You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: classy

  • YSaC, Vol. 337: The Dead Milkmen did it better.

    Punk looking for Punk Girl – 33

    Im still living at Home, and dont have a Car, so I will understand if no girl wants to answer me back,
    but Im a very nice guy, not to nice, and loves Animals, Im realy into 80’s Hardcore Punk and Punk Rock,
    not todays Bands, Im also a Musician, I like going out to Dinners to eat, renting Movies love Horror,
    um I dont know wha else to say, I love my 2 Cats more then Life, and hate People who abuse Animals,
    anyway if your interested in talking more and are not black, then contact me, and no my hair isnt long
    anymore I have a Skater hair cut.

    338

    Wow! I like going out to dinners to eat too! What are the odds? Most people I know like to go out to dinners to bowl.

    I’m also a big Fan of capitalizing random Nouns and of writing what looks like the Word “SUICIDE” at the Top of old Pictures of Myself.

    But causing that needle-going-off-the-record sound by saying things like “… if your interested in talking more and are not black …”? Yeah, um, I’m not such a big fan of that. (Or of Skater hair cuts.)

    Way to break in that “still single?” tag, there, buddy.

  • YSaC, Vol. 319: At least he’s a self-aware dumbass.

    shy me – 22

    I’m a dumb ass , now i have to take a bus cause they took my dl(got one month left), have abit of a problem with a head and some of my friends tell me im an asshole ,got no front teeth, live in my parents basement ,never finish or if i think about it never stared the school that would explain my spelling(i thik the last homework i did was in 3 grade) and on top of it all just lost my job(god that looks bad)ha but so far in last six years that i spend in canada over all i did allrigt, i’m 5.11, 165pounds,still got my 6 (not like its matters)im white ,well fit ,grey eyes,with dirty blonde hair,intelegent inaf to realize the level of my personal stupidity,sick and tierd of the mind games shit,will not lie or betray.
    If some one ask me what i’m looking for in the girl i gona have to say that she must be well fit,able to think(i hate stupidity) and she cant be to much of a bitch everything else dont realy matter
    So if u think u can deal with the sad reality a have just presented send me an e mail and we go from there
    O ye i do have good sence of humor (i can laugh at my self)

    This is like a litany of personals sadness. Lost his drivers license, his friends think he’s a jerk, lives at home, dropped out of school, unemployed … wow. At least he claims he can laugh at himself. What’s the line from Hedwig and the Angry Inch? “I have to laugh … because I’ll cry if I don’t.” That seems apropos here.

    I think we might actually have to start that “I can’t imagine why you’re still single” tag. That’s a bit long, though — any suggestions about a shorter tag name?

  • YSaC, Vol. 317: I’d go to see “The Droors”, wouldn’t you?

    Chest of Droors and a big fake Plant

    I put this out after the garbage man came by so it will be there for you. Out in the alley, a white chest of droors, but a couple droors are missing, otherwise, it’s made of real wood. There’s also one of those big fake Ficus Trees you see in almost any North Dallas apartment living room corner.
    [address] …. The street is a cul-de-sac and the house is on the circle.

    I’ll try to delete this as soon as it gets picked up, or if you’re on your way, send me an email and I’ll take the post down. It’s 2:32pm.

    This is my lucky day! A chest of droors with a couple droors missing and a generic fake ficus tree like everyone else in the world has! I’ve hit the suburban-classy decorating motherlode! (Well, okay, I’m still looking for that French Prudential chest of droors — that will be the pièce de résistance.)

    Sarah sent this one in saying, “I am shocked that someone could be so illiterate.” She obviously hasn’t spent a lot of time on this blog yet, so let’s help her feel better — at least it wasn’t chester droors. Nobody could ever make that mistake, right?

    chester droors,9 droor dresser and mirror – $250

    All Medium oak, Great condition, Moving must sell, I live in moore oklahoma my name is MARK give me a call at xxx-xxx-xxxx no emails please
    (A GREAT DEAL AT 250)

    Oh. Never mind. That didn’t exactly make things better, did it?

    I’ll be over in the corner weeping at the demise of the English language if you need me.

  • YSaC, Vol. 314: Her name is Rio, and she needs to have huge cans …

    Cover Band Seeks Hot Female Keyboardist w/ Giant Cans!!

    Yup…you read correctly. We are a killer 80’s cover band and if you think you fit…that would be sweet!

    So, maybe I’m crazy, but given that a lot of music from the 80s was primarily synth-based, wouldn’t you be more concerned with whether your keyboard player was competent instead of hot and stacked?

    I mean, the talentless girlfriend has her place in the band, but it’s usually playing tambourine and singing tuneless background vocals into a dead microphone.

    Thanks to Lisa for sending this in!

  • YSaC, Vol. 309: Mirror, mirror …

    vanity mirror with designs – $20

    xxxxxxxxx@bellsouth.net or cfmurphyxx@yahoo.com if interested

    this is a very nice vanity mirror with no imperfections

    309

    Sadly, the lack of imperfections in the vanity mirror itself does not mean that the reflected image also contains no imperfections. I mean, if that’s not a warp in the mirror, then that’s a really odd six-pack he’s got there.

  • YSaC, Vol. 302: Well, that’s disturbing.

    spencer mason – w4m – 20

    hey spencer.. if you’re reading this… just wanted to say hello… and stuff and yeah we moved to santa clara from san jose.. everythings cool here…finish your studies and get the fuck back into the states. cuz i miss jerking you off in the woods..or at crazy places… hope you read this…write back..
    lots of love…
    mom and son

    i’m attaching a pic of buddy.. he’s at 50 lbs. now

    302

    It’s just a typical love letter, right? You know, the usual — hello, stuff, we moved, I miss jerking you off, write back, love … and then you get to the signature.

    Now, as Charlene points out, it’s probably a nickname for his girlfriend and their pet, “Buddy”, but STILL. I don’t know about the rest of you, but if a letter contains the phrase “jerking you off in the woods,” I personally wouldn’t want the word “Mom” being used anywhere near that.