This is behind a cut because it’s long. Very long. Remember the last time I said that? Yeah, it’s kind of like that.
another year older today URRRGG!! read on if you dare to laugh!! – 37
i have posted here a few times before just having fun, please read below and tell me what you think ? ohhh and drinks on me loljust your dorky/nerdy/goober next door neighbor washing his truck in the drive way waving at you as you walk down the street…lol ( and thinking…”yummy” ) lol
and the next day in the row ahead of you in church farting and blaming the next guy laughing….
really, i do work hard, yet play hard..own a business that keeps me hoping yet am flexible being the owner…love to meet new people and know no stangers…all walks of life may contact me , im here to meet people, just like you !!!!! so hit me up…
can you answr my riddles ? for brownie points !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q.What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”?
answer :”??
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
anser ??????
Q –What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
Answer?
ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok okkokooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………ok
hope you like my below list i cam up with to show you a lil about who i am and also in hopes to make you laugh a lil bit…you should be open minded
1. I dislike people who drive slow in the fast lane
” stopr texting and drive !!! “””
2. Making out is fun but getting to second base is even better đ
what the heck does it take to get to 3rd base ?
3. I prefer blockbuster over movies .. i have hot tub and tv on patio
4. I have never been convicted of a crime ( is masterbation a crime ? ) hummmm if so, im getting life with our parol
5. I have never had a 3some( well once in a dream i did )
6. I always put the cap back on the toothpaste
7. I understand doing little things is what matters most …sooo true
8. I took four years of French in high school and yet I still canât speak it.
and wished i would have taken spanish instead being i am a contractor…go figure
9. I am half pirate and half Comanche Indian (really just Irish boy )
10. I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be alright.
11. I love the snow ….cool peeing in it too
12. I know San Diego is not Spanish for whaleâs vagina
13. I have been swimming nude…okokok when i was younger..now only in the hot tub
14. I believe there is an appropriate quote for every occasion.
15. I am jealous of Mclovin ..he is my hero
I think i will call myself Mcslappin or Mclicken
16. I’ll wait for you even if you’re late
17. I love bologna ..even fried…yuk
i know that it is impossible to lick your own elbow !!
18. Iâm 35 years old. Not old, but old enough
19. I think Richard Pryor is the funniest man ever ..ok bysides myself at myself
20. I know CPR
21.I won’t make you wear lame sweaters when we go to family functions
22. I love the rain (especially making out in the rain)
23. I am a dork & a goober
24. I always made my own lunch for school. As a result, I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich almost every day from elementary through junior high. now i bbq 4 nights a week
25. I know that LMFAO means Laughing My ****ing Ass Off. but still dont know what tgif means
26. I love talking about relationships and human interaction.
I am the best I have ever “had” ( practice makes perfect) lol
27. I am a people watcher …its so funny at times
28. I donât text message while driving ( to much )exspecially in the fast lane
29. Chicken Cesar Salad is one of my favorite foods⌠probably more so than steak. ummmmm ok not true
30. I try to never ever ever to say never.
31. My breakfastâs in the morning will change your life
32. I dislike being asked to provide the name of my favorite song, film, book, etc – because I find these things change moment to moment.
33. I hate the idea of being caged in – in actuality or metaphorically.
34. I’m great with numbers but horrible with names. terrible speller
35. I’ll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching TV
and maybe even a nice foot massage
36. I still believe a man’s word should be his bond.
37. I donât ****ing swear
38. Iâve never been Punkâd but have been visually seduced in a bar
39. On our 4 month anniversary I will surprise you by wearing nothing but a smile and a cowboy hat …and maybe some boots
40. I come with an extended warranty …but not with battiers
41. I would like to resurrect words and slang from the past and reinstate them in the modern vocabulary.
42. I can become bored with a job very easily
43. I am not the political type
44. I don’t tear the tags off my mattresses til I get home
45. I always stop to pet dogs outside of grocery stores
46. I’m likely to have a different pair of socks every time you see me
47. Bon Jovi rocks but so does george straight
48. I Walk the Line but some times fall off
49. I’ve never read Playboy for the articles .hmmmmmmm
50. I prefer the toilet paper to roll off the top
51. I’ve never been in one of Tommy Lee’s movies but whatched some close to it!
52. I find excessive use of exclamation marks annoying.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
53. I drive a 2006 Ford
54. I prefer to be continually challenged
55. It is difficult for other people to embarrass me.
56. I think people who say “and this is where the magic happens” when showing off their bedrooms lack a great deal of imagination.
