You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: no accounting for taste

  • YSaC, Vol. 421: The geezer period was after the French Prudential period.

    nice home decor

    [1]very nice wall hanging $5.00
    [2]bird house center piece $10.00
    [3]very nice swag $6.00
    all are homemade

    Say, that is a very nice wall hanging. Is that cross-stitch or latchhook? Can I get the pattern for that at JoAnn Fabrics? I think my grandmother would like that on a pillow. It’s so hard these days to find good embroidery work of geezers making obscene gestures. I mean, back in the 20s it was all the rage to decorate your house in early grandpa-grabbing-his-junk! It was everywhere — wall hangings, tea cozies, antimacassars, you name it. For some reason that style just didn’t keep as well as we thought it would. They say if you wait long enough everything will come back into fashion, though, and this is proof!

    Thanks to Mo for sending this one in!

  • YSaC, Vol. 418: Stain, stain, stain …. stain of fools …

    oversized chair (middlefield)

    This item is free, oversized comfy chair…would be great with a cover, and it’s free!
    415a

    I like how they’re really highlighting the “free” part. Unfortunately, free rhymes with the word I can’t help but thinking of when I look at this chair. That unfortunate linguistic coincidence disinclines me towards taking this chair, regardless of how “great” it would be with a cover. Unless that cover is made of antibacterial latex and is two feet thick, I think I’ll pass, thanks.

    Although, on second thought, it doesn’t look too bad compared to these …
    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 408: Kurzsichtiger Epileptikerdachs, in case you were wondering.

    Custom Pink Coffee Table – $5

    Customized coffee table with lower rack and wheels.

    408a408b

    You know, there just isn’t a good way to describe this coffee table. “Customized” isn’t quite the right word, is it?

    Now that I think about it, I’m not sure English HAS the right word to describe this coffee table, since there isn’t a word that means “appears to have been spraypainted by a nearsighted epileptic badger with an anger management problem”. I’m sure German has a word for that, though.

    Thanks to “The Shanimal” for the submission!

  • YSaC, Vol. 396: That would be a strange CSA share.

    Giant inflatable banana

    I am willing to trade my enormous yellow inflatable banana for something interesting and curious. This banana is as large as a child or small adult and weighs as much as a big balloon or many small balloons. There are two black handles at one end, which make like calm, friendly eyes for the banana if you are looking for a banana companion. There are two green, smaller inflatable compartments to either side of the main banana. You can think of these as leaves or even more imaginatively as young bananas yet to ripen. Interesting trades ONLY. This banana is priceless so I will accept no prices offered. Call (my number backwards is xxxx-xxx-xxx) or email.

    401

    Let’s see, what do I have lying around that I could trade for a giant inflatable banana? How about a stuffed raccoon? A dolphin/swan lamp/fountain? A cardboard cutout of Bea Arthur? A stuffed Spiderman?

    Wait, I’ve got it!

    highly suggestive carrot

    This one of a kind, sexually charged vegetable can be yours today! What would I need an extremely phallic carrot for, you ask? Party favor, gag gift, collectible, whatever! Best offer gets this totally unique item. Email me with your best offer!
    396

    Who could resist the allure of a anthropomorphically sexualized root vegetable in trade for an inflatable tropical fruit? (I’m pretty sure that sentence has never been uttered before in the history of the English language.)

    Thanks to Nicole for the inflatable banana, and to Steve for the pornographic carrot. (“The Pornographic Carrots” would be a great name for a band, wouldn’t it?)

  • YSaC, Vol. 393: If by “washing” you mean “kill it with fire”, then yes.

    Mens suit (pants and jacket)

    This is a pin striped gray suit the jacket is a 40 L the pants are 33 x 33 Magic Stretch by Haggard. The good thing about it besides being free is it is machine washable. Its been hanging in a bag in the basement closet for at least 7 years now. sooooo… It could use a washing before you wear it.put xxxxxxx in search box to see all things for sale & free

    Oh and we are smokers
    393

    I’ve never, ever associated the phrases “good thing” and “machine washable suit” together before. I’ve also never, ever considered wearing clothing that has been in a smoker’s basement for seven years and that even they describe as “could use a washing”.

    This was sent in by Relentlessly Optimistic, who runs an amusing blog of his own.

  • YSaC, Vol. 388: Tonight, Judas will be played by Miffy.

    I like my little sweet peas..share your pets with me

    I just wanted to share and get word out to everyone, that me and brenda mullins, I am jack mullins have puppet pet shows in our home. You can bring your little snuggle bunny to participate but a $10 fee will apply. We have church related shows that are geared to the well being of the animal for its spiritual side and we even baptitize for $100. We take donations here in our trailer, I live w/ mrs mullins, my mom, and do have stuffed animals for sale ranging from $25 – $550.00.

    Here is a pic of my mee maw and a pic of me making and holding toys for the animals, well I gotta get ready for tonights show, I hope yall can come and help save a animal and keep it on the spiritual path.

    I love you. Jack Mullins

    I love you too, Jack Mullins, but ours is the love that dare not speak its name. You see, our love is forbidden because my life’s mission is to prevent people from dressing their animals up in clothing. You seem to not only be doing that, but charging people for the privilege of doing so, and then subjecting the animals to being participants in strange religiously-based pet puppet shows.

    Is there really a big problem with heathen animals? I mean, other than hermit crabs, because those things are obviously Satan’s minions.

    And am I the only wondering whether the “stuffed animals” they’re offering for sale are fabric animals or taxidermied versions of the animals who kept missing their lines in Lent’s Passion Play? Have you ever tried to teach a Siamese cat Latin? It’s not pretty.

    This was sent in by Allison — thanks!