YSaC, Vol. 388: Tonight, Judas will be played by Miffy.

2009 August 9

I like my little sweet peas..share your pets with me


I just wanted to share and get word out to everyone, that me and brenda mullins, I am jack mullins have puppet pet shows in our home. You can bring your little snuggle bunny to participate but a $10 fee will apply. We have church related shows that are geared to the well being of the animal for its spiritual side and we even baptitize for $100. We take donations here in our trailer, I live w/ mrs mullins, my mom, and do have stuffed animals for sale ranging from $25 – $550.00.

Here is a pic of my mee maw and a pic of me making and holding toys for the animals, well I gotta get ready for tonights show, I hope yall can come and help save a animal and keep it on the spiritual path.

I love you. Jack Mullins

I love you too, Jack Mullins, but ours is the love that dare not speak its name. You see, our love is forbidden because my life’s mission is to prevent people from dressing their animals up in clothing. You seem to not only be doing that, but charging people for the privilege of doing so, and then subjecting the animals to being participants in strange religiously-based pet puppet shows.

Is there really a big problem with heathen animals? I mean, other than hermit crabs, because those things are obviously Satan’s minions.

And am I the only wondering whether the “stuffed animals” they’re offering for sale are fabric animals or taxidermied versions of the animals who kept missing their lines in Lent’s Passion Play? Have you ever tried to teach a Siamese cat Latin? It’s not pretty.

This was sent in by Allison — thanks!

58 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 August 9

    Do they have a license to baptitize?
    For 100$ I’d love to see a baptitized parrot play a “snuggle bunny” version of Jesus Christ Superstar or a baptitized Chihuahua playing Thomas Becket in Murder in the Cathedral.
    I guess the cat in the picture has a side role in The Sound of Music. Unless it’s a waitress at the trailer’s austrian-themed snack bar.

    Adores: 9
    • 2009 August 9
      Windrose permalink

      I think I would pay good money to see them try to baptize my formerly feral cat, who dislikes to come near me on hot days when there may be sweat involved. Hint: Avoid the sharp end of the cat.

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 August 9
        Count Blah permalink

        Further hint: when a cat is angry, all its ends are sharp. Except the ass-end, but you’ll want to avoid that for other reasons.

        Adores: 3
      • 2009 August 10
        haha permalink

        I would definately pay money to see this guy try and baptize a cat… and get his face ripped off in the process. haha.

        Adores: 5
    • 2009 September 16
      Andrew permalink

      Mhhmmm… Baptize a pet. Sorry, but that’s for people.

      Adores: 0
  2. 2009 August 9
    sidebeards permalink

    My mee maw and I can baptize our pets in our own house…er… trailer. However, I do wait with bated breath for the new Brenda Mullens projects.

    Adores: 1
  3. 2009 August 9
    D / DM permalink

    Finally, someone who can help my gay dog Bootsie! Oh, thank you, kind Mullinses!

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 9
      Mimi permalink

      I had a friend in college that swears that her family’s pet poodle was a reincarnated gay french hairdresser.

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 August 9
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Aren’t all poodles?

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 August 9
          D / DM permalink

          No. You have to give them stupid haircuts to let those spirits possess them. Otherwise, they’re smart and loyal dogs.

          Adores: 1
  4. 2009 August 9
    tmh permalink

    This is disturbing- and those ‘puppets’ look scary

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 October 21
      Gretchen permalink

      I like them! They remind me of the stuffed things I make.

      Adores: 0
  5. 2009 August 9

    He calls his mother Mee Maw, lives in a trailer with her, dresses up and baptizes animals and plays with puppets. Is his wife human? There’s no picture of the wife, only one of Mee Maw…unless, is that kitty in the green dress his wife?

    Adores: 5
    • 2009 August 9

      I am not convinced that he is married. Brenda Mullins can be his mother. It says he lives with “Mrs. Mullins, my mom,” and there is no one listed after his ‘and’. Mrs. Mullins could be his mom. I think. Right? It would mean someone actually used a comma correctly on craigslist, but it could be possible.

