You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: no accounting for taste

  • YSaC, Vol. 1792: Sithi uhm ingonyama.

    Japanese rickshaw

    Small cellulite rickshaw good condition

    I … ew. I had no idea this was a thing. I wonder if I can get someone to carve something out of my cellulite? You could probably end up with a replica of Michelangelo’s David just from my thighs, and have enough left over for a Lionel Richie bust (which is totally apropos, since it was probably cream cheese dip that created the cellulite in the first place). Ah, the circle of life continues …

    Placenta – $40

    My wife just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and I have heard a lot about people taking the placenta and eating it. It really doesn’t sound that good to me, but we are strapped for cash and it is being properly refrigerated. Please email me if you’re interested, the doctor said it should last a few days.

    Gah. No. Also, no. It’s a thing, I get it … but no. And I’m definitely not eating someone else’s. I’m also terrified that my Google history now has the phrase “eating placenta” in it — in all caps, no less, because I accidentally hit the caps lock button so now Google thinks that I REALLY WANT TO TRY eating placenta. No thank you — THAT circle of life is ending.

    Thanks, Lyle and Kristen!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1766: Al-bert, Al-bert, A-a-a-al-bert(sons)

    RARE Vintage Albertsons Albertson’s Plastic Bakery Bread Bag – $20

    RARE vintage Albertsons Albertson’s plastic bakery bread freezer bag. Roughly 4″ x 12″. Used condition. I could not find another one anywhere on the Internet. These were meant to be thrown away, so to find one is rare. See pictures for condition and style.


    Hey Sparky, I’ve got a tip for you: “meant to be thrown away” means “meant to be thrown away.”

    Just so you know.

    Thanks for the post, OMV!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1627: Blesmols soul.

    mummified mole rat

    It is scary ready for holloween tex me xxx xxxxxxx

    You know, this IS very scary, especially since that’s probably not actually a mole rat (you know, since they’re indigenous to Africa and Eurasia and not especially good pets), and is more likely their kid’s guinea pig that got trapped in what appears to be a stuffed animal hoarding situation behind it. Based on the look on this poor critter’s face, it wasn’t a pleasant death, either.

    The other scary thing about this is that since Craigslist has started mapping street addresses within ads, we can see that the person who thought it would be okay to sell the dessicated corpse of a former family pet as a prop for Halloween happens to live across the street from a large school. If children go missing, I think the police should start in the pile of stuffed animals in this person’s garage.

    Thanks, Andy!

  • YSaC, Vol. 462: Next on HGTV — When Decorators Attack!

    wanted-HOME DECORE

    HELLO CRAIGSLIST! HOPE EVERYONE OS DOING WONDERFUL. I HAVE A HUGE REQUEST HERE. MY HOUSE RECENTLY GOT BROKEN INTO AND I AM AHVING TO REPLACE EVERYTHING.. EVEN DOW TO THE FOOD IN MY FRIDGE( LOL) I WAS WONDERING IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING OF THE RUSTIC NATURE,COWBOY,WESTERN THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO PART WITH. DECORE.BLANKETS, HORSESHOES, JOHN DEERE. I AM A JOHN DEERE FANATIC AND OVER 3000 OF MY JD STUFF ALONE WAS TAKEN. ANYTHING WILL BE ACCEPTED.. MY HOME FEELS LIKE A NAKED HOTEL ROOM… TY IN ADVANCE

    This doesn’t sound like a burglary to me so much as it sounds like an interior decorator’s intervention.

    But you know, I know where he could find a rustic statue of a … Texas. That’s rustic, right? Or maybe a raccoon with a gun?

    Thanks to pointyjess for the listing!

  • YSaC, Vol. 458: It’s too early in the year to make a “Sleigh Ride” joke.

    Does everybody have their solid-wall-of-capitalized-text glasses on? You do? Oh, good. You’re going to need them.

    SANTA SLEIGH LARGE WOODEN OUTDOOR DISPLAY – $195 (SALEM;OHIO)

