Have an upcoming parade? We built this castle for a “candyland” themed parade. It is light-weight (made of tissue and chicken wire) and built on pallets for easy lifting to your trailer or wagon. It stands a little over 6′ tall and about 5 feet wide. Hoping someone can use…it was a first place winner! If you pick up up….it’s yours!
Wait … if someone buys a pre-made parade float, how are they going to do the obligatory montage scene in the movie? You know the one — first you show the kids hard at work on the float, then you show the clumsy kid knocking something over and everyone laughing with (not at) him … then you show the hero and heroine conveniently working on the same part of the float, and something cute happens and they both smile and fall in love instantly … someone decorates something differently than what they’re supposed to and everyone comes over and looks at them disapprovingly but lovingly … and all the while, a catchy, peppy rock song is playing in the background. At the end, everyone collapses in exhaustion onto their impossibly perfect float, with flowers and sawdust impeccably placed in their hair to make them look adorable.
Seriously, you can’t just BUY a parade float … you have to montage one. Everyone knows that.
Also: Why is Santa dressed as the Pope of Candyland?
If folks have listings they’d like to submit to You Suck at Craigslist, please submit them to yousuckatcraigslist at gmail dot com — this is a change of email address from before.
Please send submissions! There’s lots of sucking out there on Craigslist, and I don’t have the time to find it all by myself.
There is a giant box of soy nuts at the corner of Rose and E. Park. Please take it and eat it!
Is it really a good idea to pick up food that’s been left on a street corner? That aside, am I supposed to eat the soy nuts themselves, or the box? I can’t tell.
I need you to take care of the house with occasional bedroom romps (about three a week)
You get your own room and bath.
I have two small outdoor/indoor young dogs.
Alcohol and 420 are OK. No other drugs.
Ew. This can’t be a good idea.
Also, the math just doesn’t add up. Let’s say the going rate is $100/hr for, um, services. (I have no idea what the going rate is, by the way.) That would be about $300 per week, or $1200 per month, that he’s not paying for those particular services … not to mention the “take care of the house” bit. That’s really a lot to, um, put out in exchange for rent.
And you know that it’s going to be more than three times a week.
Ew.
Edited to add: In the larger version of the house pic, there’s a kidnapper van sitting in the driveway. Yet another bad sign (as if you needed another one!).
Seriously, would it have killed you to take a hose to it before taking a picture of the years and years of … dirt — I’m going to go with dirt here, because the alternative is unthinkable — that have built up on it?