57. I know that handcuffs aren’t just for the cops
58. I recycle ..except beer
59. I know all 17 different ways to tie a shoelace
60. I donât do drugs
my favorite fantasy is ALL OF THEM
61. I am a aries baby
62. Iâm a wealth of useless knowledge, but itâs not even the kind of useless knowledge that is useful in Trivial Pursuit.
63. I can give a mean back rub ..was a texas lic. massage therapist for 4 years
64. I think O.J. is still out looking for the killer
65. I think Tom Brady is better than Joe Montana
66. I can’t stand soap operas
67. I am a chronic text messager (except while driving) ..in the fast lane
68. I say wash not warsh
69. I say âpopââŚnot coke or soda yest i am a true txas cowboy
I sometimes think to myself, “self” what if………
70. My favorite color is blue
71. I don’t chew tobacco
72. I take a shower every day
73. I like it when rub my bald head!…yeap the “other one(s)”
74. I am the worst pool player ever but better than you
75. I am training for a marathon card game
76. I donât like going to the doctor. Itâs not a fear or anything, I just donât see the point unless itâs REALLY serious.
77. I havenât asked my parents for money since I was 16-years old.
78. I am a mommas boy
79. I don’t care what music we listen to in the car
80. I’ve never eaten a bon-bon in my life
81. When you wash the dishes it turns me on …mmmmmmmm
82. I’ll take out the garbage
83. Iâm a smart-ass,
84. Iâve never fallen asleep in class.
85. I won’t ever forget your birthday, if you remind me when mine is coming
86. I think most ladies after reading my post will go and try and lick thier own elbow
if you can do it!!!!!!! i definatly want drinks with you !!! lol
hope you injoyed ! have a great week and yes, today really is my b-day
Yep, it’s his birthday, where he’s 37 according to the title and 35 according to item #18.
But that’s not the half of it. This just gets weirder and weirder the more I look at it, and I’ve rewritten this entry at least three times since adding it to the queue.
See, for my day job, I’m an academic. I deal with plagiarism on a daily basis. Here’s a pro tip, folks: if you’re going to plagiarize, make sure that there isn’t a noticeable difference in tone/grammar/spelling from the writing that is definitely your own. For example, the phrase “I would like to resurrect words and slang from the past and reinstate them in the modern vocabulary” doesn’t sound like something a guy like this (let’s call him Sparky) would say, right?
Search for that phrase, and you come up with this website — which also contains some of the other entries on Sparky’s list (numbers 14, 30, 32, 33, 36, 41, 42, 54, 55, and 56). [In the process of poking around that website, I realized that the person who originally wrote that list passed away in December 2006 and her friends and family are maintaining the website in memoriam. I emailed them for permission to post this and link to the site, which they graciously granted.]
I kept looking, though, because while that explained some of the anomalous entries in the list, it didn’t explain all of them. (I mentioned that I’m an academic, right? I’m all about completeness.) More searching revealed that five of the entries on Sparky’s list (#8, 24, 26, 50, and 52) are on this website.
Now here’s where things get strange. I also found Sparky’s ENTIRE LIST on a MySpace account. I’m not linking to it (because honestly, the guy whose MySpace account it is could kick my ass from here to Thursday), but it is NOT Sparky’s MySpace page (unless Sparky suddenly became 23 years old, lives in a completely different part of the country, and has started shaving his head bald — which, by the way, explains the “I like it when you rub my bald head” entry in the list).
So the intrigue continues: what was remarkable about this MySpace dude’s list (entitled “Why I F***ing Rock”) is that it contains ALL of the bits that I found plagiarized from the other websites as well, and more! This implies that the logical chain of events is that MySpace dude plagiarized parts of HIS list from (at least) the two websites I’ve linked to above … and then our Craigslist Sparky copied MySpace dude’s list directly (adding his wonderful editorial comments and asides).
So Sparky appears to have plagiarized his list … from a plagiarized list. It’s so meta.
The moral of the story is: There’s nothing that impresses me more about potential suitors than their ability to cut and paste their deepest, most meaningful feelings from someone else’s website.
I’m happy to report that I am not most ladies, and I did not attempt to lick my elbow. Additionally, I am grateful that there is not a single fish-patterned shirt anywhere in my closet.
