Tag: classy

  • YSaC, Vol. CXLVI

    Selling pets is prohibited on Craigslist. Sadly, that doesn’t stop people from posting them. Luckily for us, some people post them poorly.

    6 month old terrier 4 sale – $200


    Friendly 6 month old Jack Russel Terrier mixed with a Pitbull needs a good, caring, nurturing home.

    Don’t you think the seller could have found a slightly more flattering picture of the dog to post?

    In my mind, the dog lunged for the photographer’s throat right after this picture was taken. I know I would have.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXLIII

    Puppies for give away.


    I have eight puppies, the mother is boxer mixed and the father is an american pit bull terrier. I have five females and three males that are very cute and sweet. Some are all different colors like their mom and some are redish colored like their father. They are six weeks old today. I would like them to go to responsable people who love animals. You can contact me, Corey or my girl friend, Ursula at xxx-xxx-xxxx. The picture is of the mother and the father when he was a puppy.

    Yep, these puppies should go to someone responsible … like someone who puts a cigarette in their dog’s mouth. You know, someone that responsible.

    Do I have a tag for “asshat” yet? Should I?

    Submitted by Martha — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXXVII

    HALF KARATE RING MUST SELL! – $500


    The ring is antiquish looking and very ellegant. I’ve loved the time I’ve had with it, but I must sell it. It has a circular setting and a thin band. On the band there are four diamons the align each side. THe setting is first, a circle of diamonds( small) then second another circle of diamonds( there bigger then the other ones) then third about a fourth of karate of a diamond in the middle. It’s very flashy, but not too much. It’s got the right amount of class. If your interested please contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx or xxxxxxxxx@msn.com

    The half judo rings usually go for much, much more. I’d be worried about the ring trying to kick my ass, though — even if it only half-knows karate, that’s still a lot more than I know.

    Or maybe it’s a ring with Wonder Twins powers — maybe there’s a matching ring out there that, if you touch them together, you end up with full karate ass-kicking powers. That’d be fun.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXXVI

    DAMN RIGHT…. I ALREADY KNOW – 29


    IF UR ELEGANT,SEXY& INTELLIGENT,IF UR CONSIDERED A DIME FELINE,THEN POSTING IS FOR U, CAUSE UR THE REASON IM ON CL AT THIS TIME. IF UR DANGEROUSLY FLAVORISH,SO FLY THAT ONCE SEEN MY EYES WOULD SAVOR IT,WHERE THERE ONCE WAS HESITATION,IM DONE WITH ALL THE PLAYIN,NOW IM CONIDERING LOOKING FOR U AS MY ONLY FAVORITE. IM FINDING MYSELF WANTING THAT PERFECT MATCH,U KNOW WHERE OUR HEARTS & SOUL BEGIN 2 MATCH & HONESTLY HONEYDROP PLEASE TELL ME WHATS “EFFIN” WITH THAT? ON A MISSION 2 BUILD WITH U ON SOME REAL “S**T, SOME HEARTFELT & POSITIVE ISSUES, USING TRANQUILITY & STABILITY TO CARESS UR SPIRITUAL,B4 EVEN THINKING ABOUT THE PHYSICAL.BECAUSE THEN R CONNECTION WILL B A REFLECTION OF MY CONSTANT & STEADY STRIVIN, SO THAT U WILL KNOW THAT IVE NEVER STOPPED REALIZIN,THAT U TRULY R & ALWAYS WILL B 2 ME ,MY PRINCESS CUT DIAMOND.SO UNTIL I CAN USE MY VOCAL ORGANISM,I HOPE IVE LEFT U WITH JUST A HINT OF MY SINCERE MAGNETISM,ILL END THIS POSTING SINCERE & COMPLETED STR8T FROM THE HEART WITH ZERO HYPOCRITICAL SENTENCES,JUST A REFLECTION OF MY HEART & WHAT IM ABOUT,IN CLOSING JUST WHAT MY TRUE ESSENCE IS.IF THIS POSTING SPEAKS 2 U & UR FEELING THIS,PLEASE LEAVE ME A MESSAGE.{ ME & U AGAINST THE WORLD BABY!!!}

    Blondie submits this saying, “Um. I think he’s trying to rhyme. I think. What’s a dime feline?”

    Well, Blondie … Someone with the name Dime Feline is on Facebook, and from the one picture I can see she looks “dangerously flavorish.” Perhaps we have a match? Maybe he could consider looking for her as his only favorite? (There might be others, but they obviously wouldn’t be his favorites.)

    Unfortunately, it says she’s in NY, and our prospective paramour was in the South, so that’s going to be a problem; after all, he wants to use his “vocal organism.” [I’m not even sure if that’s legal.] So it looks as though my attempts at matchmaking are for naught.

    But at least there are zero hypocritical sentences, even if that doesn’t quite rhyme with “essence is”. That’s a better rhyme than “strivin”, “realizin” and “diamond”, anyway.

    And it’s a darn sight better than the people who just want to cheat on their wives.

    Thanks for the submission, Blondie!

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXX

    IT’S GETTING COLD!!! TIME FOR NEW WORM CARPET


    [sound of needle scratching across record]

    What?

    That’s an image I really didn’t want to have in my head. I’ll never look at shag carpets the same way again.

    The other amusing thing about this ad is …

    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXVII

    Anthic white ceiling fan – $30


    This ceiling fan has 4 lamps and it it is very good condition.

    Nothing says “good condition antique white ceiling fan” like a picture of someone holding up the fan to the ceiling in their garage.