YSaC, Vol. 305: The heartwarming story of a woman, her kayak, and central air.

2009 May 18
by drmk

Martha is a regular and long-time contributor to YSaC (she has her own tag!), and she sent in this account of her real-life adventures on Craigslist:

So I’m actually trying to barter my ridiculously expensive kayak for central air.  Here’s the ad I found…

BARTER ****You need a CENTRAL A/C or FURNACE ? (Rosemount , Farmington, Hampton)

********BARTER HVAC SKILLS for cash **********Or ?

Heating , Venting , Air Conditioning

Central Air —- 13 seer 2 ton Central Air Unit $775.00

A-Coils as low as $195.00

Furnaces — 80% 70,000 Btu $578.00 FREE DELIVERY , FREE DISPOSAL with install Ready to ——– ” GET ER DONE ” ——- CALL xxx-xxx-8082

So I email the guy, and here’s the ensuing email trail:


I have this ad out on Craigslist (http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/bar/xxxxxxxxxx.html) and am interested in bartering for C/A installed on my (small) home.  All ductwork is in place, all that would be needed is a slab and unit.

Please let me know if you are interested, it seems like it would be a fair trade.


— On Mon, 4/27/09, CentralAirAsshat@juno.com  wrote:
From: CentralAirAsshat@juno.com
Subject: Central Air Our Reply ! !
To: xxxxxxxx@yahoo.com
Date: Monday, April 27, 2009, 4:15 PM

Really have no need for a KAYAK.
When you sell your KAYAK then email.
Your Phone Number and City you live in.
So we can get your CENTRAL AIR installed.
Looking forward to serving you.


From: “Martha F”
To: “CentralAirAsshat@juno.com”

You do know that BARTERING means for goods, not cash, right?  You should really remove your ad from the barter section, since you are really just advertising your services for CASH ONLY (which is selling).


Looking forward to not doing business with you.

Martha says, “I really had to hold myself back from calling him a moron.  And I never heard back from him, but this jackhole is still posting the same ads.  Apparently he didn’t check the dictionary link.”

Thanks, Martha! I hope you get your kayak bartered AND your central air installed.

25 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 May 18
    corn flakes permalink

    I think the AMAZING Thing.
    He CORRESPONDS in email like AD.
    THERE was no NEED to cap for importance.
    And COMPLETELY disregard complete SENTENCES.

    Adores: 12
  2. 2009 May 18
    Colleen in MA permalink

    Well, the thing is, if he doesn’t want or need a kayak, then he doesn’t have to barter, right?

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 May 18

      Right. A simple ‘no thanks, not interested in a kayak’ would have been great. However, he states “Barter my CENTRAL AIR SKILLS for CASH.” as if I was a complete idiot who couldn’t read that he was only bartering for cash (which is not bartering).

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 May 18
        Amaia permalink

        Plus, he says in the ad “barter…for cash…Or ?” which implies that he is open to accepting other items for barter.

        Adores: 2
      • 2009 May 19
        Colleen in MA permalink

        Ah, I see! I guess I am so used to rudeness from CL people that it went over my head. How sad is that??

        Adores: 2
  3. 2009 May 18

    Dude’s insane in the membrane. Or possibly the author of a brilliant new spam technique. Cornering the market in the markets without corners?

    Adores: 2
  4. 2010 May 2
    Julia permalink

    This one doesn’t seem like it merits the “asshat” tag…

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 2

      Even though he’s determined that he’ll only ‘barter’ for cash?

      Adores: 3
  5. 2011 July 3

    Dearest Sparky,
    Since you only barter for cash, I have the perfect deal for you. I will barter you twenty dollars if you come to my family reunion and let us throw raw meat at you. My cousin was going to do it, but he chickened out at the last minute.

    Adores: 11
  6. 2011 July 3
    Windrose permalink

    I wonder what advantage there is to advertising his business in the barter section and then insisting on cash only. Seems he would be alienating his customer base, as with Martha. It must be a tax dodge, he writes it off as a loss every year.

    Adores: 0
  7. 2011 July 3

    Words are hard.

    Adores: 4
  8. 2011 July 3
    Addicted Reader permalink

    Happy Holiday Weekend Sunday, snarkers!

    Sparky is a moron. What more need be said?

    Adores: 0
  9. 2011 July 3

    I would LIKE TO barter my HALF-EATEN pickle for the ability to NOT write random words IN ALL CAPS. $50 or BEST offer.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 3

      I’ll trade you $50 TO EAT the OTHER half…

      *Hi corner!*

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 July 3
      Ziaheart permalink

      “LIKE TO barter.
      HALF-EATEN pickle.
      For the ability to NOT write.
      Random words IN ALL CAPS.
      To write in FULL sentences.
      And to not insert PERIODS.
      And line BREAKS in random places.
      $50 or BEST offer.”

      Fixed it.

      Adores: 3
  10. 2011 July 3

    1. Barter KAYAK for money.

    2. Barter money for CENTRAL AIR SKILLS.

    3. Replace money-based economy with “barter-based” economy that SUSPICIOUSLY RESEMBLES the money-based economy that you replaced.

    4. ?????

    5. PROFIT!

    6. Or maybe not.

    Adores: 6
  11. 2011 July 3

    Dear SPARKY,

    I will BARTER COMPOSTION SKILLS for cash***************or?

    Adores: 1
  12. 2011 July 3
    CapnMac permalink

    Got nothing. Nothing in trade, and less in cash.

    Adores: 0
  13. 2011 July 3

    He doesn’t want to barter an airconditioner for a kayak, he wants to “barter” for cash or a question mark

    See if he takes any exclamation points !!!!!!!!

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 July 3
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Nope. But interrobangs might be acceptable.

      Adores: 2
  14. 2011 July 3

    I have an or but is slightly worn.

    Adores: 1
  15. 2011 July 4
    Windrose permalink

    Ghostie, here’s the rest of your honor. Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Amphoe Kut Chum!

    Adores: 0

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