YSaC, Vol. 254: $5 *is* a lot of money to invest in yourself.
Im looking to sell myself, but dont wana pay 5 bux – 27 (wherever u are)
Did you know that to post in “Erotic Services” you need to pay 5 bucks, AND a phone confirmation!! Im trying to make money, not spend it! So basically the truth is, a couple nights ago I watched “American Gigalo” with Richard Gere.. You remember that one? In it, Richard plays the role of a lifetime, where he basically lounges around all day by the pool, waiting for his shift to start.. And his job is simple-Look good in a tux.So I thought, why not. I look good in a tux RIGHT?
So I came here to craigslist to post myself Richy Gere style, but was shocked to see that in order to post, u gota spend FIVE DOLLARS!! WHAT!?
Plus, I didn’t see one single dood in the erotic services sooooooo……..
if you’re going to that dinner with tha mayor tonight..Don’t hesitate to, first buy me a tuxedo, then call me up.My name is Julian. Prices may vary. [spelled out area code], five hundred fourteen, [number] thousand [number] hundred [number]-nine
Overall, this is a great plan. There’s just a few problems with it that I’d like to address:
- You aren’t Richard Gere.
- Posing by someone else’s Mercedes is not classy.
- If you’re going to be a gigolo, you should really own your own tux.
Other than that, I can’t see a single problem with this plan.
I think I should start a “what could possibly go wrong?” tag. Or does “this can only end badly” cover it?
“Don’t blame us, we only discovered it”?? Does this apply to him because he is Italian? Or because he thinks because the Italian word ‘gigalo'[sic] needs some clarification? Or because he doesn’t want the blame for the moral decadence of this country, to which he is adding?
Yeah, he’s not exactly clear on world history, either, is he?
Plus, the vikings discovered America first, obviously discounting the indigenous people, as most people tend to do.
Is that the best photo of himself he could find??? Smirky look, zit on the chin, unshaven… basically looking like a doofus. I would so give him a call to accompany me to Mayor’s Dinner – NOT!
Yeah, from that photo I don’t think he would be seeing anything close to that 5 bucks back had he spent it.
Well, it seems only fitting that for dinner with ‘tha Mayor’ I’d want a ‘dood’ as a date. If I were attending a diner with a regular mayor whose title isn’t preceded by a misspelled definite article I could just take any old guy.
Also, I have to say that I *LOVE* your handle, Clovis Sangrail! Finding other fans of Saki in unexpected places is so fun.
It’s not a zit, it’s a love pustule!
I don’t know, man. What’s worth five bucks? I mean I’d sort of resent even paying five bucks for five bucks, but I could probably be haggled up to $4.95 if I were feeling slightly homosexual in an emotionally needy way.
On second thoughts what am I talking about. I’m confused and naked and alone and this feels like the end of everything forever.
Cool story, bro.
Prices may vary? Is that a more evasive way of saying “If you’re fat and ugly, you’re gonna have to pay extra”?
I think that’s more of a way of saying that you pay by the service. OK, now that I’ve said that, I really need to go take a shower. Or three.
That makes sense. I was hoping that this prat would take his sense of entitlement to the next level. Or maybe it’s a combination of both? I don’t think a dip in a vat of boiling Lysol will wash the sleaze from my brain…
Nothing says class like a guido-style track suit. I guess “Sopranos-chic” is making a comeback.
And where is he that there is a RV parked every 2-3 feet?
And when did i miss that Christopher Columbus was Italian?
Or Pilgrams.
Also the spacing is really random. Multiple spaces or no space after periods, random line-breaks, etc.
For the record, Christopher Columbus was Italian. As was Amerigo Vespucci, for whom America gets its name. So, he’s got that going for him at least.
Ha, I was typing this in reply almost verbatim and then scrolled down.
Of course, but neither one was really the first to discover the New World .. which is why their dead explorer cards decrease in value.
When I have dinner with the Mayor I always look for a date on CL. What’s wrong with that?
My first thought was: “Why doesn’t this have an ‘Unrealistic Expectations’ tag?!
Love the site, I should be working but I’ve been reading for 2 hours now. I don’t want to be a d-bag, but I am a car fan, and I just wanted to let you know that’s a Caddy, not a Merc.
Hey, Julian, let me be your first, ahem, customer. The next time I have dinner with the Mayor, I will gladly pay you to stay away. Price may vary.