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YSaC, Vol. 365: I’m sorry, Dave, I can’t do Kathryn.

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drmk

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Fabulous girl – w4m (las vegas )

<Judy
Name Kathryn
Age Years

Poor Kathryn. She’s always getting compared to Judy. Even non-sentient computers are doing it now.

Wait, I’m confused. Which one’s fabulous? If Judy is fabulous, what does that make Kathryn? And if Kathryn is fabulous, what superlative does that leave for Judy?

Less than Judy would be a awesome name for a band, though.

Submitted by Doug — thanks!

And just in case you haven’t seen it yet, be sure to check out the live video version of one our earlier spambot postings — it’s so worth it.

Comments

62 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 365: I’m sorry, Dave, I can’t do Kathryn.”

  1. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    Oh God. Less than Judy.

    Judy is my husband’s ex-wife’s name.

    Stupid computer.

  2. kaila Avatar
    kaila

    At least her age is in years. It could be decades or centuries which would be awkward.

  3. drbtx1 Avatar
    drbtx1

    I could care less about her age. Is she femaletrait1? or just femaletrait2?

  4. kelli Avatar
    kelli

    I’m guessing that Kathryn is the fabulous girl, but she’s less fabulous than Judy. Thank goodness her age is in years, minutes would be much harder to calculate

  5. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    It’s Las Vegas. It’s all fabulous.

  6. cody Avatar
    cody

    I had a similar problem when I posted looking for a spouse. Unfortunately I was always < Jake

    But people always asked me why I let ska die…

    1. jackie31337 Avatar
      jackie31337

      I was going to mention less than jake, but you beat me to it.

  7. jam979 Avatar
    jam979

    How would Less Than Judy compare to Better Than Ezra?

    1. dogface Avatar
      dogface

      Well, we do know that Judy ≠ Ezra.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        So, if Kathryn is less than Judy, and Judy does not equal Ezra, could Kathryn BE Ezra? Will I take a pounding for that one? 8)

        1. Doug Avatar
          Doug

          Wow, I didn’t know this would turn into a math problem!

        2. ??? Avatar
          ???

          Ha, Ezra Pound!

          Sadly, this was my first reaction. Sorry, literature geek.

  8. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    YSaC > Judy

    1. Ladycrim Avatar
      Ladycrim

      OK, I think I’ve got this now …

      YSaC>Judy>Jake>Kathryn>Ezra>Spambots

      1. kelli Avatar
        kelli

        I believe it’s YSaC>Erza>Judy>Jake>Kathryn>Sparkys>Spambots

  9. Monica Avatar
    Monica

    This is like some math problem on crack…

    <judy
    Name kathryn
    age years

    Find x

    1. Steph Avatar
      Steph

      X

      Look! There it is!

  10. Smedley Avatar
    Smedley

    Whenever I see the name Judy, I can’t resist the urge to spout that tired old Cary Grant line: “Judy, Judy, Judy.”

    I just finished reading the entire xkcd archives. The mouseovers were maddening. Thanks, Mindfield. I would like a print of the “Windmill”. And many of the romantic ones. And now to sleep, perchance to sleep.

    1. Lara Avatar
      Lara

      You are awesome Smedley. I love that movie.

      Edit: I thought I loved that movie until I read it was never actually in any movies. I wonder what the hell I was thinking of.

      Edit Edit: I think I may have been thinking of Bringing Up Baby for some reason but there are no Judys in that. Ah well. That was a good movie at least. My mom is named Judy does that help?

      1. Lara Avatar
        Lara

        *derp*

        1. HamCan Avatar
          HamCan
  11. Dave and the ferret Avatar
    Dave and the ferret

    I was reading Less than Zero with “More than This” playing on the radio in the background when it hit me how much less than Judy we all are.

  12. kelli Avatar
    kelli

    From now on whenever I am asked my age, I will answer years.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      And probably less years than Judy!

      1. Lara Avatar
        Lara

        or >Kathryn?

        1. HamCan Avatar
          HamCan

          Kathryn the Great-er than Judy?

        2. Lara Avatar
          Lara

          Darn it HamCan, you changed it and now my pithy response doesn’t work.

    2. Dave and the ferret Avatar
      Dave and the ferret

      Do you think the DMV will let me have that on my driver’s license?

  13. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    Hey Judy!


    Hey Judy you’re less than Kate
    It’s a sad fact, but she is better
    Remember her sum is more than your parts
    Then you can start to apply makeup better

    Hey Judy don’t be afraid
    You were told to go out and get surgery
    The minute the doc gets under your skin
    Then you begin to make it better

    And any time you feel the pain, Hey Judy, morphine
    Don’t put that bag upon your shoulders
    For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool
    By making her boobs a little bolder
    Da da da da da
    da da da da

    Hey Judy don’t let me down
    You have rounder ones now go and get her
    Remember to let them out, your parts
    Then you can start to make it better

    So nip it out and tuck it in
    Hey Judy begin
    You’re waiting for someone to perform it
    And don’t you know that it’s just you
    Hey Judy you won’t do
    The movement you need is on your shoulder knees

    Da da da da da
    da da da da Yeah

    Hey Judy you’re less than Kate
    It’s a sad fact, but she is better
    Remember her sum is more than your parts
    Then you can start to apply makeup better
    Better, better, better, better, better, Yeah,Yeah,Yeah

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Hammy, you know my weakness for Beatles songs!

