YSaC, Vol. 1792: Sithi uhm ingonyama.

2014 December 8

Japanese rickshaw

Small cellulite rickshaw good condition

I … ew. I had no idea this was a thing. I wonder if I can get someone to carve something out of my cellulite? You could probably end up with a replica of Michelangelo’s David just from my thighs, and have enough left over for a Lionel Richie bust (which is totally apropos, since it was probably cream cheese dip that created the cellulite in the first place). Ah, the circle of life continues …

Placenta – $40

My wife just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and I have heard a lot about people taking the placenta and eating it. It really doesn’t sound that good to me, but we are strapped for cash and it is being properly refrigerated. Please email me if you’re interested, the doctor said it should last a few days.

Gah. No. Also, no. It’s a thing, I get it … but no. And I’m definitely not eating someone else’s. I’m also terrified that my Google history now has the phrase “eating placenta” in it — in all caps, no less, because I accidentally hit the caps lock button so now Google thinks that I REALLY WANT TO TRY eating placenta. No thank you — THAT circle of life is ending.

Thanks, Lyle and Kristen!

18 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 December 8
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    How strapped for cash are you if you’re selling your wife’s placenta?

    Adores: 2
  2. 2014 December 8
    Ralph permalink

    Maybe cellulite removal is the reason parts of the Grinch were two thighses too small.

    And the second item would be the placenta of attention at the dinner table.

    Adores: 10
  3. 2014 December 8

    I’d almost as soon choke to death on someone else’s vomit. Then again, maybe Sparky #2 is anticipating the next hipster food fad.

    Adores: 3
  4. 2014 December 8

    Things got way too gross, way to early on a Monday.

    Way, way, waaaaaaaaaaaaay.

    Adores: 11
    • 2014 December 8
      Ninja Chow permalink

      Yup, that pretty much sums it up, just yuck.

      Adores: 1
  5. 2014 December 8
    HamCan permalink

    Me: Oh rickshaw driver I would like go to Nta.

    Driver: Where is this Nta?

    Me: It’s this place Nta, I was told it’s where all the babes hang out…

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 December 8
      Bombdude permalink

      [corey] For the record, When I was stationed in Okinawa, Japan, I spent 6 months stationed at the NTA (Northern Training Area). No babes, just lotsa sweaty Jarheads and banana spiders (and jungle)… [/corey]

      Adores: 4
  6. 2014 December 8
    camille permalink

    Driver, does this rickshaw make my butt look fat?

    Adores: 7
  7. 2014 December 8

    Oh thank the Maker I have other business to attend to. Silva, Punchity Punch Punch!

    I would rather clean out the box after a long weekend than think about the posts today.

    Good Morning, Gormands!

    Adores: 0
  8. 2014 December 8

    I wanted to post a link to the Saturday Night Live skit, Placenta Helper. Can’t find it by itself.

    Adores: 1
  9. 2014 December 8
    Yancy permalink

    When my pregnant wife told me that eating placenta was a thing, I had a full-body shiver and quietly left the room. Then later I made sure I told her that wouldn’t be happening. I was quite relieved to hear she had no intention of doing so, either. She’s been having a hard time getting me to eat onions, mushrooms, and olives, but at least I cook those things for her. But the placenta? Not only no, but hell no.

    Adores: 6
    • 2014 December 8
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      Well that’s the last time I order pizza for you. Mushrooms, olives, placenta and onions is their special. I thought you’d like it.

      Adores: 6
    • 2014 December 9

      But you had such a cute little placenta! Oh, wait. Sorry, wrong photo.

      Adores: 1
  10. 2014 December 8
    Yancy permalink

    Here in the Desert Southwest we serve menudo and tripas de leche. We already have enough bizarre food. We don’t need to get any more adventurous than intestines and bovine milk glands. The offal we already eat is crazy enough.

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 December 8
      Ninja Chow permalink

      The offal is awful?

      Adores: 4
  11. 2014 December 9
    Moe permalink

    Dry heaves….
    But, do you suppose it is sold by the pound?
    More dry heaves.

    Excuse me, I have to gargle.

    Adores: 1
  12. 2014 December 9
    Ralph permalink

    Just in case: [Corey]

    Adores: 1

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