I had to try, simply because he asserted it could not be done. Does it count if your tongue makes contact precisely one-half inch away from the tip of the elbow?
How many penises does this guy have? Here’s why I ask that: “I like it when rub my bald head!âŚyeap the âother one(s)â” The use of a parenthetical ‘s’, “(s)”, is not possessive, it means “one or more”. Not that I’m a voyeur of such things, but maybe he should post a picture of his hydra. And as an aside, what noun should he have used in the middle of “when rub”? I have some suggestions: you, I, pants, dogs, policewomen, the FedEx guys, steel pads, passing motorists, high voltage cables, eagle talons…
I got stuck on the part that implies there are 17 different ways to tie shoes. I feel like a total moron for only knowing two. Am I supposed to be tying my shoes using sailing knots?
Even if you did know 17 ways to tie your shoes…why would that be useful? I get the whole variety=spice of life thing, but there must be better ways to change it up in the mornings.
In my foray into internet dating, I actually was contacted by a man who sounds EXACTLY LIKE THIS. He gave me the heebie jeebies, and we never met up. One night, he actually e-mailed a picture of himself to me while he was getting ready for bed… in Mickey Mouse jammies. So… manly. I ran the other way! Fast!
Something about particular line that made me think that this post was really written by a 12-year-old, and maybe the kid sent in pictures of this dad or something.
So I really tried to read all of this but I crapped out somewhere in the 50’s-as I suspect most everyone else did. I was kind of confused about him trying to bring back no longer extant words when he mangles simple English like “ok bysides myself at myself.” Does he mean Richard Pryor is the funniest guy besides himself or two of him equals one Richard Pryor? So, the plagiarism does explain a lot although it doesn’t really explain why he felt the need to plagiarize someone else’s thoughts for an ad about himself.
Also, random list aside I do think he’s kinda cute in the picture. Is that bad? Also, does the plagiarism mean we can’t hot tub now?
I think the “bysides myself at myself” thing was supposed to mean that he (Sparky) finds himself funnier (i.e., laughts at himself more) than he finds Richard Pryor.
It’s pretty likely these people plagiarize others’ lists because they simply cannot sit down and come up with 100 interesting things about themselves.
I suppose they can mark it up to modesty; but it is more likely that they are just boring and unimaginative; so they have to steal someone else’s fire (and in this case, taint them with their low-brow addages).
I was reading that site belonging to ‘Sarcasmo’. It’s really quite witty and engaging. Sort of sad isn’t it… that she passed away? đ
Definately sad. I had to stop reading because I kept thinking how cool it sounded and how it’d be nice to meet her but then remember that’s impossible:(
For some reason, I love the long ones the best, (165, 221, 234, 257) Just more opportunity to laugh, I suppose. Could you start a tag for this? “Too much information!”
This Vanessa couldn’t make it all the way through, either. His birthday “URRRGG!!” scares me. I’m not laughing at his age – There are plenty of other things in his post for me to laugh at.
Are those FISH on his shirt? Why on Earth would a grown man wear a shirt with fish on them? And where did he find jeans that high-waisted? Talk about your fixer-uppers.
I was a little worried about him questioning how to get to third base… we may have someone attempting to best Steve Carell(40 year old virgin reference)
I am a little disappointed. He said I would laugh if I read on and I didn’t, at least not until I got to your commentary. His post made me want to push that tv into the hot tub;)
I actually did read the whole thing, though I’m not sure why. I guess, like the owner of this blog, I am just stubborn. Though, I have to say… I read Sarcasmo’s blog… and that list is exactly like me. It was starting to freak me out.
I wonder if some of these people who proudly proclaim that they “don’t do drugs” ever realise that this isn’t necessarily a thing that every single reader will necessarily view as giving automatic plus-points.
I like riddles, so after some guessing I looked up the answers to these.
Q.What is the difference between âoooooohâand âaaaaaaahâ?
About three inches.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Because women do not have eyes on their boobs. (I knew that one.)
Q âWhat famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
Niagara Falls (which erodes about 2 1/2 feet every year.)
NONE of these are riddles, you jackass. They’re two lame jokes and a trivia question. And who abbreviates “Question” differently three times in a row? Thank you for stealing a few more minutes of my life.
Yet another long, rambling list from someone with Asperger’s. And the fact that it was plagiarized makes it even more Aspie (copying ideas from other people is a trait of some Aspies…some more so than others).
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