You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 390: The peeler / lincoln log set didn’t take off, though.

Written by

drmk

in

Some things just shouldn’t be advertised together:

Child Gate & knife Set

Pressure type Child safety Gate. Works well. – $25
Ronco 25 piece Knife Set with Injector. Comes with holding block. Never been used, still in original box. – $25

When I read “Child gate & knife set”, I imagine a child’s gate that has slots for knives all across the top of it. It’s the ultimate space saver for the kitchen! Keep your child out of the kitchen and store your cutlery all in one useful multi-tasking tool!

It’s almost as useful as the Dutch oven and baby bath combo I got as a wedding present. Or the electric child’s swing with built-in cattle prod. Or the child’s swimming pool / jumbo washing machine. Or the … [insert your own idea here … and by here I mean in the comments below!]

Thanks to Kris for sending this in!

Comments

36 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 390: The peeler / lincoln log set didn’t take off, though.”

  1. Tasha Avatar
    Tasha

    I know I loved that jolly jumper-rock polisher that I got as a baby shower gift. It went so well with the playpen-aminal carrier.

  2. Batman Avatar
    Batman

    I want to get the item simply because it will go so well with my Child Seat-Toaster combo I got at Target, and the toy Learn Shapes-Mace pack we got as a gift.

  3. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    We can’t live without the pacifier/Mace key chain.

  4. Fraulein N Avatar
    Fraulein N

    This is extra bizarre because it’s so unnecessary (Craigslist is still free, yes?), and separately they’re rather normal entries.

    Also, damn, that’s a lot of knives.

    1. Cathy Avatar
      Cathy

      It’s the only knife you’ll ever need, but wait there’s more…

  5. DW Avatar
    DW

    I’ll tell ya, those kids only have to be stopped by that child gate & knife set once. ONCE.

  6. PrincessLuceval Avatar
    PrincessLuceval

    “It’s a floor wax!” “It’s a dessert topping!” “Wait! You’re BOTH right!”

    1. Lola Avatar
      Lola

      Pussywhip – Vintage SNL FTW!

  7. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    If I give them an extra five bucks, will I get a Pocket Fisherman and a Bedazzler, too?

  8. Mimi Avatar
    Mimi

    Ooooh, this should complete my set of child care/kitchen tool items so well! Right along with my bassinet/salad spinner, crib/bread machine, and breast pump/icecream maker (so handy.)

  9. Lola Avatar
    Lola

    Personally, I’m a fan of my burglar alarm/white noise for sleep machine.

    1. corn flakes Avatar
      corn flakes

      Better than the Homer Simpson “everything’s fine” alarm.

      1. 2Sly4You Avatar
        2Sly4You

        Simpson reference FTW!

  10. kelli Avatar
    kelli

    It’ll go great with the baby bath/garbage disposal I got last year.

  11. Liz Avatar
    Liz

    RE: The Dutch Oven/baby bath

    You laugh, but my mom actually used a large oval roasting pan (the type you use for turkeys and large roasts) as a baby bath more than a couple times. 🙂

    Now, my combo Sit ‘n Spin/circular saw…THAT’s fun.

    1. Ben Tydears Avatar
      Ben Tydears

      Well, I guess if you put a lid on that large oval roasting pan while you’re using it as a baby bath … hey presto, you’ve got a Dutch oven of sorts. At least, once the baby farts.

      Warm the water a little while bathing baby to make it fart. Turn the gas stove flame up to medium high till you see the water bubbling and then turn the gas off before the water boils (don’t wanna boil the baby, eh?!)

      After that, any OTHER bubbles you see will be baby’s farts. Oh, any bubbles that occur if the baby is face-down in the water WON’T be fart bubbles, they’ll be cos water is replacing air in its lungs. Besides, you’ll see its arse out of the water. You’ve probably applied too much heat and/or the lid on the roasting pan depleted all the air. Oops!

  12. lesismore Avatar
    lesismore

    baby walker/floor polisher.

    but i’m only partly kidding. that would actually be really useful.

  13. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    For the dad on the go, the Rattle/Phillips head screwdriver.

  14. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    I think the “with Injector” is the scariest part of the Knife-gate

    1. corn flakes Avatar
      corn flakes

      Sorry to be a comment-hog, but that just reminded me of the best invention ever….
      KNIIIIIFEWREEENCH

      It’s practical and safe!
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x22yNaLdiGA

      1. antoinette jeanine Avatar
        antoinette jeanine

        For kids!

        1. corn flakes Avatar
          corn flakes

          Thank you antoinette jeanine. You reaffirmed my faith in humanity.

      2. Cathy Avatar
        Cathy

        This soda tastes inky.

  15. casualencounters.com/blog/ Avatar
    casualencounters.com/blog/

    I was imagining a gate with some sort of array of spring-loaded knives on the top. Like, “Come on, toddler! I @!&*#$^ DARE you to open me!”

  16. Mrphysic Avatar
    Mrphysic

    Looks like a lot of these inventions will just be consigned to the dustbin along with my inventions of a Laundry basket with laser sighting, running shoes with a Harpoon attachment, and matching condom/socks combos (worst night of my life……..)

    However – I actually see a vague glimmer of logic to this post. There are sooo many potentially lethal knives available that therefore you might want to consider installing a child safety gate to keep the rugrats out of the kitchen…..But yeah it ranks up there with a gun rack with child’s play pen combo deal in that respect.

  17. brashieel Avatar
    brashieel

    I’m still trying to figure out what somebody could do with 26 knives. I mean, clearly there is some intended function for all of them.

    Still… combing listings on a free site is extra-clever.

  18. sumrtime Avatar
    sumrtime

    I should totally buy this for my sister. She’s expecting. It will go great with the pacifier/pen knife I got her for traveling.

  19. mudslicker Avatar
    mudslicker

    Nothing says child safety like the Fisher-Price See ‘n Say The Farmer Says/Hot Shot Cattle Prod combo. “The cow says….MOOOOOoooooowwww!”

  20. Monkey Avatar
    Monkey

    That’s not nearly as useful as my bassinet and bear trap combo.

  21. No Wonder You're Single Avatar
    No Wonder You’re Single

    who wouldn’t want that combo?

  22. ByteTrash Avatar
    ByteTrash

    Baby-walker / floor polisher kinda already invented.

    see here http://honestinfomercialreviews.com/weird-inventions/weird_inventions_from_japan/

  23. Osakajin Avatar
    Osakajin

    Last time I bought a child-safety gate, I was so disappointed. After I opened it up, I read inside on packaging “Knife set not included.” WTF, rip-off!!!
    So, this is a pretty sweet deal!

  24. Sidekickboy Avatar
    Sidekickboy

    I’m looking for a good deal on a combination hookah and humidifier.

  25. File under: Why didn’t someone come up with this sooner? « Pink the color. Pink the person. Hot dogs. Basically anything that’s awesome.

    […] My favorites so far: Invitations! Child gate and knife set […]

  26. Becca Avatar
    Becca

    You see, I don’t need EITHER of these things anymore. Nope, not anymore…

  27. isaac Avatar
    isaac

    But would you be interested in this combination musical-crib-mobile and lawn-dart storage rack?

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