You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 405: One, two, three … ummmmm …

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drmk

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Squier by Fender with Fender amp & Epiphone Les Paul Standard – $1000

I am selling two of my guitars. I have a Squier stratocaster and an Epiphone Les Paul Standard. Also including a small fender bronco amp. Both guitars are in excellent shape and are ready to play. the squier is black and the epiphone is a cherry sunburst. for both guitars and amp i would like to get $1000, but am willing to take best offer. I’ll sell the Squier and amp for $220 and the Epiphone for $450 if you prefer to buy individually. (only asking that cause that’s what i paid and i want to at LEAST get my money back). For information, text Andrew at xxx-xxx-xxxx or e-mail xxxxxxxxxxandrew@yahoo.com. thanks

Okay, you’re selling both for $1000, but you’ll take $220 for the Squier and amp and $450 for the Epiphone. Which, if I’m not mistaken, is … $670. Which is … less. Even if you meant to say you’d take $220 for the Squier and another $220 for the amp, that would still only add up to $890. Which is still less. So yes, I’d like to take all three, but I’d like to buy them individually, please.

Of course there’s more …

peavy amp and ibanez guitar – $250

i have a 40 watt peavy amp that works with bass or guitar and a ibanez gio guitar both sound great
100 for the amp
120 for the guitar

405

*bangs head … on desk*

Wait, that’s it! It’s all the headbanging these crazy rock-n-roll guitarists are doing, isn’t it! They (you know, the mysterious they) were right when they said that rock music would destroy your brain — they just didn’t know that it would do so by eating away at the part of your brain required to do simple addition.

One wonders how often these guys get taken advantage of by club owners.

“We’ll pay you $150 to play for two hours.”

“No way, that’s not enough.”

“Okay, how about $125 for 120 minutes?”

“Awesome, no problem.”

Thanks to Chris and Emma for the posts. By the way, is that a llama outside the window in the picture? Llamas llove guitars.

Comments

36 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 405: One, two, three … ummmmm …”

  1. ??? Avatar
    ???

    Seriously, the best part is the phantom llama in the window gazing longingly at the guitar. Band names, anyone?

    1. Caro Avatar
      Caro

      Bruce Badmath and the Phantom Llamas appearing tonight. Tickets $10 each, or $25 for two.

      1. luvsllamas Avatar
        luvsllamas

        I just peed a little.

      2. Heidi Avatar
        Heidi

        caro! I will come hear Bruce Badmath and the Phantom Llamas…will they ever play west of the Mississippi? West of the Rockies? (aside from CA, of course)…Oh, I want to hear them play

        hahahahahaaaa!

  2. kelli Avatar
    kelli

    I’d love to be their agent. “I can take 10% or $1 out of every five, which do you prefer? ” “The second, everyone knows 1 is less than 10”

  3. DanTM Avatar
    DanTM

    “(only asking that cause that’s what i paid and i want to at LEAST get my money back)”

    Does someone want to explain depreciation to this guy? Hi, I’m selling a 2003 Mazda 3 for $25,000 – I’ll listen to other offers as long as it’s more than I initially paid. There’s a CD player in there, I paid $150 for it so it’s gotta be worth a thousand by now.

    Unless this guy is Eddie Vedder, his guitar has not increased in value during his ownership.

    1. Heather Avatar
      Heather

      I get so tired of Craigslist ads that inform us of the original cost of the item. “I paid $700 for this puce paisley couch in 1984, therefore I am selling it for $650 –what a good deal!” etc. etc. repeat forever.

      People DON’T have any idea about depreciation. Especially depreciation of tacky, beat-up crap.

  4. ay Avatar
    ay

    Alpaca?

    http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama

    1. Traveler Avatar
      Traveler

      Looks more like a mini wookiee. Or Cousin Itt.

  5. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    Ahh … the artist’s soul and mathematics do not mix. As a designer I get that. But heck, I live on cash, not rays from heaven – I check my math twice!

    1. Fraulein N Avatar
      Fraulein N

      Exactly. I suck at math, but damn if I wouldn’t read something over again and again (and again) before posting it on Craigslist.

      1. Heather Avatar
        Heather

        Don’t ALL computers these days have calculators? Is it that hard to double check?

        1. eadg Avatar
          eadg

          ..or how about just single check?

  6. Cindy in CA Avatar
    Cindy in CA

    “Both guitars are in excellent shape and are ready to play ”

    THAT’s what makes them cost more. geez.

