You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 219: Protected by dirt and junk since 2003.

Written by

drmk

in

,

HEAD BOARD FOR WATER BED

IT WILL CLEAN UP

219

Well, thank goodness. Tell it to start in the bathroom — it’s a mess in there!

And if this wasn’t the fantasy bedroom furniture you had in mind while you were searching Craigslist, there’s always this, below the cut:

Gorgeous Bedroom Set Today, Maybe Tomorrow

Queen size with 2 night tables and large dresser.
Cost over $5,000.00 new.

Only minor scratches on metal foot rail, which can be easily taken care of.

In truck, ready to take to storage.

Please make offer.

Please call Theo at (xxx) xxx-xxxx

219b219c

219d219e

He’s right about one thing: maybe tomorrow, when he cleans off all of the crap from the bedroom set, it will be gorgeous. Maybe.

Or do you think he means that it’s beautiful today, and maybe will be beautiful tomorrow? Is the bedroom set a shape-shifter? Or does he think that when he removes the years worth of accumulated junk from it, it will cease to be the beautiful thing it is today?

Maybe it’s really a modern art piece that is a social commentary on the wasteful habits of mankind. The Apple CRT monitor from the late 90s is a metaphor for recycling, and the Amazon.com box on top of the bed is represents man’s inhumanity to man. (Something always has to represent man’s inhumanity to man in modern art, after all.)

Comments

32 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 219: Protected by dirt and junk since 2003.”

  1. TeDiouS Avatar
    TeDiouS

    ummm…not actually seeing a headboard in that top one. Is this like one of those “Where’s Waldo” pictures?

  2. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    The wooden thing on top is a headboard. The cutout in the middle is for a mirror, and the doors on either side are small storage areas.

    I know this because an ex of mine had that exact headboard (and a waterbed) in the late 80s. (Actually, it was the same ex who had the Godflesh poster, for those who are keeping track.) There’s a reason he’s an ex!

  3. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    I’m pretty sure I had one date with the owner of the crap covered bed. Yes one date. But I never actually saw the bedroom….I was so frightened by all the crap in the living room, and completely convinced that if I sat on his crap couch, a critter would come flying out of it. *sigh*

    1. SilvaNoir Avatar
      SilvaNoir

      Good move… I’d be afraid of bugs, mold and other nasty things.

  4. candace Avatar
    candace

    I’m pretty excited about seeing a headboard ‘clean up’…do you think it will vacuum and wash the dishes? I can see that it looks to be busy attacking that pile of trash…

  5. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    HEAD FOR WATER BOARD BED,
    ———————————–
    IT WILL COME CLEAN

    1. kelli Avatar
      kelli

      It wasn’t until the third time that I read your comment that I realized you should be in the corner.

      1. ToBScholarly Avatar
        ToBScholarly

        I am beginning to think he should never LEAVE the corner.

  6. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Hey, I had two teenagers in the house at one time. The bedroom full of crap lacks a certain dirty dishes and spoiling food ambiance.

    1. Smedley Avatar
      Smedley

      Smedley is still sinnin’! I think they got Miss Lola in a preemptive strike, however.

      This reminds me of the “Friends” episode where Ross is dating the garbage girl and it ends with Monica going over to garbage girls’ apartment and begs to clean the place up.

  7. SisterLyle Avatar
    SisterLyle

    The head board will come clean with enough interrogation. You be nice cop… I’ll be mean cop.

    1. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      Why do you always get to be mean cop? Maybe I want to be mean cop, sometimes.

      Look, I even brought my wood scraper.

    2. Lara Avatar
      Lara

      Ok head board, where were you on the night of May 21? Don’t make me get Sister Lyle, she’s a mean bitch of an owl.

      1. SisterLyle Avatar
        SisterLyle

        Who were you with on that night? WHO? WHO, WHO??

  8. Lara Avatar
    Lara

    My offer for the bottom bedroom set is a spot on the show Hoarders.

    1. ToBScholarly Avatar
      ToBScholarly

      I was thinking the same thing!

      Every time I watch that show I can only make it through the first half. I spend the second half cleaning my house.

      1. cleaseltheweasel Avatar
        cleaseltheweasel

        Same here. My husband hates watching it with me because every few minutes I go “See, I’m not THAT bad!”

      2. SilvaNoir Avatar
        SilvaNoir

        Me too! Every time that show comes on I’m hit by the urge to clean and organize!

        1. SisterLyle Avatar
          SisterLyle

          Just talking about it is giving me urges to do my dishes.

        2. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          My birds benefit from that show, even though I’ve never watched it. I am in general concerned that someone will see how many birds we have and think we are hoarders. Their cages are clean, not overcrowded, right now the love birds are having a flight night, and everyone has fresh food and water. The birds are happy, healthy, and well loved.

  9. ToBScholarly Avatar
    ToBScholarly

    I am still here as well. And in protest of not being raptured, I skipped church this morning.

    The first picture gives me vertigo. To me, it looks like the headboard is suspended from the tree and I am looking up at it. And every time I do, I feel slightly queasy.

    Of course, most pictures from YSaC make me slightly queasy, but usually for other reasons.

  10. Lara Avatar
    Lara

    If this hadn’t been published so long ago I would have suspected they thought the head board would be raptured. I suspect it was not raptured where ever it is now. It looks like a seriously wicked head board. It was getting it on with the armour armorer amoure Aunt closet.

  11. CapnMac Avatar
    CapnMac

    The waterbed headboard I find disturbing less for the photo composition than for how it seems to have a semi-lunar notch made in its top.

    Being old enough to remember waterbeds in their heyday (including being in college in the late 70s early 80s) and exposed (for want of a better term) to the entire range of design choices the “bed furniture” included.

    So, my memory does not include a giant cut-out in the headboard (and in the days before baffles and compartments, when all w/b were “enhanced tidal motion” a person will notice such things).

    Having “semi-lunar” fire up in my head, plus “out in the woods” causes more than one squicky image of bodged-up bed-guillotine wacky-hick-inventor inventions.

    Which makes the cooler perched atop the h/b in the photo all the more chilling to see.

    Which makes the dealers, but-clearly-not-meth-dealers apartment picture rather homey and comforting in a “I’m tired of sweating in armor and Issue polyester dealing with you doper vagrants again (and clean the freakin’ kitchen!)” sort of way.

  12. TacoMagic Avatar
    TacoMagic

    I absolutely adore those periodic bedroom sets. It’s a daily discovery of randomized quality!

    Today it’s stacked milk crates, but tomorrow it might be mahogany inlaid with mother-of-pearl or maybe termite infested cedar! Who knows?!

    1. kelli Avatar
      kelli

      Who knows?!

      The Shadow knows

      1. TacoMagic Avatar
        TacoMagic

        Niiiiiice.

      2. SisterLyle Avatar
        SisterLyle

        Well played, Kelli, well played.

  13. Addicted Reader Avatar
    Addicted Reader

    I’ll only take them if they come with all the junk. It makes them more comfy.

  14. SisterLyle Avatar
    SisterLyle

    OT

    Heh

    /OT

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Cute. 8)

  15. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Well, GC and ToB, here are your Punchity Punch Punches!

    G’night, Pepperinge Eye!

  16. tigprincess Avatar
    tigprincess

    Hi, tigprincess is still here, still unraptured, even adjusting for London time ….. I wanted to be left for 5 months with all the other sinners for one hell of a party but even that has been denied me. Maybe they need Cat Math lessons?
    ..therefore I’ll have to pay my car repairs (its in for MOT test and needs some sorting out…)

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