3. A good Christian man with good morals.
    4. And if you can’t find him, you’re going to try posting on clerotic.org — the “Craigslist Alternative for Erotic Services”.

    That sounds like a great plan. I’m sure you’ll find a good Christian man with good morals with THIS ad … and if not, I’m sure clerotic.org will work out, since there’s only 482 ads in the section for your area, 480 of which are w4m. (The other 2 are m4m.)

    Do you think this might possibly — just maybe? — be a fake ad? (On CRAIGSLIST? Say it ain’t so!) I’m guessing it’s meant to drive traffic to clerotic.org … because, you know, that’s where all the good, moral, Christian elementary school teachers are hanging out these days.

    C’mon, guys. At least make it plausible. “I’m a hot, horny slut and if I can’t find anyone here I’m going to clerotic.org.” THAT’S plausible. (Well, as plausible as believing that a nubile hot young thing would be posting on Craigslist in order to hook up with someone, anyway.) “I’m a good Christian 2nd grade teacher and if this doesn’t work out I’m going to browse clerotic.org from the computer in the school library?” Not so much.

    Sigh. Do I need a tag for spambots, too?

    Thanks to Kiersten for the submission!