You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: speeling prolbems

  • YSaC, Vol. 1769: Federal Burrow of Investigation

    Free burrow pick up only

    Free burrow all wood it’s in good condition nothing is broken as far as drawers or anything just needs cosmetic work just sanding, painted and new drawer handles. First person to respond gets it only serious people please respond.

    Hello. I am a very serious person. I would like to pick up your all wood burrow. However, I am confused. A “burrow” is a hole, is it not? It is difficult to pick up an absence of thing. For that matter, how do you know the hole is an absence of wood? It could be an absence of molybdenum, or cheddar cheese. This is important to me, because I am a serious person.

    Of course, you could have just misspelled “burro.” Are you selling a donkey? Because I don’t think I want to try sanding a donkey. That would be insufficiently serious.

    Thank you for this serious post, Christine!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1765: Light the grail-shaped beacon!

    Just to be different, we’re going to lead with the picture today, and then follow it with the ad:

    That’s a blurry picture, but it’s not a terrible seeming bench. I wonder why it’s in the corner?

    Naughty Pine Bench – $25

    This bench is Naughty Pine. It is sturdy. Asking 25.00.

    Oh. It’s naughty. Naughty, naughty bench. Stay in the corner!

    (Thanks for the naughty bench, Jeff!)

  • YSaC, Vol. 1764: I’m too sexy for correct spelling

    Sexy woman at western [state] fair pink shirt – m4w

    I seen u u smiled I asked how u was doing u walked off and I seen u look back while I was checking u out.im bald white guy with a green shirt on … Probably a long shot but u was very sexy so worth a shot… If this was u hit me up and tell me what I was doing when I seen u

    So what do we think Mr. Clean here was doing when he seen her?

    • Picking fried butter out of his teeth?
    • Trying to pry off the GPS anklet?
    • Attempting to secure his party’s 2016 presidential nomination?
    • Yoga?

    What do you think?

    (Thanks for the post, OMV!)

  • YSaC, Vol. 1761: It Hertz So Good

    Last week was Mackenzie week, but this week it’s SD week. Thanks to SD for supplying all three of this week’s posts! Sadly, Mackenzie crashed the backhoe, but you’re welcome to come pet the official YSaC sea urchin, “Pointy.”

    [Zip Code] – $150

    i am selling this Samsung Galaxy note 2 with charger unlocked pain is missing scream scratch

    Pain is missing? I think we know who can help with that! (The screaming will probably also be covered.)

    Also, it’s worth noting that the entire title of this post was the zip code where the phone was offered for sale. No mention, for example, of the actual type of item being sold.

    Thanks for the week, SD!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1760: Magic Bust

    kenmore. Elite Matching washer and dryer – $250


    They r brand new and need to sell girl Friends mom got Got one that she’s more room cuz the house is small a top on in the bottom one saw these ones are up for grabs 250. Ob offer thanks

    So you’re selling your girlfriend’s mom? Is that legal? Also, I’m not sure sawing a washer is really good for it. Or is this some sort of magic trick? Wait, I think I’ve seen that one: You push the washer/dryer together, put your girlfriend’s mom in so she’s sticking out of both sides, and then saw it in half. Yeah, that was pretty good. Not as good as making the Statue of Liberty disappear while it was inside a refrigerator, but waay better than escaping from the dishwasher while handcuffed.

    Thanks for the magic, sd!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1758: Like whining for chocolate

    Since Mackenzie sent our first two posts this week, let’s go for a trifecta: (That’s Latin for “three fectas”!)

    Searching For A Job Needing Help Without A Boss That…… (All Over)

    IM LOOKING FOR A JOB THAT IS IN NEED OF HELP. BUT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR WORK THAT HAS A BOSS WHO IS A TOTAL JACK-ASS HIPACRITE!!!!!!! A BOSS WHO ISNT A WHINER, CRY-BABY, OR A PUSSY BOSS, WHO QUIET FRANKLY ACTS LIKE A LITTLE BITCH, OR NEEDS AND WANTS MORE THAN A KID WANTING CHOCOLATE. IF YOU ARE A BOSS THAT FITS THIS SUBJECT THEN DO NOT REPLY. I DO TALK ON THE PHONE, TEXT, AND SMOKE. BUT I GET MY WORK AND TASKS DONE.

    This person meets ALMOST all of the criteria I have for a potential employee:

    • They smoke.
    • They text and talk on the phone while on the job.
    • They have no idea how to turn off caps lock…
    • …or when to stop using exclamation points.
    • They can’t spell “Hypocrite.”

    That pretty much summarizes my ideal employee right there. Sadly, I also need someone who lives in (everywhere) rather than (All Over), so I guess I’ll be looking elsewhere.

    Thanks for the week, Mackenzie! Next week, you can drive the YSaC backhoe if you like!