YSaC, Vol. 390: The peeler / lincoln log set didn’t take off, though.

2009 August 11

Some things just shouldn’t be advertised together:

Child Gate & knife Set


Pressure type Child safety Gate. Works well. – $25
Ronco 25 piece Knife Set with Injector. Comes with holding block. Never been used, still in original box. – $25

When I read “Child gate & knife set”, I imagine a child’s gate that has slots for knives all across the top of it. It’s the ultimate space saver for the kitchen! Keep your child out of the kitchen and store your cutlery all in one useful multi-tasking tool!

It’s almost as useful as the Dutch oven and baby bath combo I got as a wedding present. Or the electric child’s swing with built-in cattle prod. Or the child’s swimming pool / jumbo washing machine. Or the … [insert your own idea here … and by here I mean in the comments below!]

Thanks to Kris for sending this in!

36 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 August 11
    Tasha permalink

    I know I loved that jolly jumper-rock polisher that I got as a baby shower gift. It went so well with the playpen-aminal carrier.

    Adores: 3
  2. 2009 August 11
    Batman permalink

    I want to get the item simply because it will go so well with my Child Seat-Toaster combo I got at Target, and the toy Learn Shapes-Mace pack we got as a gift.

    Adores: 3
  3. 2009 August 11
    Colleen in MA permalink

    We can’t live without the pacifier/Mace key chain.

    Adores: 3
  4. 2009 August 11

    This is extra bizarre because it’s so unnecessary (Craigslist is still free, yes?), and separately they’re rather normal entries.

    Also, damn, that’s a lot of knives.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 August 14
      Cathy permalink

      It’s the only knife you’ll ever need, but wait there’s more…

      Adores: 6
  5. 2009 August 11

    I’ll tell ya, those kids only have to be stopped by that child gate & knife set once. ONCE.

    Adores: 11
  6. 2009 August 11
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    “It’s a floor wax!” “It’s a dessert topping!” “Wait! You’re BOTH right!”

    Adores: 7
    • 2009 August 11
      Lola permalink

      Pussywhip – Vintage SNL FTW!

      Adores: 2
  7. 2009 August 11
    dogface permalink

    If I give them an extra five bucks, will I get a Pocket Fisherman and a Bedazzler, too?

    Adores: 2
  8. 2009 August 11
    Mimi permalink

    Ooooh, this should complete my set of child care/kitchen tool items so well! Right along with my bassinet/salad spinner, crib/bread machine, and breast pump/icecream maker (so handy.)

    Adores: 5
  9. 2009 August 11
    Lola permalink

    Personally, I’m a fan of my burglar alarm/white noise for sleep machine.

    Adores: 6
    • 2009 August 11
      corn flakes permalink

      Better than the Homer Simpson “everything’s fine” alarm.

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 September 17
        2Sly4You permalink

        Simpson reference FTW!

        Adores: 1
  10. 2009 August 11

    It’ll go great with the baby bath/garbage disposal I got last year.

    Adores: 3
  11. 2009 August 11
    Liz permalink

    RE: The Dutch Oven/baby bath

    You laugh, but my mom actually used a large oval roasting pan (the type you use for turkeys and large roasts) as a baby bath more than a couple times. 🙂

    Now, my combo Sit ‘n Spin/circular saw…THAT’s fun.

    Adores: 5
    • 2009 October 9
      Ben Tydears permalink

      Well, I guess if you put a lid on that large oval roasting pan while you’re using it as a baby bath … hey presto, you’ve got a Dutch oven of sorts. At least, once the baby farts.

      Warm the water a little while bathing baby to make it fart. Turn the gas stove flame up to medium high till you see the water bubbling and then turn the gas off before the water boils (don’t wanna boil the baby, eh?!)

      After that, any OTHER bubbles you see will be baby’s farts. Oh, any bubbles that occur if the baby is face-down in the water WON’T be fart bubbles, they’ll be cos water is replacing air in its lungs. Besides, you’ll see its arse out of the water. You’ve probably applied too much heat and/or the lid on the roasting pan depleted all the air. Oops!

      Adores: 1
  12. 2009 August 11

    baby walker/floor polisher.

    but i’m only partly kidding. that would actually be really useful.

    Adores: 1
  13. 2009 August 11
    corn flakes permalink

    For the dad on the go, the Rattle/Phillips head screwdriver.

    Adores: 2
  14. 2009 August 11
    corn flakes permalink

    I think the “with Injector” is the scariest part of the Knife-gate

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 11
      corn flakes permalink

      Sorry to be a comment-hog, but that just reminded me of the best invention ever….
      KNIIIIIFEWREEENCH

      It’s practical and safe!
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x22yNaLdiGA

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 August 12
        antoinette jeanine permalink

        For kids!

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 August 12
          corn flakes permalink

          Thank you antoinette jeanine. You reaffirmed my faith in humanity.

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 August 14
        Cathy permalink

        This soda tastes inky.

        Adores: 2
  15. 2009 August 11

    I was imagining a gate with some sort of array of spring-loaded knives on the top. Like, “Come on, toddler! I @!&*#$^ DARE you to open me!”

    Adores: 0
  16. 2009 August 11
    Mrphysic permalink

    Looks like a lot of these inventions will just be consigned to the dustbin along with my inventions of a Laundry basket with laser sighting, running shoes with a Harpoon attachment, and matching condom/socks combos (worst night of my life……..)

    However – I actually see a vague glimmer of logic to this post. There are sooo many potentially lethal knives available that therefore you might want to consider installing a child safety gate to keep the rugrats out of the kitchen…..But yeah it ranks up there with a gun rack with child’s play pen combo deal in that respect.

    Adores: 1
  17. 2009 August 12
    brashieel permalink

    I’m still trying to figure out what somebody could do with 26 knives. I mean, clearly there is some intended function for all of them.

    Still… combing listings on a free site is extra-clever.

    Adores: 0
  18. 2009 August 12
    sumrtime permalink

    I should totally buy this for my sister. She’s expecting. It will go great with the pacifier/pen knife I got her for traveling.

    Adores: 0
  19. 2009 August 12
    mudslicker permalink

    Nothing says child safety like the Fisher-Price See ‘n Say The Farmer Says/Hot Shot Cattle Prod combo. “The cow says….MOOOOOoooooowwww!”

    Adores: 2
  20. 2009 August 12

    That’s not nearly as useful as my bassinet and bear trap combo.

    Adores: 0
  21. 2009 August 12

    who wouldn’t want that combo?

    Adores: 0
  22. 2009 August 13

    Baby-walker / floor polisher kinda already invented.

    see here http://honestinfomercialreviews.com/weird-inventions/weird_inventions_from_japan/

    Adores: 2
  23. 2009 August 19
    Osakajin permalink

    Last time I bought a child-safety gate, I was so disappointed. After I opened it up, I read inside on packaging “Knife set not included.” WTF, rip-off!!!
    So, this is a pretty sweet deal!

    Adores: 2
  24. 2009 August 27
    Sidekickboy permalink

    I’m looking for a good deal on a combination hookah and humidifier.

    Adores: 0
  25. 2009 November 18
    Becca permalink

    You see, I don’t need EITHER of these things anymore. Nope, not anymore…

    Adores: 3
  26. 2009 November 18

    But would you be interested in this combination musical-crib-mobile and lawn-dart storage rack?

    Adores: 0

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  1. File under: Why didn’t someone come up with this sooner? « Pink the color. Pink the person. Hot dogs. Basically anything that’s awesome.

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