I need you to take care of the house with occasional bedroom romps (about three a week)
You get your own room and bath.
I have two small outdoor/indoor young dogs.
Alcohol and 420 are OK. No other drugs.
Ew. This can’t be a good idea.
Also, the math just doesn’t add up. Let’s say the going rate is $100/hr for, um, services. (I have no idea what the going rate is, by the way.) That would be about $300 per week, or $1200 per month, that he’s not paying for those particular services … not to mention the “take care of the house” bit. That’s really a lot to, um, put out in exchange for rent.
And you know that it’s going to be more than three times a week.
Ew.
Edited to add: In the larger version of the house pic, there’s a kidnapper van sitting in the driveway. Yet another bad sign (as if you needed another one!).
I’m really enjoying the “alcohol and 420 okay line.” Because that’s what I want in a relationship. A place where I get free rent in exchange for a little nookie and some house work, where I can smoke pot and become an alcoholic at my leisure. Then again, if I have sunk so low as to sleep with that guy for rent, pot and alcohol might be my only comforts.
But the dogs are cute. I might have taken the guy up on it at one time, based solely on the fact that he owns two dogs and they are cute. Wait, no. No, I never was that desperate. Carry on, then.
Crete had done it!
He had found the solution to his problem, picking up the phone and dialing with a speed that only those in fear of losing their brains can muster.
“Hello Sparky?” he said, in his best Marilyn Monroe imitation. “My name is Grams and I am the Right Female…”
Let’s see, “light housework” goes for about $45 per visit in my town. Let’s assume a two-person crew, and $10 for overhead per visit; but can schedule 20 different residents a week. That’s $15 net x 20 is $300, or about $1200 per month.
For the other, ah, services, let’s cipher, oh, $100 and a $20 tip three times a day. That’s $360 a day (less some overhead, one presumes). But, only “working” five days a week, that’s $1750 per week, and $5250 per month.
Gee, that latter wage does not suggest needing a ‘free’ room. In fact, sounce like dunce-pimp Spark’ would need to get off his addled-by-dope butt and brush up his housekeeping skills, or wind up doing tricks in his own garage. (And those will have to be some spiffy sea lion immitations, too.)
So…just the license, this guy wants, without a wife?
Windrose
No, you stay here, and don’t let anyone in, except for me, until I tell you.
LimeLolly
Hell… I want a wife… 3 times a week – to clean my house, including the bedroom. The other activities, I can handle.
CapnMac
Ding!!!
Ah, see, Spark’s mom bought all his homework on CL; so he’s only semi-literate, and a wastrel and lolling layabout. Mom bought him a house, too, but spark is too lazy to clean it (and mom is in a Home, now, siezed up after a lifetime’s perdition of cleaning up after her get).
It;s too complicated to go out and find a real relationship as it cuts into the PS3 time; so CL got Mom all that stuff, so maybe it will offer up a breain-damaged porn star who is very bad at math–and it will all be happy hijinx that work out in the end, like in all the h’wood movies mom used to rent.
After all, self-esteem os for sale, right? Everything else on CL is, isn’t it?
It’s 6:10 PM in San Diego County. Do you know where your umbrella is? How about your waders, inflatable raft, and weeks supply of dry clothes? We semi-desert dwellers aren’t used to all this liquid coming from the sky.
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