Get me hot and satisfied – w4m
I’LL BE AT HOME ALONE TONIGHT AND WANT TO MEET YOU! I AM A VERY ATTRACTIVE YO LOOKING FOR SOME FUN. PLEASE, BE AT LEAST . MY YAHOO ID IS HZEYES.
I love when Craigslist spam bots go horribly, hilariously wrong. Like this:
WANTED LIVE PORE TAPE – m4w – 40
I AM LOOKING FOR LIVE PORE TAPES REAL WOMAN
Katey sends this in, saying, “I knew my large pores would be appreciated someday!”
Dude. You are On. The. Internet. You managed to press the right buttons (well, most of them) to post an ad on Craigslist. HOW CAN YOU NOT FIND YOUR OWN PORN? I mean, maybe spelling “porn” right would help, but still … I manage to find porn even when I’m NOT looking for it, and an hour or so later I have to close the window.
Plus, this was in men seeking women. If he’s looking for a real woman in there, he’s screwed — they’re all bots and ads.
shy me – 22
I’m a dumb ass , now i have to take a bus cause they took my dl(got one month left), have abit of a problem with a head and some of my friends tell me im an asshole ,got no front teeth, live in my parents basement ,never finish or if i think about it never stared the school that would explain my spelling(i thik the last homework i did was in 3 grade) and on top of it all just lost my job(god that looks bad)ha but so far in last six years that i spend in canada over all i did allrigt, i’m 5.11, 165pounds,still got my 6 (not like its matters)im white ,well fit ,grey eyes,with dirty blonde hair,intelegent inaf to realize the level of my personal stupidity,sick and tierd of the mind games shit,will not lie or betray.
If some one ask me what i’m looking for in the girl i gona have to say that she must be well fit,able to think(i hate stupidity) and she cant be to much of a bitch everything else dont realy matter
So if u think u can deal with the sad reality a have just presented send me an e mail and we go from there
O ye i do have good sence of humor (i can laugh at my self)
This is like a litany of personals sadness. Lost his drivers license, his friends think he’s a jerk, lives at home, dropped out of school, unemployed … wow. At least he claims he can laugh at himself. What’s the line from Hedwig and the Angry Inch? “I have to laugh … because I’ll cry if I don’t.” That seems apropos here.
I think we might actually have to start that “I can’t imagine why you’re still single” tag. That’s a bit long, though — any suggestions about a shorter tag name?
I have no problem with fetishes in general. Sometimes people send me perfectly well-written listings for fetishes like spanking or bondage or S/M — I don’t post these, because as far as I’m concerned, whatever two consenting adults want to do in the privacy of their own home is fine by me.
These entries deal with a particular fetish that might strike some as odd, but a search reveals that this is a pretty common request on Craigslist. I’m not posting them because I think the fetish is weird; I’m posting them because they’re textbook examples of how not to post fetish requests. Carry on.
spencer mason – w4m – 20
hey spencer.. if you’re reading this… just wanted to say hello… and stuff and yeah we moved to santa clara from san jose.. everythings cool here…finish your studies and get the fuck back into the states. cuz i miss jerking you off in the woods..or at crazy places… hope you read this…write back..
lots of love…
mom and soni’m attaching a pic of buddy.. he’s at 50 lbs. now
It’s just a typical love letter, right? You know, the usual — hello, stuff, we moved, I miss jerking you off, write back, love … and then you get to the signature.
Now, as Charlene points out, it’s probably a nickname for his girlfriend and their pet, “Buddy”, but STILL. I don’t know about the rest of you, but if a letter contains the phrase “jerking you off in the woods,” I personally wouldn’t want the word “Mom” being used anywhere near that.
Young and pregnant? – m4w – 32
Did the baby’s father leave you? Do you have no where to turn? About to be kicked out of your home?
I’m looking for a pregnant girl to take care of. I want to date you during the term of your pregnancy. Come live with me and I’ll take care of you and make sure that all your needs are met. You won’t have to work or worry about anything! After the baby is born, I’ll set you up to get a decent start in life.
Remember, this is under romantic relationship, which is what I want .I’m serious, hope you are as well.
Tell me about your circumstances: age, how far along you are, etc.
Translation: I have a fetish for young pregnant girls because they have already exhibited poor judgment and have nobody around to tell them that this is a spectacularly bad idea.
*shudder*
Megan sent this one in — thanks!