    FORGET THE 1/4 INCH OR THE 1/2 INCH CHEAP MINIATURE PLYWOOD SLEIGHS THAT ONLY LAST A SEASON OR TWO!…OR THE CARDBOARD SLEIGHS THAT WARP AND BLOW DOWN .IVE GOT THE REAL DEAL THAT WILL LAST FOR YEARS AND YEARS TO COME!..THIS OUTDOOR SANTA SLEIGH IS CRAFTED AND BUILT BY MYSELF USING GOOD CLEAN BETTER GRADE 5/8 { NEARLY 3/4 INCH }SANDED PLYWOOD FROM HOME DEPOT…CHECK IT OUT!!…NO FILLER CRACKS ;HOLES;SPLINTS LIKE THE CHEAP GRADE..ALL NICE CLEAN SANDED WOOD READY TO BE PAINTED AND DECORATED TO YOUR CHOOSING AND DECOR…MEASURES 3 FEET HIGH; 4 FEET LONG AND 25 INCHES WIDE!…WILL HOLD CHILDREN AS WELL AS ADULTS FOR PHOTOS!..WONDERFUL FOR CHRISTMAS EVENTS ;WILL HOLD GIFTS AND PERFECT FOR PHOTO TAKING WITH KIDS…ALL ASSEMBLED USING 1/4 INCH BOLTS ;NUTS AND WASHERS FOR STRENGTH AND DURABILITY..AS WELL AS CAN BE EASILY DISSASEMBLED FOR STORAGE . WILL HANG ON GARAGE WALL..ALSO HEAVY ENOUGH TO WITHSTAND NORMAL WINDS AND NOT TOPPLE OVER LIKE THE STORE BOUGHT LIGHT WEIGHT ONES.{ 30+ POUNDS} ..AND JUST AS EASY TO REASSEMBLE YEAR AFTER YEAR..BUILT TO LAST!!..JUST GIVE IT A GOOD COAT OF PAINT AND THE 16 BOLTS KEEP IT TIGHT TO PREVENT WARPING FROM WINTER WEATHER!..TOO HEAVY TO SHIP SO MUST BE PICK UP ONLY!….PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME FOR MORE INFO. OR TO ARRANGE PICK UP AT MY SHOP!…{ A SPECIAL NOTE}….I WILL ALSO ADJUST SHIPPING COST DOWN DEPENDING ON YOUR ZIP CODE AT TIME OF PURCHASE OR WINNING BID…TO REFLECT YOUR ACTUAL COST OF SHIP AND HANDLING!.. IT WILL BE SHIPPED UPS ;BANDED TOGETHER WITH SEATS AND HARDWARE IN BETWEEN THE TWO LARGE SIDE PIECES ….READY TO BE ASSEMBLED BY YOU IN MINUTES!….HERES A SPECIAL NOTE!!….BUYING THIS COULD BE YOUR PATTERN TO GET STARTED MAKING AND SELLING IT IN YOUR AREA!…ITS THE ONLY ONE LIKE IT ANYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY AND I HAVE MADE OVER 1000 OF THEM IN THE LAST 10 YEARS…IF YOU LIKE WOOD WORKING YOU WILL MAKE BIG PROFIT!!…SOOOOO.!!. SHOCK AND AWE YOUR NEIGHBORS WITH THIS DISPLAY PIECE THIS CHRISTMAS AND GET STARTED TAKING ORDERS FOR NEXT YEAR IN A BIG WAY!!…….THANKS..

    Since nobody in their right mind can possibly make it through all of that, please allow me to highlight some of the more … interesting things about this ad.

    TOO HEAVY TO SHIP SO MUST BE PICK UP ONLY!….PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME FOR MORE INFO. OR TO ARRANGE PICK UP AT MY SHOP!…{ A SPECIAL NOTE}….I WILL ALSO ADJUST SHIPPING COST DOWN DEPENDING ON YOUR ZIP CODE AT TIME OF PURCHASE OR WINNING BID…TO REFLECT YOUR ACTUAL COST OF SHIP AND HANDLING!.. IT WILL BE SHIPPED UPS ;BANDED TOGETHER WITH SEATS AND HARDWARE IN BETWEEN THE TWO LARGE SIDE PIECES ….READY TO BE ASSEMBLED BY YOU IN MINUTES!….

    That’s right, it’s “pick up only” because it’s too heavy to ship … so he’ll adjust the shipping cost down to reflect the actual shipping cost when he ships it to you UPS. After you win your bid on Craigslist, of course.

    ITS THE ONLY ONE LIKE IT ANYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY AND I HAVE MADE OVER 1000 OF THEM IN THE LAST 10 YEARS…

    Other than the other 1,000 of these he’s made (and the others made by the people who bought them and then started tracing them so that they could start selling them as well), this is the only one of its kind anywhere!

    The only way this thing is going to SHOCK AND AWE YOUR NEIGHBORS is if the neighborhood kids pile up the fake roof reindeer underneath it and set the whole tacky mess on fire.

    So if you’re one of those people who insist on competing in the Cavalcade of Crappy Christmas Decorations each year, this sleigh is for you. And as an added bonus — it’s sturdy enough to support you when you pass out in it after your annual eggnog bender at the Elks Lodge.

    Thanks for the ad, Heather!

  • YSaC, Vol. 431: Serious cat does not LOL.

    Animal Print – $45

    Large Animal print collection from Home Interior
    obo

    Only serious people respond – I am not looking to buy, sell, or engage in other activities on this website – so please do not bother me with other offers! I am a very serious person!

    433

    I am Serious Lion. This is serious post. Serious, I say! Serious Lion is not interested in your solicitations to view your webcam or refinance my mortgage. Serious Lion will not send money to Nigeria via Western Union. Serious Lion is only interested in sitting here, and being serious. And a lion. Because I am Serious Lion.

    (Before anyone yells at me, follow the “lion” link. I know it’s not a lion.)

    Thanks, Lesley!