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 August 9
        kris permalink

        I think you are on to something. Besides if you use enough commas one is bound to be in the right spot eventually… right?

        Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 9
      Count Blah permalink

      I think this guy is a furry who’s using religion to try to quell his unholy urges.

      Adores: 5
  6. 2009 August 9

    I am betting on taxidermied animals because:
    A. These people are creepy.
    B. How can someone charge $550 for a fabric animal?! If people pay that much, I am in the wrong profession! I don’t even bring home $550 a week! Forget teaching- I am buying myself a sewing machine!

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 9
      D / DM permalink

      Ever been to FAO Schwarz? There are some extremely expensive stuffed animals out there.

      Of course, I’m pretty sure whatever the Mullinses have for sale ain’t that great.

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 August 10
        Cathy D permalink

        I’m also betting there are some unholy smells involved when anything made of fabric leaves that trailer.

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 October 21

          Oh contrair, Cathy D, ’tain’t nuthin unholy about it. Them’s the natcherl smells of god-fearin’ people n their baptized animal friends. The critters have taken Jesus into their hearts as Lord and Savior, so their shit don’t stink.

          If thy nose offend thee, get right with the Lord and all smells will be as myrrh!

          Adores: 5
    • 2009 August 9

      I don’t think the calico lass in the green dress is taxidermied. She looks like she’s been extensively trained to put up with this BS. (Possibly also drugged.)

      Adores: 1
  7. 2009 August 9
    drbtx1 permalink

    This seems completely reasonable to me. Except for the fact that every Christian denomination I know of holds that animals do not have souls, which makes baptism kind of a moot point. Maybe they can branch out, and do kitty first communions and little doggy weddings (within the same breed, of course.)

    Adores: 6
    • 2009 August 17
      Kit permalink

      I’ve seen several “official” church-sanctioned animal baptisms from different, run-of-the-mill Xian religions. It creeps me out too, considering I was blatantly told at age 8ish that animals don’t have souls from one of the same churches that I saw perform them. But mainstream Christian churches do hold animal baptisms, so that isn’t really the crazy part of his post. How he thinks he’s qualified to perform them is definitely on the list, and that he believes in them is right up there.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 August 20
        Heidi permalink

        those aren’t baptisms, though…animal blessings are not the same thing as baptisms. Many churches do have blessings…I’ve never heard of any church that has actual baptisms for animals.

        Baptism is a covenant ritual, marking a person as giving themselves to Jesus, to live for Him. Animals can’t make a choice to live for Jesus, hence they cannot be baptized.

        Adores: 4
  8. 2009 August 9

    So. You take your pets over to this weirdo’s house, let him dress them and dance them around like puppets, and PAY HIM for it. And for even more money he’ll dunk the pissed-off, dressed-up cat in water. What I want to know is can he trim their nails? That might be worth $10.

    The picture of the grown man surrounded by stuffed animals screams “autistic”, as does pretty much everything else about this ad (obsessive devotion to religion, living with his mom, etc.) That is, if it’s not just a straight-up prank.

    The photo of the cat trying desperately to escape from Mee-Maw (?) is priceless.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 August 10
      Cled permalink

      Maybe the cat is Meemaw?

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 10

      Please…I’m autistic, don’t put me in the same group as this person. I have a hamster that lives happily in a cage, not dressed up or baptized.

      Really, stereotypes suck.

      Adores: 10
  9. 2009 August 9
    sumrtime permalink

    This is just wrong on so many levels.

    Adores: 1
  10. 2009 August 9
    Rebecca_J permalink

    I wonder if he actually “makes” toys as he claims, and if so, are those some of the toys he made. Because if so, those are some pretty cool toys. I suspect however that the toys he makes are of the “not pictured” variety and possibly share some characteristics with voodoo dolls made from materials found in a vacant lot.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 10
      Cathy D permalink

      They probably involve human hair…From the human of your choice, of course. Nothing weird about that. Nope. Not a thing.

