You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: bad math

  • YSaC, Vol. 434: It’s waiting to take you away.

    Regular readers might remember the Case of the Missing Drawer. I think we may have found a post that solves that problem, and establishes the principle of the Conservation of Drawers in the meantime:

    TALL 5 DRAWER DRESSER – $65

    FOR SALE:

    SOLID PINE 5 DRAWER DRESSER. THIS DRESSER IS 53 1/4 ” HIGH BY 17 3/4″ WIDE BY 18″ DEEP. VERY STURDY AND HEAVY. IF INTERESTED PLEASE CALL xxx-xxx-xxxx. THANKS FOR LOOKING.

    434

    It’s the postulated 6-drawer 5-drawer dresser! And, clearly, the one drawer is not subject to the laws of physics. That must be our magical mystery drawer.

    What? Why, yes, I’ll accept the Nobel Prize in Physics for the theory of the Conservation of Drawers! What an honor.

    Thanks to Jake for sending this in; Jake, I’ll split the medal with you, but the cash is mine!

  • YSaC, Vol. 416: Whatever you do, don’t cross the … drawers.

    5 Drawer Dresser – $30

    5 Drawer Dresser. In good Condition. We are moving soon and need to sell it. Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx if interested.

    416

    The ordinary reader would look at this and think, “They obviously made a typo and meant to say a four drawer dresser. Twice.” But we, we are not the ordinary reader, are we? We recognize that this dresser is obviously owned by someone who is not constrained by simple physical principles; someone who is capable of postulating spaces and dimensions — and drawers! — that don’t exist. That’s right, as improbable as it may seem, this dresser is owned by, and most likely intended for, a string theorist.

    So what do we put in our imaginary drawer? (The Imaginary Drawers would be a great name for a band, wouldn’t it?) Oooh, we could put our stuff in the imaginary drawer! But if we put real stuff in the imaginary drawer, that might cause a total protonic reversal. Or something.

    Let’s see if anyone else has any ideas about what we can keep in magical dressers.

    Dresser

    Looking for a decent dresser if anyone wants to get rid of one…could use one for my son and my clothes. Please email. Thank you.

    This person could use four drawers for her clothes, and the extra magical fifth drawer to keep her son in. It’s like something straight out a Seinfeld episode. It’s perfect!

    Thanks to Christine and Eric for the posts!

  • YSaC, Vol. 405: One, two, three … ummmmm …

    Squier by Fender with Fender amp & Epiphone Les Paul Standard – $1000

    I am selling two of my guitars. I have a Squier stratocaster and an Epiphone Les Paul Standard. Also including a small fender bronco amp. Both guitars are in excellent shape and are ready to play. the squier is black and the epiphone is a cherry sunburst. for both guitars and amp i would like to get $1000, but am willing to take best offer. I’ll sell the Squier and amp for $220 and the Epiphone for $450 if you prefer to buy individually. (only asking that cause that’s what i paid and i want to at LEAST get my money back). For information, text Andrew at xxx-xxx-xxxx or e-mail xxxxxxxxxxandrew@yahoo.com. thanks

    Okay, you’re selling both for $1000, but you’ll take $220 for the Squier and amp and $450 for the Epiphone. Which, if I’m not mistaken, is … $670. Which is … less. Even if you meant to say you’d take $220 for the Squier and another $220 for the amp, that would still only add up to $890. Which is still less. So yes, I’d like to take all three, but I’d like to buy them individually, please.

    Of course there’s more … (more…)