You Suck at Craigslist

Category: free

  • YSaC, Vol. 262: Today’s lesson — the singulare tantum.

    FREE UNDERWEARS!!!

    anyboody want some free underwears? i got 9 mens large breefs. desent shape, no big holes, no skid marks. i didtn wear them hardly much and dont fit no more. my loose is you’re gain!

    257

    Juliet sends this one in, saying, “I do like the variety of underwear displayed. You have the leg-hugging shorts, lots of basic black (it’s always chic, a man’s version of the little black dress), and the  velour couch-print speedo-style; but my favourite for sure are the beigey-pinky briefs. It doesn’t get any sexier than those. And no skid marks? How awesome is that? Cuz, when I want free underwears, skid marks are a dealbreaker. So are big holes, although I don’t mind a few small ones. One has to have standards when it comes to free underwears. I can’t just take just any free underwears from just anyboody. And best of all, their loose is my gain! How can anyoone pass up such a great offer?”

    Yup, that about covers it. Unlike those leopard-print speedos.

    Is it really geeky of me to be amused that the phrase singulare tantum has a plural form? Yeah, I thought so.

  • YSaC, Vol. 225: I think that’s Tip #242.

    Books and other things

    Free books
    -New American Standard Bible/Updated Edition with maps, still in box
    -The Time of Christmas, The Time of Easter, The Time of the Church Parents Guide, Activity Books and CD great for Sunday School or home schooling
    -battery operated pencil sharpener
    -Girl scout beanie
    Stop the Meeting I want to Get off by Scott Snair
    -269 amazing sex tips and tricks for women by Anne Hooper & Phillip Hodson
    -Readers Digest Condensed Books Volume One 1984

    Also search [name] for lots of inexpensive things on sale

    225

    So let’s see … you’re a good, wholesome person, giving away a bible and Sunday school materials … and a book on “269 amazing sex tips”.

    I don’t think I want to know how the pencil sharpener fits in there.

    I am amused at the new, euphemistic meaning a book with the title of Stop the Meeting, I Want to Get Off takes on in this context. I mean, I’ve wanted to do that in meetings before, too, but I can control myself.

  • YSaC, Vol. 219: Protected by dirt and junk since 2003.

    HEAD BOARD FOR WATER BED

    IT WILL CLEAN UP

    219

    Well, thank goodness. Tell it to start in the bathroom — it’s a mess in there!

    And if this wasn’t the fantasy bedroom furniture you had in mind while you were searching Craigslist, there’s always this, below the cut:

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  • YSaC, Vol. 217: A symphony of plaid.

    HIDEABED COUCH

    com in git dis couch pleeze
    oh, and itz got a bed in it
    it be on da sidewawk at 1702 Lincoln ave
    com git b4 it gitz wet
    oh, and it workz

    217

    All right, it is no longer cool or “1337” to substitute a “z” for an “s”. This makes it official.

  • YSaC, Vol. 207: The horse creeps me out too.

    lots of crap oh and some cool stuff to

    i am hoping to not have to throw this stuff away becaust it can be fun my son just has to much stuff n toys and so do i so keep an eye out there will be lots more stuff for free soon but please if you want any of this stuff please come get it my cat wont use the cat beds (she likes mine) the horse creeps the hell out of me but it still works yes it has damage but it hase never hurt my son it even makes noises the chair needs a little tlc or saw to turn it in to fire wood the basket would be good for a plant or something on a porch the computer moniter works just fine i got a better one the sponge bob tent is indoor out door not waer proof but if you had a little one then they will love it no damage we just have like 10 of thees thingsthe sit n spin very self explanatory except to my 4 year old who just cant grasp the concept yes that is a frog back pack with wheels and exstendable handle hidable back pack straps n all dont get to excited in all its about a foot tall the basketball hoop is ment for the pool but being as we dont have a pool where i live we just used it in doors inflates and folds up flat and twists up small some how no holes on ball and if it gets a hole it can easly be replaced by a beach ball just put it in the fabric cover the pirats of the carribean sleep over sleeping bag was never used he got this one ans a cars one at the same birthday (he likes cars) the pig is a chair along with the spiderman thing but it makes noise that is if you put batries in it i never did the blue dog is just that blue (from blues clues)if you want anything feel free to email me at xxxx_xxx@yahoo.com

    Kirsten sends us this one, saying, “There was no picture with this ad.  I guess this Craigslister was confident that her illustrative writing would give us a mental image of her junk pile.”

    So here’s a contest: In one breath, read the above aloud as quickly as you can and see how far you get through it, and post your results.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXCVII

    Variations on a(n unfortunately) recurring theme:

    Urinary leg bag

    Hey I know this is really strange but….I had surgery last week and had a catheter….they sent me home with a Leg Bag that I NEVER used…it has been opened but not used…I have the bag and leg straps if anyone needs or is interested.
    I know its wierd but I hate to throw away if someone really needs this.

    You know, I’m all for “reduce, reuse, recycle” … but some things just are not meant to be recycled, even if they haven’t been used. This just might be one of them. (Sent in by Leslie.)

    But wait, there’s more! (Of course there is.)

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