You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 253: Well, that’s a shock.

Written by

drmk

in

Green Microfiber Sofa – $200

Paid over $2400 new, but then my precious dog had an accident with the arm rest. Easy fix!
$200 firm, no delivery

248

Don’t you hate it when your dog accidentally shreds the armrest of your couch? I mean, there he goes about his doggy day, doing his doggy thing, and then all of a sudden, he trips and completely shreds the upholstery.

Luckily it’s an easy fix that just involves reupholstering the entire couch.

I hope the dog doesn’t “accidentally” shred the electrical cords that the owners have so thoughtfully left out and exposed right near the dog bed. I mean, it’s not like the dog has ever chewed on anything before, right?

Comments

36 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 253: Well, that’s a shock.”

  1. Jami Avatar
    Jami

    i wonder what other cute little surprises this dog has left around the house that the owner has just, you know, left out all over the floor. it’s so much more important to take a picture of said dog than it is it to clean up all the mess.

    oh, and PS, maybe they can use the $200 for some obedience training, mmkay?

  2. D / DM Avatar
    D / DM

    Easy fix: buy this couch, then, since it is completely destroyed, throw it away and buy a new one.

    And FYI, dogs don’t chew wires. Cats do. Dogs are smart enough to destroy things you care about without killing themselves in the process.

    1. Jane Avatar
      Jane

      Unfortunately, some dogs do chew wires. Evidently this one wasn’t interested since he had a whole sofa Kong.

      1. mud "" slicker Avatar
        mud “” slicker

        No, that’s “whole sofa king Kong.”

    2. eeyore19 Avatar
      eeyore19

      My dog has chewed up speaker wires and the cable box wire (twice). So, yeah…dogs do that, too.

    3. Dete Avatar
      Dete

      Both of the controllers for our N64 beg to differ.

  3. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    I bet they chewed up the couch themselves in a drunken stupor and decided to make their dog the fall man.

    1. KPod Avatar
      KPod

      Oh this is a set up for sure! The trail of debris leading from the sofa to the dog bed, the dog sitting there looking guilty (“who’s a guilty girl? who is?”), the lack of any other photos of the – presumably – intact part of the sofa? All indicate an elaborate ruse to rid themselves of an old, rotten, beat up sofa for $200.

  4. leftyfro Avatar
    leftyfro

    I love the photo. I mean, document the damage, and the one involved in the accident. The dog even has a sorry type appearance. He’s pleading with you, “Help out my master, as I had a tragic accident.”

  5. Regina Avatar
    Regina

    I think they included the dog more prominently in the photo than the couch in hopes that someone will insist on adopting him.

  6. cf Avatar
    cf

    1. I’m amazed by the balls of the people to still ask for 200$. I recently gave away a couch on craigslist in perfect shape just because it was old and people have enough options not to pay for a 30 year old couch.

    2. How stupid can they be to buy a 2.5k couch before knowing if their dog is prone to eating furniture. Indoor pets and expensive furniture never mix!

  7. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    my head hurts

  8. Yutolia Avatar
    Yutolia

    Well, at least whoever it is wasn’t trying to get rid of the dog…

    Sometimes I have to force myself to look at the bright side of these things. *Pounds head against desk.

  9. linda Avatar
    linda

    no numb nuts .The easy fix is gettin rid of the untrained dog! the couch is trash. invest in a good trainer please.

  10. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    Indoor Border Collie = bad plan

  11. kate Avatar
    kate

    That dog look so satisfied with itself. Most dogs would have that scared, cowering look. Not this one. I only see contempt. Obviously they deserved it.

  12. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    [rant] I hate those ads on CL, Evilbay, or wherever that say, “Easy fix!” If it’s such an easy fix, then the seller should fix it before listing. That goes triple for the nimrod who tried to sell me a car for which she didn’t have little things like the title (“tittle” in Sparky orthography). [/rant]

    1. HamCan Avatar
      HamCan

      I think “easy fix” in this case means he removed the dogs boy bits.

  13. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    Oh that, that’s nothing…This couch is like new, why it was only chewed on Sundays by my little dog lady while we were at church.

  14. SisterLyle Avatar
    SisterLyle

    Considering what I can gather by looking at that couch, it was pretty fugly before the dog got to it. Rover there may have actually done $200 worth of improvements to that God-awful fabric color.

    [Edit] For reasons unknown, wordpress is putting carriage returns before and after my italic tags even though I didn’t put them there. Today should be fun. [/edit]

    1. valarie Avatar
      valarie

      Yes, I’ll give them $200 for “my Precious” and let them keep the easy fix couch. I can add to my little pet menagerie, and they can get the green velvet bench for their ugly seating collection.

    2. ghostcat Avatar
      ghostcat

      It did that to me yesterday as well. WordPress is the gift that keeps on giving.

      1. drmk Avatar
        drmk

        I know about it. I’m trying to figure out what causes it.

        1. LimeLolly Avatar
          LimeLolly

          WordPress is making room for the coffee slices. probably.

        2. drmk Avatar
          drmk

          Okay, sorted. Rather than using the italics html, use the emphasis html — in other words, use em rather than i.

  15. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    Oh look, a $2400 chew toy for the dog. Dur.

    1. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
      Dave and Ferret Tribe

      I think I saw that in one of those upscale catalogs.

  16. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Under the diagonal white strip on the wall, down to the floor, there appears to be an empty beer bottle. I suppose their story is that the dog got a cold one out of the fridge, guzzled it, got melancholy (melanBordercholy?) and trashed the couch. Fido doesn’t need training, she needs AA!

  17. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Dog and Cat in the box today. Should be a good show!

    1. SisterLyle Avatar
      SisterLyle

      *pushes a couch into the box* That should help.

      1. ghostcat Avatar
        ghostcat

        Ooh, a new scratching post/cat bed!

  18. TacoMagic Avatar
    TacoMagic

    The reproduction cycle of the American domestic hound is one of the strangest in the world.

    First the fertilized female dog lays a clutch of eggs, or pods as they are often called, and then abandons them.

    After several days of incubation the eggs become active, or primed. They await a host, such as this green couch.

    When one of these hosts wanders too close to one of the eggs, the top splits open and launches several hand-fulls of change at the victim. Several of these parasitic coins work their way under the cushions and take root in the underlining of the host.

    Now infected, this couch will continue to function normally for the next six weeks, unaware that a parasitic larval dog is feeding on it. After the six week growth period is up, the fully grown dog bursts from the couch, killing it. Unless prevented, the new dog will quickly devour the rest of it’s host as a first meal.

    Mother nature is a strange thing.

  19. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    Sounds so similar to “Infected’ by Scott Sigler.

    :shudder:

    edit: reply to TM’s post. *ick*

  20. Dan Avatar
    Dan

    Another test of italics versus emphasis.

  21. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    Maybe if you spent less time on the couch, and more time with Precious, Precious wouldn’t be jealous of of the couch and feel a need to teach it a lesson.
    Oh, and “easy fix”? I hope you’re not thinking duct tape. Duct tape is not animal friendly.
    *pain in the fur*

  22. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Congrats, Hammy and ghostie for making it through the day alive! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, my Precious!

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