    1. Cathy D Avatar
      Cathy D

      I’m selling a guitar that is in excellent shape, but it is NOT ready to play. It has performance anxiety. Perhaps if you give it time, coax it out of it’s case with soothing poetry and some red wine, you might be able to play Purple Haze by the end of the year…

  7. YSaC, Vol. 405: One, two, three … ummmmm … | You Suck at Craigslist | guitarwave.com

    […] the rest here:  YSaC, Vol. 405: One, two, three … ummmmm … | You Suck at Craigslist Social Bookmarking Tags: epiphone, excellent-shape, selling-two, squier, […]

  8. ZenKeys88 Avatar
    ZenKeys88

    I can’t help but point out that a NEW Squier strat does not cost more than $180 (and it isn’t worth more than about $50 imho) on average. With amp, that comes out to maybe $250. Math aside, who does he expect to sell these to?

    The Epiphone Les Paul retails for near $480 new, so $450 MIGHT be reasonable if he’s kept it in a glass case since he bought it XD

    1. Ladycrim Avatar
      Ladycrim

      Unless he assumes that Les Paul’s recent passing somehow increases the guitar’s value. Those Les Pauls are rare, you know! It’s not like you can find them in every guitar store.

      1. Heather Avatar
        Heather

        Perhaps the original poster thinks that Les himself has personally hewn every guitar since the inception of the business? It’s hard to determine the psychology behind these postings sometimes, other than about 75% of Craigslisters seem to qualify for special ed. services.

  9. Nathan Avatar
    Nathan

    Anyone else reminded of that scene in This is Spinal Tap with the 18″ stonehenge?

    1. Jules Avatar
      Jules

      …and of course:
      “But this one goes up to 11!”

      At least Nigel could count.

  10. YSaC, Vol. 405: One, two, three … ummmmm … | You Suck at Craigslist | Epiphone Electric Guitar

    […] the rest here: YSaC, Vol. 405: One, two, three … ummmmm … | You Suck at Craigslist addthis_url = […]

  11. MoxieHart Avatar
    MoxieHart

    …So Billy Squier’s NOT for sale?

  12. Mrphysic Avatar
    Mrphysic

    Well clearly these guys are just used to being part of an awesome band where the whole is always much greater than the sum of it’s parts.

    But totally annoying that they want to get back AT LEAST what they paid – only a tard would read that and then think that this is a good deal – it implies that these items can easily be bought more cheaply in the shops……it makes me wanna spit (cue llama)

    I guess we all wondered about whatever happened to those Enron guys….they dropped out, rocked out, and bought llamas.

  13. casualencounters.com/blog/ Avatar
    casualencounters.com/blog/

    Squier guitars are Fender’s “budget” brand too… it’s not like a Strat or a Les Paul where POSSIBLY over time the thing might appreciate in value…

  14. Chris Avatar
    Chris

    Having been around musicians all my adult life, I can say without hesitation that they are the dumbest group of individuals on the planet. If they weren’t banging away on drums, they would be home eating paste and watching sponge bob repeats. That being said, I picture here a girlfriend that said..”I dont even have money for the electric bill so you’d better sell those GD pieces of shit guitars that you never play RIGHT NOW.” Their sentimental value far exceeds their retail value dontcha know…

    1. Alex Avatar
      Alex

      If they don’t actually want to sell them, then maybe pricing them far above their actual value is stupid like a fox.

  15. Laughingrat Avatar
    Laughingrat

    I am strongly reminded of this scene from “Animal Crackers.” The pertinent section starts at about 5:55.

    1. Ladycrim Avatar
      Ladycrim

      Classic!

  16. Lola Avatar
    Lola

    The “llamas love guitars” has now triggered a “United breaks guitars” earbug for me.

  17. coreyflowers Avatar
    coreyflowers

    And to top it all off, even though the word is right there in the picture AND HE OWNS IT, he still prefers to spell Peavey without the 2nd “E” both times.

  18. Anne Avatar
    Anne

    I’m not sure I see a llama. Or an alpaca. The head looks too small. Emu, perhaps? People keep those as pets. I don’t know. It doesn’t quite look like an emu, either.

    Craigslist Rorschach tests, ftw!

  19. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    That mysterious figure in the window is the man from Mars ’cause now he only eats guitars.

    1. PhantomBanker Avatar
      PhantomBanker

      Maybe it’s some broad that’s hovering?

  20. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    I can’t wait until this Sparky tries to sell his house:

    I paid $125,000 for it 30 years ago, so I want at least that much!

    *looks at La Jolla address, ocean view, pool with cabana boy*

    Sold!

  21. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Dave, you have become the Champion of Weekend Snark (CWS) and you have the bruises to prove it! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Einstein!

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