YSaC, Vol. 391: Did I mention it’s a touching story about a boy and his dog?
writter to needed
I have the plot and the outline for one of the best novels to be wriiten. I need a writter who will be able to put the plot together . The book will be one of the best sellers when released
See, there’s this guy, and he accidentally stumbles upon this conspiracy. And there’s a hot girl who happens to be a scientist, and she doesn’t believe him at first but then realizes he’s right and falls in love with him. And they keep encountering these people who they think they can trust, but some of them turn out to be vampires, and the vampires go to this school where they learn to do magic. And this one vampire is alienated from her family, and there’s a subplot about how she learns to trust her estranged vampire father again. But then the vampire father turns out to be a time traveler, and is part of the conspiracy theory against the other guy. And at the very end, the boat sinks.
Thanks to Skye for sending in this ad!
Is it totally wrong that I’m curious what the actual plot/outline looks like? It’s kind of a morbid curiosity, really. Like slowing down to look at a car accident.
No, I’m actually kind of curious myself, for the same reason I inevitably find myself watching terrible movies on TV.
Besides, an outline for the best novel to be written doesn’t come along every day, you know.
Hmm, I think I can put that plot together and writ that for you drmk. We’ll have a best seller once it’s wriiten!
What is a writter anyway?
It sounds like someone who writes messages on Twitter.
I’d read that novel.
Jon, you probably already have.
A best-seller, eh? In my experience, any time a person is this positive that their skills will make them famous, they inevitably suck.
Which reminds me of this audition from So You Think You Can Dance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g49cVjOZkPE&feature=related
(I wish I could find the first one, in which the guy explains that he’s a highly skilled dancer with years of rigorous training and that he wants his stage name to be “Sex” because his dancing is sexiness personified.)
Gawd! I couldn’t even watch that to the halfway mark! Poor guy.
me neither x_x
Actually, this person is positive that someone else’s skills will make them famous, which is even better.
I wonder if the movie rights are available.
@drmk:
I think your plot outline is a little too ambitious. The OP said it would be “one of the best sellers,” not ALL of them.
I dunno, I think drmk hit it right on the nose — anyone that positive yet clueless is putting together ideas gleaned from reading the blurbs on the airport paperback rack.
I suspect this individual also wrote the screenplay for “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen”, which took a number of individually fun stories and made something… different*.. out of them all.
*(and by different, I mean a horrible, butchered mess)
yes, that movie made my soul sad 🙁
Actually, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was based on the comic book of the same title, written by Alan Moore (Watchmen, V for Vendetta, From Hell). Blame him.
I didn’t see that movie… never wanted to… but I did see a similar abortion: Van Helsing. Ugh.
You can’t blame Alan Moore – he wanted nothing to do with the films. The books are far better anyway, and he’s a weird genius, bless him.
I know, way late with the comment again but I’m gradually making my way through the archives, and I couldn’t leave this one without defending Mr Moore 😉
I have news for you, writter-wanter. Unless you go the expensive route of self-publishing, you will have to submit your outline, sample chapter, biography, media experience, research on competitive titles, what you’re willing to do for publicity, and ideas for possible sequels to a reputable publisher (if you don’t go the agent route). If you are signed, your book will most likely have a first run of 2K copies, sell half (the rest will be remaindered so prepare to see your “best-seller” at Buck-A-Book or Costco), and then be back listed for five years until it is moved to OOP (out of print) status. And whose name, exactly, is going to go on the cover? “Outline by —” is not standard practice in the book world.
Good luck with all that!
Oh come now, Colleen. Tut-tut. Have you never read Blockbuster! by Wanna Writter and U. Gullible Ghostie? Or The Only Book You Need To Read by Wanna Writter? (In the afterward there are grateful thanks to “U. Gullible Ghostie, without whom this book could not have been written”.) Or Believe! by Wanna Writter as told to U. Gullible Ghostie? Or…
Sign me,
Ex-ghostie. =(
I stand corrected. ;0)
How can there be another Skye who reads YSaC?! Did I submit this in my sleep? My submissions never make the site :<(
No, it wasn’t in your sleep, it was another Skye – me! (Boston area) : )
Sounds good. We can hire Michael Bay to direct the movie version.
Well there is no solid plot. So i’m sure he’d be great for it.
Suddenly, there was an explosion and the writter exploded in an exploding ball of flame…Blam!
PS – Nike, Canon, Pepsi and Calvin Klein
A couple of years ago this guy I encountered at a party found out that I was related to a semi-famous screenplay writer. He fell all over himself trying to get me to talk to my cousin and ask him if he’d write his movie for him (he offered a couple hundred dollars!!!). The movie was, apparently, HIS LIFE AND DREAM, MAN.
When I pressed him for details, it turned out that all he had was a plot. And when I say “a plot”, I’m talking something that could be condensed into a single sentence. He said he wasn’t good with dialog, or description, or you know, just writing in general. But that’s not important if you want to write a screenplay, right?
Not if you have a couple hundred dollars to spend! I’m sure all those awesome screenplays that were turned into box-office smashes were written for that…
This person needs to put out a little more effort and check out the listing from the other day. He/she can get a Harvard grad* to write it for them! Hey, so it’s not a research paper for class, but this person’s just suggesting the idea, not doing the actual writing and can’t be picky.
*If that bit is actually true …
If this person means the heartwarming story about a chicken, it was already done in an earlier CL post.
definitely needs a “writter” – bet the idea is just GENIUS!
Here’s the thing. No matter how good the plot idea, you have to be really, really famous before you’re allowed to make somebody else do the actual writing for you. Or really rich, I suppose.
That being said, I’m curious about the plot/outline. I’m imagining some sort of blatant rip off of some other successful story, but it could also just be an incoherent mess.
How much is this person paying? I’m fairly certain I could whip up something they would think was “one of the best sellers” in about, say, 30 minutes.
Oh, wait. I’m not a writter, nor do I know anyone who is. At least, I don’t think I do. Damn. I don’t know what “to needed” means, either. Is that a typo for “too needed,” as in something (perhaps a clue) is obviously too, too needed here?
Maybe “two” needed
Sounds like Three Days of the Condor meets Bones, meets hunk from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (ha, really works with Bones ;-), meets Harry Potter, meets The Time Travelers Wife and they all sink on the Titanic. Sigh. I watch too much television.
HaHa writter to needed. proofrieder am wanted.