You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 389: But I *paid* someone to write it, so that’s okay.

Written by

drmk

in

,

Sociology research paper (new orleans)

I need a thorough research paper, 20 pages, 20 sources.
if you have it already written i am interested.

  • Location: new orleans
  • Compensation: 300$

Kris sends this listing in, saying, “Really, dude? You’ve got $300 bucks in spare cash but not enough time to do your own school work?”

Just for fun, I emailed our budding sociologist to ask some important questions — like, what topic? What university and what class? Sadly, I got no response. His loss. (Actually, since I was planning on turning him in to the professor, it might have been the wise choice on his part.)

Anyway, I wouldn’t have written Sparky’s sociology paper for him, but it probably wouldn’t have been too hard to find someone who would have:

Harvard Grad custom writes your term papers-no plagiarizing, ever

I custom-write your paper on any topic you need. Topic research included in price quote. MLA or APA formatting… email me at Smarts4hire@xxxxxxxxxxxx.com for a fast price quote.

This ad was submitted by Naomi, who says, “The New Oxford American Dictionary says to plagiarize means to “take (the work or an idea of someone else) and pass it off as one’s own.” Note that I ever so carefully cited my source. So, could someone explain to me how it is possible to have someone else write your term paper and to then turn it in under your own name, but still have “no plagiarizing, ever?”

Sigh. Stay classy, Harvard. (Says the graduate from a different snooty ivy-covered campus …)

Comments

46 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 389: But I *paid* someone to write it, so that’s okay.”

  1. kt Avatar
    kt

    i am guilty of being paid for writing other peoples papers and i have no regrets 😉

  2. Bridgete Avatar
    Bridgete

    For the first post, I feel like the caveat that he’d like it to be “already written” means that it’s the night before and he hasn’t done a damn thing and is hoping someone will respond in the next couple hours with their pre-written 20-page paper (which, in my opinion, is rather long for a soc. paper, I was a soc. major and I think the longest I had to do might have been 10-15…not counting my thesis, of course) so he has something to turn in.

    As for the second…anyone else think this is a good indication that Harvard’s plagiarism policy might be a little…lenient?

    1. candace Avatar
      candace

      Well, he never said he can guarantee you won’t get caught (that’ll be an extra $50)!

    2. Amaia Avatar
      Amaia

      Okay, so I’m reading/commenting late because I’ve been attending to my work as a PhD student in the social sciences…so I can say that this is the appropriate paper length for a graduate student paper. That is, this person is probably in a Master’s or PhD program. Seriously?

      Makes me sad.

    3. Chelsea Avatar
      Chelsea

      Anyone else think this is a good indication that this person did not actually graduate from (or matriculate at) Harvard?

      As a current Harvard undergrad, I can tell you the plagiarism policies are anything but lenient. Everyone takes it really seriously.

      No hard feelings or anything – just gotta represent. =)

  3. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    I’m just wondering why the hell a Harvard grad would be writing papers for money on Craigslist. Even if this person just barely graduated, the Harvard name tends to impress people. Either a) the job market is worse than we all thought and is so suck that not even a Harvard grad can get a job and we’re all doomed, b) this person really is a Harvard grad and has such a crappy personality, work ethic, etc. and nobody wants to hire them because they suck as a person, c) this person really is a Harvard grad and doesn’t want to get a “real” job, or d) this person really isn’t a Harvard grad and is just bulshitting so people will want to use their services.

    By “no plagiarizing, ever”, maybe they mean that they won’t be plagiarizing when they write the paper, so you’ll be the first one to plagiarize with that paper. Maybe.

    1. Bridgete Avatar
      Bridgete

      I almost said the same thing about a Harvard grad hiring himself out to write a paper. But I went with a jab at Harvard itself. Must have something to do with the fact that I live in Boston and encounter the Harvard kids who need to be knocked down a peg or two a bit too often…

      1. dogface Avatar
        dogface

        I’m totally a fan of knocking people down a few pegs. Y’know, personally, I’m not absolutely bowled over by Harvard (no more than any other good school). But impressive names can take you farther than accomplishment alone. 😛

      2. dogface Avatar
        dogface

        Also:

        Since you live in Boston, maybe you can answer this question for me. How come it seems like most everything closes at 9 PM there? I went there with a friend last fall and we discovered that after that magical time, there’s not much to do. :O

        1. Bridgete Avatar
          Bridgete

          I’ve only been here for two years, but I’ll venture a guess. One, Boston is kind of like the biggest college town you’ve ever seen. It has the highest concentration of higher education in the US. Any actual college town I’ve ever been to has the same problem — there’s nothing to do after 9 unless you want to (and are old enough to) go to the bar. Two, all the stuff to do that might be going on in the evening is generally the kind of stuff that caters to the lawyers/professors/doctors/executives who work in the city, so it’s all plays, symphonies, and operas.

          Weekends are better. Boston is apparently some kind of mecca for comedians, a lot of really famous ones got their start here. And the pubs generally have music on the weekends. But, yeah…there’s really not much evening life around here.