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 17
      Kit permalink

      That drives me nuts. Those are great toys! I wonder if he was once a genius toy designer who couldn’t get a job, had to move back in with his Meemaw in her trailer, and went slowly insane, singing to the cats while he sewed.

      Adores: 5
  11. 2009 August 9

    There are so many reasons I love this site… Just when I feel somewhat good about humanity, I come here and it puts me rightly back in place.

    Could we have the Humane Society give these people a little visit please? Or a good psychiatrist at least.

    Adores: 2
  12. 2009 August 9

    The photo of the fat trailer trash chick holding the cat makes me want to stab.

    Adores: 3
  13. 2009 August 9
    Mrphysic permalink

    I feel sooooo sorry for those cats.

    The one with the dress will never be able to go out in public ever again. It probably lost 8 of its 9 lives from dying of embarrassment. And the other cat – with Mee Maw – is doing it’s darnedest to get it’s profile out of shot – well done that cat.

    How does this not qualify as animal cruelty? As if the dressing up weren’t bad enough – we’re going to also try to introduce them to the concept of christianity and all its associated guilt…..awful………just awful

    Adores: 1
  14. 2009 August 9

    Is the third picture a real cat? Or…a living cat? Uhg, this add… 우_우

    Adores: 0
  15. 2009 August 9
    RequiredName permalink

    apparently I’m the only one who thought “Mee Maw” was the cat’s name. But I have a raging headache right now which is making interpreting this nonsense even harder than normal.

    Adores: 1
  16. 2009 August 9
    Pug permalink

    This seems like a great deal to me. I’ll take my dog over, then i’ll pay them $10 so they can dress her up and put her in a puppet show. However, Id like $10 from them each time my dog bites them in the face! My guess would be I’d come out WAYYYY ahead!

    Adores: 2
  17. 2009 August 9

    Nothing screams “respect for our Lord” more than dressing animals up in costumes and charging the mentally challenged for the privilege.

    Adores: 3
  18. 2009 August 9
    kristen55 permalink

    This one is fairly well written (VERY well written considering the usual stuff on CL) and yet the person writing it appears to be completely insane. How fascinating!

    Adores: 2
  19. 2009 August 9

    I. Am. Afraid.

    Adores: 2
  20. 2009 August 10
    dogface permalink

    I think I’m comfortable dragging my pets down to hell with me if I don’t have to dress them up and make them perform in religious plays. Here I was thinking that humans were the only animals with complex enough minds to understand the concept of religion, but I’m glad Jack Mullins came and set me straight. Even though I’m leading my pets into eternal damnation, I think I’ll send a donation to Jack and his mee maw’s trailer for at least making me aware that I was dooming them.

    Adores: 2
  21. 2009 August 10

    The title alone is creeping me the hell out. “Share” my pets with you? No thank you, Jack Mullins.

    I’m inclined to think this is a joke. He lives with Mee Maw? In a trailer? And puts on pet puppet shows and baptisms? Really? I have a hard time believing it, except … there’s photographic evidence, where clearly all kinds of weird shit is going on. Somehow they got that cat into a little frilly dress. Oh, humanity.

    Adores: 1
  22. 2009 August 10
    Lola permalink

    Thank God I’m Anglican. The weirdest thing I’ve ever done is take the cat to the blessing of the animals for St. Francis of Assisi day, and that was more for the amusement of seeing all of the pets in the church. We don’t bother trying to save them, we just bless them (bless their little hearts!). In order for mine to calm down enough to get his nails trimmed, being saved isn’t what’s needed, exorcism is.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 August 10

      Try putting a clothespin on his scruff. It has the same immobilizing effect as scruffing him with your hand, but it works better because the pressure is more concentrated and you get to keep both your hands free. (It only works if the cat is not already super pissed off, though.)

