You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 413: The only dance she can do is the robot, though.

Written by

drmk

in

Bit of a dreamer – 21

So.
I am a very down to earth, FEMALETRAITS2 and kind girl who loves to kiss and cuddle.  I love going out to dance – it’s a great way to interact with someone special, and burns lots of calories!  I’m looking for someone who can make me laugh, which isn’t very hard to do.  .  Let me know if your interested.
413

Hooray! The FEMALETRAITS spambot is back! They seem to have gotten a little bit better at it; this one is almost comprehensible! The picture with the Skeletor mask is a little … odd, and there seems to be a sentence missing before the lone random period, but for the most part it’s an improvement. Congratulations, FEMALETRAIT2 spambot guys!

And of course, I can’t make a spambot post without making a plug for one of my favorite live-action readings of a spambot ad. (Not that I know of any others, mind you.)

Thanks to “Not From Ithaca” for the submission!

Oooh, bonus update, just sent in …

Girl next door with a wild side – 19

I am Music, Guitars, Drums, Food, Shopping, Social Drinking, No smoking, Quirky, Outgoing, Easy going, Camping, Hikes, and Nature, The beach, Phone conversations. I also like to the meet new peoples and making new friends around me. I love the pet animal. I spend my mostly with my family and friends.
413b

What do you think? Spambot? Or idiot? (Or both?)
[poll id=”5″]

Thanks to Brett for sending this one in (five minutes ago!) … I am online, thinking, being, posting, sitting, doing. I also like to receive the new posts and making new posts around me!

Comments

41 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 413: The only dance she can do is the robot, though.”

  1. Caro Avatar
    Caro

    From the angle of the photo, her FEMALETRAITS2 are mismatched.

  2. MoxieHart Avatar
    MoxieHart

    So that’s what death looks like?

    1. corn flakes Avatar
      corn flakes

      gives a new meaning to “flirting with death”

  3. neverfirst Avatar
    neverfirst

    FEMALETRAITS2= headlessness.

  4. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    FEMALETRAITS2= makes me laugh. .

  5. SoundsLikeVla Avatar
    SoundsLikeVla

    If FEMALETRAITS2=headlessness, what is FEMALETRAITS1? Booblessness? Better to go with FEMALETRATS2 in a personal ad…

  6. frigglesnitz Avatar
    frigglesnitz

    I am looking, reading, smirking, giggling, laughing, coffee-spraying the monitor with my pet animals. Now commenting at the peoples easy-going.
    Also loving at the bots.

  7. Bridgete Avatar
    Bridgete

    I love the pet animal too. We’re talking about Animal from the Muppets, right?

    1. Lola Avatar
      Lola

      Hey, Animal is great if you need a drummer or someone to party with (and can’t get a … person below normal height to respond to your ad), but do you really want him as a pet? You couldn’t leave him alone in the house!

  8. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    The second ad, cleaned up:

    I love live music, cooking, shopping, camping, hiking, the beach, animals, chatting on the phone with my friends, social drinking (but I don’t smoke).

    Quirky, outgoing, easygoing. I spend my time mostly with my family and friends, but I also like to meet new people and make new friends.

    Lovely!

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      See, spammers? Was that that hard?

  9. Terra Firm-uhhh Avatar
    Terra Firm-uhhh

    Every time I place an ad on CL for FemaleTraits2, all I get is spam from CockEnlargementSuggestion4.

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      At least you know where to find condoms if their suggestions work!

  10. BassBone Avatar
    BassBone

    I spend my mostly reading You Suck at Craigslist.

  11. Cazio Avatar
    Cazio

    I prefer to think that “I like to meet new peoples,” is accurate, and that she enjoys roaming the world, looking for small, undiscovered tribes.

    1. Fraulein N Avatar
      Fraulein N

      Where my peoples at?!

  12. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    That was weird.
    Even if the ad was written coherently and not a bot, i’m not sure if i want to date a half-naked skeletor.
    I wont rule it out, but i am skeptical.

    1. MoxieHart Avatar
      MoxieHart

      That is so Skeletorist.

  13. ainebegonia Avatar
    ainebegonia

    Am I the only one entranced by the guy’s tie in the second picture?

    1. Hiyame Avatar
      Hiyame

      The second picture is a little iffy… I mean, this girl definitely looks like the girl described in the spam bot post, so good on them. But goodness… What an odd picture to choose… I love the tie. ^^ Very… pink?

    2. MoxieHart Avatar
      MoxieHart

      I’m just entranced by the guy in general. Who is he? Where are they? Is that a chip clip in the foreground?

      1. corn flakes Avatar
        corn flakes

        I actually feel bad for the real girls in stuff like this.
        Somebody somewhere had a flicker/facebook/myspace/etc. picture stolen and used for spam ads.
        Hate to be capt. buzzkill, just thinking aloud.

