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YSaC, Vol. CXXVI

Written by

drmk

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“Stuffed” Raccoon Mantle Piece ? Taxidermy – $175

Having trouble finding the gift for the person that has everything ? Meet Sparky ! He is a large stuffed Raccoon taxidermy, that has been a part of my family for a few years. He’s large, fluufy and oh so cute !! He loves to just lay around on the mantle or hang out on top of a gun cabinet. Great for that country decor and the man that has everything !!! xxxxxxx@yahoo.com xxx-xxx-xxxx

Yep, there’s no better gift for the person who has everything than a “fluufy” raccoon named Sparky who, according to the poorly placed quotation marks, may or may not be stuffed.

Actually, doesn’t Sparky look like he’s reaching down for the guns in the gun rack? He may just be pretending to be stuffed, and patiently moving a fraction of an inch a day until he can get his hands on the guns and ammo. Then Sparky will get his revenge.

I mean, wouldn’t you, if you were a “stuffed” raccoon named Sparky that someone had a tendency to anthropomorphize?

(Thanks to the submitter!)

Comments

25 responses to “YSaC, Vol. CXXVI”

  1. Mandee Avatar
    Mandee

    I asked DH if he wanted an “oh so cute” “fluufy” raccoon for Christmas…he doesn’t. I’m sad.

  2. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    See, you should have just surprised him with it. Who could turn down all that fluuf?

  3. D Avatar
    D

    This really is the perfect gift for the guy who has everything. A raccoon in your house is a reminder that no matter how much stuff you have, you are not immune to

    1. Having your trash stolen, and
    2. Rabies.

  4. tigprincess Avatar
    tigprincess

    Damn! Just missed getting this for the birthday of my man … I’m sure he’s never owned anything that’s fluufly before … and he’s travelled!

  5. Mary Avatar
    Mary

    I am late to this post but love it so much.
    I admit that upon seeing Sparky I looked around my living room for a place to put him. Alas, there is no place that the dog can’t reach, so I guess I will resist the temptation.

  6. Charlie Everywhere Avatar
    Charlie Everywhere

    “He loves to just lay around on the mantle or hang out on top of a gun cabinet.” That’s just too much. Talk about adding insult to injury. “Look at you, lazy bones! You’ve done nothing by lay around since we MURDERED AND STUFFED YOU!”

  7. David:) Avatar
    David:)

    Looks like sparky (the racoon) wants to get you guns… Sweet revenge!

  8. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    Is this the original Sparky? Preserved for posterity?

    Yeah, that’s not scary at all.

    :dives back under the covers:

  9. ToBScholarly Avatar
    ToBScholarly

    How dire does your financial situation have to be when you consider selling your family pet?

  10. ratwoman Avatar
    ratwoman

    If he is patiently moving a fraction of an inch every day, that can only mean one thing. The Weeping Angels have a new disguise.

    Don’t turn your back. Whatever you do. Don’t even blink.

    1. kelli Avatar
      kelli

      Mila has a creepy Tinkerbell statue that has a snow globe and music box attached. The eyes on it are super creepy to the point that neither one of us wanted it to face us and we ended up putting a scrunchy over its eyes. Last night as she was packing it away in preparation for the move, she lifted the scrunchy and deadpanned, “don’t blink.”

  11. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan


    Sparky Raccoon checked out this room
    Only to find Gideon’s revolver
    Sparky had been dispatched with a gun
    and stuffed with his leg near a rifle

  12. TacoMagic Avatar
    TacoMagic

    Hey you… you down there. Yeah, you with the Cheetos’ cheese goatee.

    Pull my finger.

    1. funky monkey Avatar
      funky monkey

      Best. Reply. Here!

  13. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    What do you get for the man who has everything? Shots (in this case for rabies).

  14. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkge8xdWT4M

    Sunday Morning Cartoons. 8)

  15. Bianchi Sound Avatar
    Bianchi Sound

    As a man (and/or woman/goddess…) who has everything, let me explain how this works:
    I have everything.
    A stuffed raccoon named “Sparky.”
    A rusty boat/ sandbox.
    A truck full of bees.
    A swingset with a dead deer.
    E V E R Y T H I N G !

    Send cash.

    1. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      Paper or plastic?

  16. CapnMac Avatar
    CapnMac

    Oh my. I’d have to perch this Sparky in a very high place. The cat does not like raccoons. Everything!About!Raccoons!Is!Wrong! So, after the cat stopped leaping out of his skin in a brane-bending transdimensionality only cats can achieve, “stuffed” sparky would be shredded all over the house, with bits “buried” under various rugs and the like.

    Which means, some early morning, I’d slip of a glass eye and crash to my doom.

  17. Lara Avatar
    Lara

    I just spent far too much time confusing myself with wordpress and gravatar.

  18. nonsensicalcat Avatar
    nonsensicalcat

    Sadly, I grew up in the kind of town where most of my friends lived in houses with random taxidermied animals around. So, in order to make Sparky unique so that I can gift him to those who have everything, I’ll have to bedazzle his paws.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      *bling, bling!*

  19. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Okay, QQ, whoever and wherever you are, Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Dakota!

  20. Shann Avatar
    Shann

    To be fair, stuffing is an outdated method of taxidermy. He could be fitted over sculpt, which is more common these days, but just called stuffed for clarity since non-taxidermy-enthusiasts may not pick up on the technical difference.

  21. Mikyla Avatar
    Mikyla

    Was I the only one who read “fluufy” in the voice of Ulla from the 2005 Producers?

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