YSaC, Vol. 306: Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

2009 May 19

I have no problem with fetishes in general. Sometimes people send me perfectly well-written listings for fetishes like spanking or bondage or S/M — I don’t post these, because as far as I’m concerned, whatever two consenting adults want to do in the privacy of their own home is fine by me.

These entries deal with a particular fetish that might strike some as odd, but a search reveals that this is a pretty common request on Craigslist. I’m not posting them because I think the fetish is weird; I’m posting them because they’re textbook examples of how not to post fetish requests. Carry on.

((Milking Mothers wanted, let me help you with your stress)) – 41

Hello, are you a mom who is making too much milk? I know it can be very painful if it’s not released. I would love to assist you in that process. I’ve had a fetish for breast milk for a long time. Looking to help a lactating mother out,. Can be strickly a relief thing and nothing more. Or if your interested in persuing a more romantic and naughty arrangement that is acceptible too but seeking to help you relieve your stress. I’m a 41 year old male. Very safe, clean and discreet. If you could use the help and looking for someone who would relish the opportunity to assist you then drop me a line. Have a great day

What amuses me about this one is the philanthropic approach. “I know this can be a problem for you, so I will give of myself to help YOU out. Oh, by the way, I have a lactating fetish, but this isn’t about me, it’s about YOU.”

And then there’s this guy:

are you lactating? – m4w – 31

ok im a freak or whatever you want to call me but i really want to sucle milk from the boosum please let me i will do what ever you want to thank you for such an honor

So it’s a sad testament to society that this guy has to begin his ad that way, but the lack of punctuation, capitalization, grammar, and creative spelling of suckle and bosom are an even sadder testament.

anyone lactating? – m4w – 34

weird request… I know….. but i’ll be honest.. it really turned me on when my partner was lactating and i could drink from her breasts.. looking for someone that would be willing to get together to play in the afternoons (on going) and a few evenings next week.

you can be married or single obviously you had to have been pregnant….. I am an educated, clean cut and need to be very discreet about this. please describe yourself and what you like to do..

hope to hear from you

And again, just in case anyone is wondering … “need to be very discreet” means “I’m married”. Getting together to “play in the afternoons (ongoing)” means that his partner/wife works; “a few evenings next week” means that she already has plans those nights so he thinks he can get away with it.

Thanks to Jian and Marissa for the posts!

20 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 May 19
    corn flakes permalink

    I bet Louis Pasteur is pissed.

    1. I like that this is the 2nd or 3rd recent fetish/sexual post that was written to seem like they were some kind of selfless hero.

    2. I read boosum as Bassoon. I was thinking it was nice of him to have an interest in increasingly irrelevant woodwind instruments.

    Adores: 13
  2. 2009 May 19
    Colleen in MA permalink

    Actually … after all of the passive-aggressiveness we usually see in these ads, these ads are kind of, I don’t know, refreshing?

    Bada bing bada boom! I’ll be here all week, folks.

    Adores: 2
  3. 2009 May 19

    Somebody really needs to give these guys a Nobel Prize or something.

    Adores: 3
  4. 2009 May 19
    Count Blah permalink

    My understanding is that a woman’s body makes milk based on demand, so a) a woman wouldn’t produce “too much milk” and b) if she did, getting it siphoned off by some dude would encourage her ducts to KEEP MAKING that amount. Am I wrong?

    Adores: 5
    • 2009 May 19
      jackie31337 permalink

      I had an oversupply when my daughter was born. It took several months for it to even out, but eventually it did even out to match the demand. And yes, you are correct in that if you have an oversupply and pump (or nurse a guy with a breastmilk fetish), it does encourage your body to keep making that much or possibly to make more.

      Adores: 5
  5. 2009 May 19
    jackie31337 permalink

    “obviously you had to have been pregnant”

    Not necessarily. Technically you don’t even need to be female to lactate; you just need the right hormones. Wouldn’t that be something if a lactating man replied to one of these ads?

    Adores: 13
  6. 2009 May 19

    Okay, so um…My very first boyfriend made some creepy comment about wanting to drink my milk. I guess there was nipple licking or something and he started going on about “having your milk with my lunch.” Oh my god. Oh my god. I don’t think he understood anything about biology, not to mention anything about NOT BEING THE CREEPIEST GUY EVER. I have never lactated. I was not planning to lactate. I…I hate you for making me remember this traumatic moment.

    *cough* Carry on.

    Adores: 10
  7. 2009 May 19
    Brit permalink

    Just playing Devil’s Advocate here, but “must be discrete” can also mean that the poster has friends/family who are very close-minded. Maybe he’s just afraid of being judged.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 May 19
      kristen55 permalink

      Or maybe he’s a politician. You know how awkward that can be when you get called out on FoxNews for something like this!

      Adores: 5
      • 2009 May 22
        D / DM permalink

        Awkward indeed. And since this guy is obviously a Republican, it would be even more embarrassing when Fox News “accidentally” called him a Democrat 3 times. Not that they’ve ever done that before, like with Mark Foley or anything.

        Adores: 6
    • 2009 May 20
      Courtney permalink

      Well he said that he discovered the fetish when his partner was pregnant…. unless he had a thing for his business partner because she was lactating, I’m guessing this guy is in a committed relationship. I’m also guessing that the partner wasn’t into it because he could have kept her lactating at least some even after she stopped nursing the baby – if she were nursing him, it’s very likely that her body would keep producing (very much like how some mothers will nurse until the kid is old enough to ask for it). Anyway, he’s not worried about being judged, he’s worried about getting caught.

      Adores: 2
  8. 2009 May 19

    Weird. But as weird as… this? http://casualencounters.com/blog/2009/04/16/jerking-off-in-my-model-train-room/

    Adores: 1
  9. 2009 May 20

    There’s a Grapes of Wrath joke in here somewhere, but I’m too lazy to figure it out.

    Adores: 4
  10. 2009 May 20
    Julia permalink

    LOL@ Regina! I knew that dude was just creepy, not malnurished…

    And “I learned of my fetish while my partner was lactating” means he has wife and kids, which is a total dating turn on.

    Adores: 3
  11. 2009 May 20
    Jill permalink

    I think you need to send the link for this to the guy that likes young pregnant ladies! After they’ve been left by the guy that knocked them up and had the baby so he doesn’t want them anymore, he can set them up making a little money for a few more months:)

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 May 22
      D / DM permalink

      Damn right! People helping people. That’s what Craigslist is all about!

      Adores: 2
  12. 2009 May 21
    Victoria permalink

    As a lactating mother, can I just say…EWWWW!!!

    Adores: 2
  13. 2009 August 17
    Hiyame permalink

    Damnit… I was drinking milk! Blech… Man… Life…

    Adores: 2
  14. 2009 December 16
    Shane-For-Wax permalink

    Certain medications can cause men and women to lactate. No pregnancy needed…

    Adores: 1

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.