        2. dogface Avatar
          dogface

          That makes sense. We were there over the weekend and still didn’t find a whole lot open, but there were still a few places.

          I’m just surprised that that the Starbucks weren’t even open. I’m in the quasi-Midwest, and the freestanding ones are open until 1 am and the ones in Barnes and Noble were open until that closed, which is 11 pm around where I live and 10 pm just in the next state over. :O But maybe they’re just being nice since we live in out in the suburbs with not much going on. ;D

          P.S. I love symphonies and operas. When I have the money to see them. :C

        3. B....... Avatar
          B…….

          Go to the Black Rose on State Street near Faneuil Hall. Don’t wear orange…….

        4. Bridgete Avatar
          Bridgete

          Oh, yeah, the Starbucks thing is really weird. I think people don’t just go sit in coffee shops here. I grew up in Portland, OR (just a few short hours from Starbucks’ motherland…) and we had plenty of locations open after midnight, some open 24 hours. When I got here I just assumed the change was because I was no longer close to Seattle. And the fact that everyone drinks Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, which I think is an abomination (although I am kind of addicted to the Coolattas, but that might be because they’re basically a Frappuccino made with ice cream instead of crushed ice…) but the DDs aren’t open very late either. Anyway…now that I think about it, with all the students, the Starbucks thing is really pretty strange, I have never once been in a Starbucks that kicks you out for sitting and studying for hours, especially late in the evening. But yeah, here they all seem to close at some really ridiculous hour, I tried to stop by one after 7 in the middle of downtown and it was closed.

          I love symphonies and operas too…also when I have the money to see them. That’s really what I meant when I was talking about the lawyers and such…they have the money to go. I’m a law student (no, not at Harvard) so I’m hoping that will be me someday, but not right now. =(

    2. Count Blah Avatar
      Count Blah

      I’m sure that’s what the “no plagiarizing” means–that the writer is giving you something fresh and not selling the same exact paper to all your classmates.

    3. Wendy Avatar
      Wendy

      The Ivy-league name means less than you might expect, especially if you major in something like English. I’m a Duke grad, and the highest I’ve ever been paid was $8.75/hour – I just happened to choose a field that doesn’t pay well. ($8.75/hour is the going rate to manage a small public library in my state, by the way – they wanted a master’s degree, but I have a feeling there weren’t that many people competing for my job.)

  4. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    I’m back from vacation and one of the first things I do is get online to check YSaCL.

    That is all.

  5. KF Avatar
    KF

    A few months ago I marked a history paper which was 100% plagiarised from the internet. How did I know it was plagiarised? The paper opened with the words “Sixty years ago, in 1936…”.

    1. dogface Avatar
      dogface

      YESSSSSS. That is absolutely amazing. XD

    2. KP Avatar
      KP

      Poorly written AND plagiarized? Score!

    3. PrincessLuceval Avatar
      PrincessLuceval

      Math fail!

    4. candace Avatar
      candace

      Wow, anti-brownie points for them being a complete idiot, lol.

    5. BambooPanda Avatar
      BambooPanda

      OMG! Some people are just too stupid to even plagiarize correctly, they deserve the F. Huge fail if you can’t even use recent papers…

  6. Cathy D Avatar
    Cathy D

    I graded papers for a college professor who thought she was popular because her classes were always full. Of course, no one told her that her classes were always full because they were super easy and gave you the arts credit you needed to graduate. Anyway, I would see papers that were obviously copied from the net or just horrendously bad and mark them up in red and give them D’s or F’s. She would upgrade them to B’s because she wanted the students to like her more…awesome…

    1. KP Avatar
      KP

      wow. I can’t stand classes like that. It’s like, great, I worked my butt off for weeks yet somehow the schmuck next to me got the same grade? Really?

      1. BambooPanda Avatar
        BambooPanda

        You should just realize that when it comes down to getting a job you will actually have the skills and knowledge, he won’t and it will show in his work, and when he fails he will be fired.

    2. BambooPanda Avatar
      BambooPanda

      Wow, that is just sad…

  7. KP Avatar
    KP

    I just graduated from college 2 months ago and during my last semester I was so desperate for cash that I contemplated posting such a CL ad. But then I decided to respond to an ad looking for a nanny instead and be an honest person (especially since I was an RA and a role model on campus).
    Let me just say though that the job market really does suck for new grads. I have continued working as a nanny post graduation while interning one day a week for free in my chosen field. As you can imagine, working 6 days a week and feeling like you’re going nowhere in life after being at the top of your class at a well respected university leads to depression and desperation fast. Fortunately my internship has offered a full time position starting in September, but I understand many people aren’t as lucky.
    I do hate plagiarism and worked hard in school to get the GPA I earned. But I understand how miserable new grads are.
    For the record though, I doubt this person actually wend to Harvard, haha.

  8. casualencounters.com/blog/ Avatar
    casualencounters.com/blog/

    The person handing in the paper is plagiarizing. The person writing it claims that he is not.