        1. MoxieHart Avatar
          MoxieHart

          It does suck. I posted artwork to my Myspace page once. I happened to be friends with my bosses who owned a gallery and their account got hacked and somehow, in some magical computer way. everyone they had friended got hacked. So somehow these spammers put up this weird porn video on my Myspace page that started with my portrait of Emily Dickinson. Very weird and upsetting at the moment.

  14. j Avatar
    j

    Was that second ad written by a spambot or Borat?

  15. ??? Avatar
    ???

    “I love going out to dance – it’s a great way to interact with someone special, and burns lots of calories!”

    Is that why she’s standing on a bathroom scale in the picture?

    There was an anorexic girl at college we nicknamed “Skeletor,”* it’s good to see she has filled out some…

    *(In retrospect, that was an ATROCIOUS thing to do, but very accurate…)

  16. that frood Avatar
    that frood

    …and the robo-boogie. She can do two kinds of dances.

  17. SeaD Avatar
    SeaD

    Oh. My. God. This post make me laugh so hard it hurts. All the comments just put me over the edge, and I need a doctor now. I’m in so much pain I can’t even begin to make a funny coomment.

  18. Wings Avatar
    Wings

    You missed Option D – this is really Robin Williams reviving his Mrs. Doubtfire role… “I…am…job.”

  19. Mrphysic Avatar
    Mrphysic

    I just have to say regarding the first post WITTYCOMMENT3 and did anyone else notice RANDOMDETAIL5 – what’s up with that?

    Of course the second post reminds me of OBSCURECELEB18, it’s just like that time when FAMILYGUYREFERENCE774, Giggity Giggity!

  20. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    I’m just wondering if the people they got these photos from like that they have FEMALETRAIT2 and pet animals.

  21. Chagnasty Avatar
    Chagnasty

    Reminds me of the Futurama episode with the Lucy Liu-bot.

    Oh, Bit of a dreamer- 21, your hair smells of wildflowers on a warm spring morning, your skin is as smooth as the polished marble of the venus de milo, your eyes are as beautiful as ROMANTICIMAGE3 NOT FOUND.

    Question- do you have to register her on the first date or do you get a trial period?

  22. RequiredName Avatar
    RequiredName

    Yay! A poll! I love polls! They make me feel so important.

  23. Katy Avatar
    Katy

    This is what happens when you take the little poetry magnets from your fridge and try to make them into a w4m ad.

  24. Count Blah Avatar
    Count Blah

    So “kind” and “down to earth” are apparently FEMALETRAITs. I wonder what the bot has in its database of MALETRAITs? “Gaseous”? “Pedantic”? “Hairy”?

  25. DanTM Avatar
    DanTM

    This ad brought out the poet in me.

    I’ve search all of Craigslist to find a girl like you,
    You’re kind and you’re sensible and FEMALETRAITS2,
    I can make you laugh cuz I guess it’s easy to do,
    Don’t care ’bout your face, though, cuz check out those boobs!

    1. mel Avatar
      mel

      Bravo! But isn’t it “you’re face”
      (and ‘your kind and your sensitive’)

  26. Legion, for we are many Avatar
    Legion, for we are many

    Can the guy who did the Live Action rendering of the MAN LOOKING CL ad please please PLEASE do a version of the second ad? It would make my weekend.

  27. kris Avatar
    kris

    I’m thinking that is a baseball cap with a skull on it, not a mask… still very odd.

  28. DooeyD Avatar
    DooeyD

    Does anyone else think there’s something very Walt Whitman-y about that second ad? “I am music, guitars, drums, etc.” And old Walt loved the pet animal as well. I’m not sure whether he spent his mostly with his family and friends, though. And I can’t put any more thought into it, because I’m too distracted by that yellow shirt. It looks somehow like she’s wearing it… sideways.

  29. My Evil Twin Avatar
    My Evil Twin

    I’m thinking the second message probably isn’t a spambot, because of “I also like to the meet new peoples […]” doesn’t really have an appropriate “insert.”

    I also like to [LIKEITEM1] = I also like to [meet new people], I also like to [motorcycles], I also like to [the movies]; but I also like to [the meet new people]? Doesn’t even make sense from a badly-used spam message point of view.

    I vote for someone very, very bad at English that wasn’t paying very much attention (or possibly having imbibed too much vodka).
    Of course, it could be a spammer taking spam ineptitude to a whole new level.

  30. Charlie Michelle Avatar
    Charlie Michelle

    Jesus, every time I see the link to the Spambot Live Reading, I always have to go watch it. I can usually get through the whole thing straightfaced, but the second the duck comes out, I damn near laugh myself into an asthma attack.

    Thanks for the giggles.

    CM

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