You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: speeling prolbems

  • YSaC, Vol. 1656: Which witch is winch?

    2011 jeep grand Cherokee 4wd – $9000

    I have a 4wd Jeep Cherokee. Its is dully loaded and has a which attached to front ranch hand bumper and grill gaurd. It is on a 4 in suspension lift and a 6 inch body lift has 35 mud grip tires(1200) witch has only been on it for two months. The truck only has 48,000 miles on it. i am looking to trade it but I looking for certain things only. I don’t need it but its paid for so O don’t have to sell it. Now here is what I am looking for. A lady( preferable married to how wants the jeep) she mist be 18 to 50 and fit. I give you the jeep and you leave your wife with me for a week. When you come pick her up she have the signed title to the jeep. So if interested send me several photo of the wife and I get right back to you. The photo need to be nude after all she will be for a week.

    Hi all! It’s drmk here. You may have noticed that Dan’s been writing most of the posts recently. That’s because I’ve been … er, away. I’m back now, though.

    Hey, do you like our new Jeep?

    Thanks, Chance!

  • YSaC, Vol. 606: It’s the most remarkable word I’ve ever seen!

    A lurning tool for your child – $12

    You are buying a tool to lurn by. Call xxx-xxx-xxxx or e-mail me. I will mail to you. It’s ok to contact me about similar items.

    399

    You know, I’m glad to see this. Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children lurning? This proves that our children is lurning! Or, at least, they can if you buy them this tool to lurn by. Look, everyone, it lurns you cat math! 3+5 = 13!

    I keep trying to read the letters on the bottom and make them into a word. I vote for “APQXRYSFN” as the band name of the day.

    licenced child care provider has 2 opening’s

    Hello, my name is [name] i am a licenced child care provider i have 2 child care spot’s available.
    INFANT SPOT UNDER 2
    TODDLER SPOT 2 AND OVER
    I have been doing child care now for over 4 year’s i am liceneced thru the state and the Airforce i have a 4yr old daughter of my own and i have 3 other children enrolled.
    I do have references available upon request i have a daily schedule i try to stick to i do have plenty of fun time in my schedule but i also have an hour a day set to “school” type learning we work on all kinds of thing’s sign language letter reconition spelling of there name’s and shapes color’s numbers etc i offer a fun clean loving enviroment and i do serve breakfast am snack lunch and afternoon snack we go outside almost daily weather permitting we do craft’s and baking activites etc there are plenty more things we do but to much to write if you are interested please shoot me an e-mail or feel free to call me personally @ xxx-xxx-xxxx Thank’s so much and have a great day!!!!

    Just as long as she’s not teaching punctuation, capitalization, homonyms, and pluralization.

    Here’s how you know I’m a gigantic geek (other than the myriad other ways you know I’m a gigantic geek if you read this blog on a regular basis): I spent way too long trying to decide what she thinks the rules for pluralization with an apostrophe are. For example, why do spot’s, opening’s, year’s, thing’s, name’s, color’s, craft’s, and thank’s get apostrophes to make them plural, while references, kinds, shapes, numbers, and the second occurrence of things not get subjected to her wanton use of apostrophes to create plurals? After careful consideration, I’ve come to the conclusion that SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHE’S DOING. She’s been huffing the finger paints.

    Thanks for the submissions, ochoco and backlitleo!

  • YSaC, Vol. 503: I see a red pew and I want it painted black.

    In my delirious stream-of-consciousness holiday survival mode, these things go together:

    Free pain! Lots of it!

    Now I know some folks are into that kind of thing, and that’s fine. I just want to point out what a difference a “t” makes. It seems like something you might want to include in your title.

    FREE OIL-BASED PAIN

    @ [Name of] Church.

    No thanks, I’m not Pomponio Algerio. It’s nice to see that religion is sticking to its traditions, though.

    And while we’re on the topic of churches …

    Free Church pews…please them.

    Amanda sends this one in, saying, “The church pews are not pleased by your offering. The church pews demand a tribute of bedazzled Jesus belt buckles.”

    Make it so, or you know what will happen!

    Thanks to Kevin, Jen, and Amanda!

  • YSaC, Vol. 469: In which drmk spends too much time researching guitars.

    Small pervy guitar amp

    I have a small pervy guitar amp that I dont use anymore and I need money so I want to sell it.
    It would come in handy if you dont want to carry around a large amp all the time.
    I would like at least twenty bucks for it lol
    If your interested call or text xxxxxxxxxx

    Andy sends this one in, saying, “A Pervy amp doesn’t sound like a good deal to me. I wouldn’t let it in my house. It’s also not allowed within 100 yards of a school, and it has to check in with its probation officer once a week. Now if it was a Peavey (http://www.peavey.com/) amp, that’d be different.”

    We’ve established before, though, that guitarists aren’t the sharpest lightbulb in the crayon shed. And as if we needed more evidence, here’s an ad sent in by Joel:

    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 468: I would have quoted something off of Version 2.0.

    This is behind a cut because it’s long. And eye-gougingly painful to read. If you are of delicate sensibilities and are offended by inappropriate capitalization and run-on sentences, then — well, then, what the hell are you doing on this blog? But if you are of strong of mind, and think you can withstand the slings and arrows of outrageous grammar, then carry on.
    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 467: Yay team!

    CHERRLEADING COUACH AND OR DANCE COUACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    mMy cherrleading team at [name of high school] colligent does not have a coauch this year and we really need one asap!!! We are not allowed to do any stunting till we have a certified coauch please we really need your help!!!!!!!!
    We are a great group of girls dedicated and passoinite about our work. This would count as volenteer hours for you. Practic and scuedual will work for you we will plan it to how it works for you. Thank you!!

    Your North American public school system at work, ladies and gentlemen. It’s too bad that their dedication and passoin doesn’t extend to, say, their coursework.

    “Gimme an S!
    Gimme a U!
    Gimme a C!
    Gimme a K!

    What’s that spell?

    No, really, what’s that spell? I have no idea.”

    Sometimes the stereotypes just reinforce themselves.

    Thanks to Wren for passing this one along from Kijiji.com! (I’m not going to use 38 exclamation points. I’m tempted to,* but I won’t.)

    *This may not actually be true.