You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: maybe it’s just me

  • YSaC, Vol. CXII

    Pygmy Goats!

    We have 5 pygmy goats up for sale!

    We would ask that two of them stay together seeing as they have been together for the last 4 years! One is a whether and the other a female! Please contact me for specific info on these two! ( Only serious inquires please)

    The other three are mother with two daughters! Daughters were born around memorial day! Very cute one is brown and the other white! Mom is brown and white! Would prefer to see these girls go to a home together if possible! we are asking $100 each so $300 for all 3 of them! Want to see them go to a good home! They all have their horns but are very friendly! No ones ever been butted by them! The mama is a little on the big side for a pygmy! Please contact me if interested! Again Only serious inquires please! We are setting the price firm right now for these three! we are interested in trading for other livestock or something else if we feel its right for us so don’t be shy to make offers for trades but the price is firm for now! thanks for your interest and I can send pics to those who are interested!

    Goats! Goats! GOATS! We’ve got goats! Five goats! But! We! Will! Only! Sell! Them! In! Sets! Sets of goats! They’re brown! And white! They’re brown and white! They’re goats! They’re giant pygmy goats!

    Based on this, I’d be worried the goats might be a little excitable. Maybe whoever takes the goats can offer the sellers an alternative form of punctuation.

    *Full disclosure: I added in three exclamation marks to the original post; the others were all there to begin with. I’m sure they just forgot them in their goat-induced frenzy.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXI

    Retro Farrah Fawcett Pillow – $12

    Retro Farrah Fawcett pillow. 1976. Includes signiature. Clean and in great shape. Measures 8 x 14. Will only increasein value.

    There is absolutely nothing you can do to convince me that a Farrah Fawcett pillow from 1976 (a) is worth $12, and (b) will increase in value over time.

    It’s a 32-year old pillow. I don’t even want to think about it. *shudders* I think I need to take a shower now.

  • YSaC, Vol. CVII

    for sale sign – $25

    for sale by owner sigh $25 cash.

    I hadn’t thought about it before, but I guess if you’re trying to sell a “For Sale” sign, you can’t just put it out on your lawn with a “For Sale” sign on it, could you?

    It’s kind of meta.

  • YSaC, Vol. CII

    All of you suck so badlyyy losers (shush)

    i hate this site its bullshit none of it is real

    Whew! I was worried there for a second … I thought people might actually be posting stupid things on this website for real!

    I’m so relieved to know that this is all just an elaborate ruse; that makes me feel better about humanity in general.

    But if the website isn’t real, and these listings aren’t real, maybe it means I shouldn’t be making fun of them? Or does it mean that I’m also not real? Ow, my head hurts.

    This was posted in “household services”. But clearly if it’s not real, it doesn’t matter what section it was posted in.

  • YSaC, Vol. C

    Shakespeare had nothing compared to the dramas that play out on Craigslist, which happen over the strangest things. Witness this opera in three acts on the topic of tree removal, narrated on all sides of the tree-removal romantic triangle:
    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. IC

    I need a girl

    I’ve been so busy with school work that I haven’t had time to go out there and meet the ladies so am here for a little help. I need a girl who likes to be friends and wants to have fun. I know I can please you. Am 6ft 2in, athletic and just about 200lbs. Am not looking for an online friend. I’d like to meet you at Starbucks, a bookstore, the mall or some other public place you like. I would love to leave my tell no here but my add will be flagged so My AIM Screenname is XXXXXXXXXXX. You can email or Im me and we’ll figure out how to meet. Thanks.

    Overall, not bad, but I’d prefer to date a man with a head.

    (Oh, stop it! You know I mean a cranium, with a brain inside it.)

    I guess if you like the Headless Horseman-type, though, this guy could be the real, um, package.

    Submitted by Ann — thanks!