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 August 11
        Lola permalink

        I’m going to try this. With heavy sleeves, though. Thanks for the tip.

        Adores: 0
  23. 2009 August 10
    corn flakes permalink

    Finally! I’ve been searching for so long for someone to save my pets from their sinful lifestyle.
    You should se the sinful things they do to each others rears.
    No eternal damnation for fluffy!

    Adores: 3
  24. 2009 August 12
    Bob permalink

    Mullins’s are @ it again on dallas RNR …. Here is a copied and pasted but without the pics that are hilarious!!!!!

    Hear..YE…HEAR YE…Calling all of gods’ creatures BIG and small…I and my mee maw are having pet shows in our home this friday night… (nothing dirty) just a ole fashion lesson on love and worship and good food …bring your kids, bring your pets and bring your apetitytes cause mee maw will have soome food/snacks but it won’t be enough to feed every body, so bring your own if you’d like, PLEASE NO BEER, OR DRUGS! We dress our petsie wetsies up and have a talent show for them , I learned how thru bible school and the libary they have for the adult GED class, it is good clean fun and nothing is going to hurt you/us to give it a try… it is my wife brenda mullins as known as kay kay.. and my one and only Mee Maw Mullins as known as super Granny or just plane mee -mee, mee maw or whatever…..

    We also have stuffed animals for sale ranging anwyherefrom $50-$500 , cats, puppies,squirells,bunnies (wunnies) I am a youth minister assistant and a member of a sunday school group and a class member at the salvation army class, I am not a pervert, I am a nice young cristian man doing the lords’work with animals and kids, like michael jackson said, there is nothing wrong with having kids or animals sleep in your bed..see its sexual, your thanking sexual stuff… its’ not… that’s stupid…

    Here are some pics from our last social at our home… think you for looking and reading my commentary,

    Love and xxooooxx (hugs and kisses),

    Jack,Brenda and mee maw Mullins

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 August 14
      Alex permalink

      Oh my god. Wife? Michael Jackson? I must see those pictures.

      OK Am I the first to admit that I think the stuffed animals pictured in the OP look pretty cool? If those are actually handmade, I’d say he’s quite talented. Doesn’t excuse all the CRAZY though.

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 September 1

      You know, I would bring my “apetityte” but I just lost it. Thanks a LOT, Mullinses. If this is good clean fun, please pass the beer and the drugs.

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 October 21

      So apparently Brenda and Mee-Maw are separate people.

      And, apparently, some woman married Jack Mullins.

      All you single guys out there: how does that make you feel?

      Adores: 6
  25. 2009 August 14
    Jmie E permalink

    I think by “baptize” he means drown, just a thought.

    Adores: 4
  26. 2009 August 25
    Arianna permalink

    But, these animals need saved!…. From these people.

    Adores: 1
  27. 2009 August 26
    Lacy permalink

    “..your thanking sexual stuff…”
    — Well, what do you know? Freud was right! Asking people to bring their pets and children then mentioning that there is nothing wrong w/ having them in your bed is not the greatest of selling points. I sort of feel bad for it but there are some people I really wish would join the military or get the crap beat out of them in some other organized fashion in the hopes that it would halt this form of ineptness before it leads to felonies.

    Adores: 3
  28. 2009 September 16
    picturepocket permalink

    Wait, what? Is that baptism a sprinkle or full immersion? What religion is this?

    Adores: 1
  29. 2009 September 17
    bitbot permalink

    Woah, you come to back to this and it’s just as weird as the very first time!

    Adores: 2
  30. 2010 July 11
    Silas permalink

    Did he maybe switch to pet puppet shows when the police had a word with him about his toddler puppet shows?

    Adores: 1
  31. 2013 January 21
    Lizzi permalink

    How did I miss this gem?! OMG, what a nutty mcnutterpants!

    Adores: 0

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