  9. Mrphysic Avatar
    Mrphysic

    Witty Comment for YSaC:

    I need someone to write a witty comment for me in the comments section of yousuckatcraigslist.com so I can appear to be highly intelligent and wasted in my current job position. It must get at least 2 comments of appreciation and make reference to at least one ironic aspect of the post. If you have one written and ready to go I’m interested.

    Compensation: my unending admiration……and a sammich

    1. vickie Avatar
      vickie

      depends on the sammich

      1. Mrphysic Avatar
        Mrphysic

        I could give you a copy of the bacon sammich mentioned below…….(actually I won’t even make it – I’ll just buy it and pass it off as my own)

    2. candace Avatar
      candace

      I’m guessing you want something better than, “OMG that’s funny! LOL”

      1. Mrphysic Avatar
        Mrphysic

        Well…….now you’ve submitted that for free I might just copy and paste it at the bottom of the list (and pretend I wrote it obviously)

  10. RequiredName Avatar
    RequiredName

    Put copious amounts of bacon on the sammich and you got a deal! Of course, the comment will be plagiarized from elsewhere on the internet, that’s ok, right?

    1. Mrphysic Avatar
      Mrphysic

      OK – but the recipe for the bacon sammich will be plagiarised too. And my admiration will actually be an identical copy of the admiration I have for my Uncle (who is cool because he cheated his way through university by just copying off the guy next to him)

  11. RequiredName Avatar
    RequiredName

    crap. That comment was supposed to be nested in the one above. Sigh. No one will ever pay me to comment for them. 🙁

    1. Colleen in MA Avatar
      Colleen in MA

      OMG that’s funny! LOL

  12. Legion, for we are many Avatar
    Legion, for we are many

    I find that people who actually STATE that they are something as a means to make money (i.e., graduate of *any* high-ranking college, “an intellectual” (??)) or drops names/brags about money usually is conning you. I used to counsel high school students on applying to college and had a firm you-write-your-own-paper-I-give-you-feedback-and-suggestions policy. How are students ever going to survive on their own when mommy and daddy aren’t there to pay someone else to do it for them? *gets off high horse* That said, sometimes I read essays so bad that I wished someone else WOULD write them (the “I Suffered Because I Didn’t Get Picked to be Head Cheerleader” essays stand out in my mind); and other times, they were so damn good I was worried that someone would think an adult wrote them….can’t win!

  13. Mrphysic Avatar
    Mrphysic

    OMG that’s funny! LOL – (My talents are totally wasted in my job – I hope my boss reads this)

  14. Cookieput Avatar
    Cookieput

    When I was a freshman in college, my sister was a senior and was panicking about a paper on “Blood Knot” that she didn’t have time to write. I did it for free, she got an “A” and, as a middle school teacher, I gave zeroes for plagiarized work. And I have NO REGRETS! Muhahahaha….

  15. B....... Avatar
    B…….

    nuh-uh:

    A ghostwriter is a professional writer who is paid to write books, articles, stories, reports, or other texts that are officially credited to another person.

    A cheat yes, but not a plagiarist……..

  16. bonni Avatar
    bonni

    I read the first headline as “Scientology research paper (new orleans).” Maybe I need some caffeine.

  17. BambooPanda Avatar
    BambooPanda

    People create, write and come up with ideas that people pay them for, or pay them to have even though it wasn’t their idea. Advertisers who come up with commercials do not get recognition. They get paid to come up with ideas and the companies get to use them. If I write a song and a music star wants to buy it for $5,000 and I hand it over to them, are they using plagiarism? Lots of music artists don’t write their own songs, yet they still get recognition and credit for using them and the writer of the song just gets paid for that song and writes more. If I write a paper for someone and they want to buy it from me, then whatever they do with it after that is up to them. I don’t necessarily do it for them to hand in as their own work, but I am selling the paper and the rights to it to them for a fee, that is why it isn’t cheap, and why it is original work. Is it wrong for me to sell my work? No, I make stuff all the time, I make soaps, crafts, art, and I write. But with my papers I am also selling the rights to you to be able to say it is yours and do whatever you want with it. If you win a prize with a paper I wrote, then good for you. I can sort of tick that off on my resume that I am a good writer. And yeah I know I won’t share in that prize money and that is why my work is quality work, original, and not cheap. Do I feel bad if someone uses my paper to get them through school. No why should I? They are the one who chose to use the paper for that purpose, not me. I am not guilty of anything but writing a paper and selling it. Besides when that person graduates they still have to have the necessary skills and knowledge to perform their jobs, and if they don’t have that then they will have realized their mistake, not my problem. I don’t tell people to use my work as their own, but they of course have the option to.

    1. Alice Avatar
      Alice

      I know it’s an old post, but I just had to congrat you on the rationalization.

  18. pope suburban Avatar
    pope suburban

    I found someone spamming my local craigslist for a psych paper, and they had fairly unwisely used their student e-mail as the point of contact, and listed it in the ad. I turned her in to the honor code people on principle, because not only was she plagiarizing, but she was incredibly stupid about doing it. It was fun, I have to say.

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