You Suck at Craigslist

Author: drmk

  • YSaC, Vol. LXXIV

    This one’s below a cut because the ad is long.

    Morton’s Steak and Seafood dinner for 2 for $99 Certificate – $2

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  • YSaC, Vol. LXXIII

    ple help

    some thats nows how to fix dish washer iam not suer wants worng with if u can fixed it ple call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Somehow, I get the feeling that sucking at Craigslist may be the least of this person’s worries.

    To be honest, my drunken late night text messages might resemble this style of writing, although there’s slightly less discussion of malfunctioning dishwashers. It’s more like “OMG Britney were did I leve teh kar?” and “Pris, call me, iam not suer but i thkin i hve ur Manolos adn undrwrs.” (I lead a fabulous life.)

    (Submitted by MS — thanks!)

  • YSaC, Vol. LXXII

    BUY MY VOTE FOR THE 2008 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION!! – $10000

    Fight the naysayers who told you your vote doesn’t count. Fight them by making it count twice.

    Double your impact on the 2008 electoral polls by adding my vote to your cause.

    The vote for sale will go to the state of Pennsylvania.

    I will need your selections and a deposit of $2,500 by October 28th. (one week before election day)

    You know what’s extra great about this? In several states, it’s illegal to sell your vote. It’s always nice to see someone setting themselves up for a felony on Craigslist.

  • YSaC, Vol. LXXI

    Lot of Scissors – $18

    This lot of scissors contains 75 pairs of fiscar, academic and others. What a great deal!!! Cash only, pick-up only. Sold as-is. Contact if necessary.

    That is, in fact, a lot of scissors. The title is correct, both literally and figuratively.

    Let’s leave aside the question of “Why would anyone need that many scissors?” You never know when you’re going to have a scissor-related emergency, and having 75 pairs of scissors can help avert many a crisis.

    Personally, I’m more amused at the great care and detail in the arrangement of the display of the lot of scissors. These scissors either belong to Martha Stewart, or the person’s a bit OCD. (Actually, those two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive, now that I think about it.)
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  • YSaC, Vol. LXX

    Exercize Bike and Rowing Machine – $35

    I have an older model exercize bike and rowing machine. I really only want to sell as a pair to get them out of here. Bike is is good working order. I’m not to sure about the rowing machine. I never used it. Please email the posting for questions/offers or to set up a time to see them. Thanks for looking!!! Cash only and buyer must pick up., but I can help you load them.

    Hey, staging your items outdoors in your overgrown and weed-ridden lawn obviously works for vacuum cleaners, why not for ancient exercise equipment as well?
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  • YSaC, Vol. YXIX

    flaggers stop/slow stick, hardhat and vest – $75

    “Flagging” stick used by roadside flaggers, orange hardhat and yellow vest.
    Like new. The vest is not in picture because it is at another location but will be included in the set if purchased.

    One of my lifelong dreams has been to be able to go out into the street and randomly flag traffic. Now, thanks to this person who is selling government property, I can! I can make people slow down for no reason! Even better, since the other side of the sign says “STOP”, I can cause traffic jams for my own amusement.

    Thanks, Craigslist seller of Department of Transportation-owned items! You’re the best. My life is complete now.