You Suck at Craigslist

Author: drmk

  • YSaC, Vol. 278: I like the papadum chairs. They’re crunchy.

    PAPA-JOHN Chair-$30- OBO – $30

    FOR SALE…..”.Papa John / Pier 1 type chair”…….just the frame…….maybe from the 90’s….but still sturdy and in decent shape….a spray paint job could make it a cool color……all it needs is the cushion…which can be found online or import-type stores…..must be local and willing to pick up…..$30-OBO !!!! ……

    280a280b280c

    Ashley sends this one in, saying, “Umm, I’m confused. Must be willing to pick up’? I thought Papa John’s delivered!  Also, $30 and no toppings? No thank you.”

    So this person knows that this type of chair is available at Pier 1, yet can’t be bothered to go to Pier 1’s website (which is confusingly named www.pier1.com, so I can see where that would be a problem) to check the spelling of papasan. Really? Papa John chair? This has to be the only person in the world who could possibly make that kind of mistake. Right?

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  • YSaC, Vol. 277: Do you think she sings in the shower?

    $940 / 1br – williamsburg loft

    its a 4 bedroom loft style apt. 1 bathroom huge kitchen/living room. 1 stop into manhattan on the L train. tons of bars/restaurants/shopping in the area. amazing roof/view

    if its just for the month thats fine, but theres a chance you can sign the lease in june if everyone gets along

    $940/month plus utilies

    please let me know soon!

    My god, this is like the Best. Apartment. Ever. I get to live with Aretha Franklin and that random hipster dude! Or is that a girl? Who cares! I’d be living with the freakin’ Queen of Soul and a hipster androgynous person who are both wearing massive bows! We could sit around all day making sure that all of our bows match the sofa. And we could worry about that strange glow emanating from the kitchen, but I know Aretha Franklin would protect me from it.

    The hipster dude/tte and I could discuss how great his/her current favorite band is, until three days later when s/he decides they’re too popular to like anymore and that s/he has a new favorite band that nobody’s ever heard of because they haven’t even formed yet. And then Aretha would come in and start bellowing “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” and we’d be like, “Aretha, calm down, we’ll do the dishes in a minute.” And the glittering light from her Swarovski crystal bedazzled bow would light up the New York evening, and oh, how we’d laugh …

  • YSaC, Vol. 276: And keep them off my lawn, too!

    I made an image of the page because this one requires the full context:

    276

    Michael sent this one in. I guess child labor laws don’t apply if the kids are adorable. It’s only the ugly kids that get union representation to keep them from having to work the heavy machinery. If they’re adorable, though, they’re stuck on the assembly line for life. Serves ’em right, those cute little bastards.

  • YSaC, Vol. 275: Canine capitalism

    Sheltie/Lab mix puppy

    He is a sweet puppy only 10 weeks old and gets alone with other dogs and kids(he loves to play) I’m asking a rehoming fee of $150 OBO He need to go ASPS

    273

    Regina (from Things I’ve Learned From Wikipedia) sends this one in with her comments.

    “A few thoughts spring to mind:

    1. D’awwww, he’s so liddle!  Who’s a puppy?!  …okay, got that out of my system.
    2. ASPS?  Do they mean that the puppy has to go to a home with poisonous Egyptian snakes?  I’ve only lived in the area for 8 months, maybe it’s a [location] colloquialism?
    3. Look at that photo.  He’s sitting on a car dashboard, and that car is on the highway.  So his current owners have a poor grasp of both acronyms and basic vehicle safety.  Great.

    Someone adopt this dog As Soon… Permitting Snuggles?  And Save Puppy Stuff? Allowing Several Powerful Smells?  *sigh* I give up.”

    How about And Save it from our Prodigious Stupidity? or As Spot becomes Pavement Splatter? (ew.)

    The “rehoming fee or best offer” is what cements the asshat tag for this one. No, really, we’re not selling our dog; we’re just rehoming him for the highest free market value we can receive for him.

  • YSaC, Vol. 274: Plagiarism FTW.

    This is behind a cut because it’s long. Very long. Remember the last time I said that? Yeah, it’s kind of like that.

    another year older today URRRGG!! read on if you dare to laugh!! – 37

    i have posted here a few times before just having fun, please read below and tell me what you think ? ohhh and drinks on me loljust your dorky/nerdy/goober next door neighbor washing his truck in the drive way waving at you as you walk down the street…lol ( and thinking…”yummy” ) lol
    and the next day in the row ahead of you in church farting and blaming the next guy laughing….

    really, i do work hard, yet play hard..own a business that keeps me hoping yet am flexible being the owner…love to meet new people and know no stangers…all walks of life may contact me , im here to meet people, just like you !!!!! so hit me up…

    can you answr my riddles ? for brownie points !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Q.What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”?
    answer :”??

    Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    anser ??????

    Q –What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

    Answer?

    ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok okkokooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………ok

    hope you like my below list i cam up with to show you a lil about who i am and also in hopes to make you laugh a lil bit…you should be open minded

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  • Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all!

    WHOLE DINNING TABLE – $450

    WHOLE DINNING TABLE AND OTHER BIG CLOSETS THAT YOU CAN USE THAT ARE MADE FROM OVER THAN 65 YEARS AGO WICH IS THE STYLE AND LOOK BEAUTIFUL.YOU WILL NEED A BIG TRUCK TO BRING HE THINGS OUT.THE DINNING TABLE CAN BE SPLIT AND FIT 24 PEOPLE!IT COMES WITH A COVER THAT IS NOT TO HARD AND COVERS THE WOOD THAT LOOKS BEAUTIFUL AND FEELS LIKE IT IS GLASS BUT IT IS NOT.IT COMES WITH 6 CHAIRS,BUT YOU NEED TO ADD MORE CHARS TO MAKE IT 24 PEOPLE .IT WILL NOT HAVE LESS SPACE THAN 24 PEOPLE TO FIT IN.REMEMBER IT IS CHIP FOR THIS PLUS THE CLOSET AND THE SHELVS THAT COME IN ANOTHER CLOSET BUT IT DOES NOT USED FOR CLOSE,IT IS USED FOR GEST FOR A NICE LOOK BUT YOU CAN STELL PUT STOFF ON OR IN IT.SO E-MAIL ME KNOW AT YOU CAN CALL ANY TIME FOR MORE INF. AT CELL # xxx-xxx-xxxx [NAME]60@YAHOO.COM!

    I PERSONALLY BELEVE THAT THE REESON CHILDERN CANT FIND THE DINNING TABLE IS BECUASE NOT ALL PEPLE HAVE DINNING TABLES, AND IF YOU HAVE A DINNING TABLE BUT ONLE 6 CHARS YOU NEAD MAOR CHARS TO MAKE IT 24 PEOPLE. AND THE CLOSET THAT DOES USED FOR GEST NOT PEPLE BUT THERE ARE SHELVS FOR STOFF. AND THE IRAQ AND THE SOUTH AFRICA EVERYWHERE LIKE SUCH AS.

    Edited to add: This was submitted by Victoria. Thanks!