    2. Addicted Reader Avatar
      Addicted Reader

      Awesome.

  14. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    A llama, a cat, and a bear dog walked into a box.

    1. HamCan Avatar
      HamCan

      And the shoes said, “Does this look like an ark?”

      1. Lara Avatar
        Lara

        And the welder said, “no but this does!” That’s how the box burned down. Good work HamCan, you burned the box down.

        1. HamCan Avatar
          HamCan

          Ummm, “The Box” is flame retardant…just ask Bombdude.

        2. Lara Avatar
          Lara

          Oh yea!? Well the cake is a lie!

        3. kelli Avatar
          kelli

          Especially if it is carrot cake.

        4. Astrognash Avatar
          Astrognash

          Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111elebenty!!!!!!

          But we still get chocolate pudding pie, right?

        5. Addicted Reader Avatar
          Addicted Reader

          PUDDING NOT ON FIRE!!!

          I’m not even sure what that means, but it seems to be the standard response around here.

        6. Astrognash Avatar
          Astrognash

          A Google search of the phrase indicates it to be an original Tacoism.

        7. Addicted Reader Avatar
          Addicted Reader

          Either I missed the comments that would make it make sense, or it never did and it’s just something fun to shout.

          I’m voting for option B.

        8. HamCan Avatar
          HamCan

          PECIL!

    2. Camille Avatar
      Camille

      I don’t think I’ve ever been in a box with a llama and a cat before. It sounds like a Dr. Seuss story is about to begin. Or possibly Richard Scarry. (“What Do People Do All Day In the Box”).

      Fortunately, my dog thinks cats are the world’s most wondrous creatures. I’m not sure what she thinks of llamas, but I will explain to her about our beneficent overlords, bees be upon them, and she will probably be OK with it.

      1. ghostcat Avatar
        ghostcat

        I don’t think I’ve been this close to a bear dog or the Llamanun (BBUH) before.

    3. Smedley Avatar
      Smedley

      And they all said “Ow!”

      1. Addicted Reader Avatar
        Addicted Reader

        Aww, I was gonna use that line!

        I guess all that’s left for me to say is:

        “And the bartender said, ‘What is this, good snark?’”

  15. Lara Avatar
    Lara

    I’m having trouble with this one. I think maybe my snark is off for the weekend.

    1. Camille Avatar
      Camille

      I didn’t know snark was supposed to get weekends off. Apparently I’ve been mistreating mine.

    2. Addicted Reader Avatar
      Addicted Reader

      Is your snark <Judy?

      1. Astrognash Avatar
        Astrognash

        I think all of us have snark which is >Judy.

  16. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    If Lucy is in the sky with diamonds and Judy is in disguise with glasses , what is left for Kathryn?

    1. Camille Avatar
      Camille

      In the box with bees?

    2. CoffDrop Avatar
      CoffDrop

      Kathryn as Justin Bieber…….

  17. SilvaNoir Avatar
    SilvaNoir

    Off-topic: Taco, dunno if you’re here to see this today, but thought you’d appreciate this

    PIXEL COFFEE

  18. nonsensicalcat Avatar
    nonsensicalcat

    I want you all to know that I am >Judy.

  19. CapnMac Avatar
    CapnMac

    If I assert [person] < Judy does that = Judge?

    (Make a person Dread Scott She-canna-tak’any’mor, Capn! the responses, too)

    1. Addicted Reader Avatar
      Addicted Reader

      That was awful. Thanks for the chuckle. 🙂

  20. Astrognash Avatar
    Astrognash

    OT: I just want to pop in and check and learn how all the other North Carolinian snarkers are doing? Everyone alright?

    1. jg Avatar
      jg

      I’m in Virginia, and we had a lot of bad t-storms but no tornadoes. Hope everyone in NC is ok. Glad you’re ok, sending good vibes to ghostcat that she’s all right too.

      1. ghostcat Avatar
        ghostcat

        The storms pretty much missed us; a lot of heavy rain, some branches down, that sort of thing. The cats, for the most part, were terrified and hid during the worse of it, Firefly just curled up on the photon and took a nap.

  21. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    I just dropped in to Punchity Punch Punch Ghostcat and Camille. And to gently bestow a punched card on the Llama-nun.

    G’Night, Horfield!

  22. Bard Judith Avatar
    Bard Judith

    Oi, freaky!

    MY name is Judy. And my seven-year-old daughter’s name is (note spelling) Katherine. I can assure you:

    Katherine > Judy where CUTE / EYELASHES / RANDOMNESS / ENERGY / NUMBER OF CLOTHING ITEMS WHICH ARE PINK = factor

    However, Judy > Katherine where AGE / EDUCATION / LITERACY / HEIGHT / ALAS, WEIGHT / WIT = factor.

    Let’s just be clear about these things, shall we?

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