You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: maybe it’s just me

  • YSaC, Vol. 414: Digital killed the film star.

    I didn’t get the subject line of this ad, but it hardly seems necessary:

    minolla camera comes with its own case works good dont need it I have a digitall $60 firm

    cash only please serious inquires only

    susie or cliff xxx-xxx-xxxx

    You sure you don’t need that Minolta, Sparky?

    I’ve never gotten seasick from a picture before, but you’ve managed to do it somehow. The only way this is an acceptable picture to post on Craigslist is if you took it while riding the Tilt-A-Whirl at your local meth-freak-run carnival. In fact, that bedspread sort of looks like someone had too many blueberry Icees and cotton candy.

    Thanks for the submission, Tyler!

  • YSaC, Vol. 411: Next thing you know, people will be buying things in Second Life. Oh, wait.

    Twitter Account — 5,000 followers!!! – $200

    OVER 5000 followerers to tweet your messages to. Many people have a hundred or two.. you can get your blog, website, business, etc out to 5000 people at one time. OVER 5000 people!!! Yes your reading that right. I looked on Ebay and someone wants 100.00 for 300 followers. 200 is a great price for 5000 followers!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 5000.You can use your business name (if still available) and any email you want… I take paypal only.. Or if your in the hudson valley, I’m in fishkill and I can take cash.

    Or you could, you know, open your own free Twitter account and get followers the old fashioned way.

    Here’s the thing that confuses me the most about this — let’s say you start a Twitter account and get 5,000 followers by tweeting things related to happy fluffy bunnies or something. (Everyone loves happy fluffy bunnies, right?) And then you decide, for whatever reason, to sell your happyfluffybunny Twitter account, and it gets bought by someone who, I don’t know, sells steampunk goggles made from old tuna fish cans.

    Suddenly happyfluffybunny is now tweeting about the merits of Chicken of the Sea cans vs. generic cans. Why would the happyfluffybunny people stick around for the SteampunkTuna tweets? Doesn’t anyone ever un-follow anyone on Twitter? I mean, the first time SteampunkTuna starts posting about poptop lids vs can opener lids, wouldn’t his followers drop from 5,000 to 37 immediately? There’s not much of an overlap in the Venn diagram of happyfluffybunny lovers and SteampunkTunaGoggle aficionados.

    Or maybe it’s just me.

    Speaking of Twitter, and me, you should really follow You Suck at Craigslist on Twitter! (See what I did there?) I post random hilarious things there including bonus short Craigslist ads and strange search engine results. (How did someone end up on YSaC by searching for “stewardess flatulence”? Never mind, I don’t want to know.)

    Thanks for the submission, Dani!

  • YSaC, Vol. 408: Kurzsichtiger Epileptikerdachs, in case you were wondering.

    Custom Pink Coffee Table – $5

    Customized coffee table with lower rack and wheels.

    408a408b

    You know, there just isn’t a good way to describe this coffee table. “Customized” isn’t quite the right word, is it?

    Now that I think about it, I’m not sure English HAS the right word to describe this coffee table, since there isn’t a word that means “appears to have been spraypainted by a nearsighted epileptic badger with an anger management problem”. I’m sure German has a word for that, though.

    Thanks to “The Shanimal” for the submission!

  • YSaC, Vol. 403: Wait, I thought you meant a Volkswagen Thing.

    big golf thing

    it is a huge round thing used to hit balls into golf balls babee base balls and foot balls
    its free come and get it
    call me xxx-xxx-xxxx

    I’ve always wanted a big golf thing. I’ve been looking for one for years! Now my life is complete.

    Wait, what?

    Thanks to val_veeta for sending this one in!

    A bit of administrivia: Some eagle-eyed commenters have already noticed the comment scoring option I added over the weekend. Each comment now has a small +1 symbol inside it, which you can click to indicate your approval of a comment. I thought it might be fun — hope you enjoy it!

  • YSaC, Vol. 400: Birds of paradise?

    looking for a A-bird or two

    I am looking for an Attack Bird or a pair of Attack Birds to watch my home while I am at work. I have bad allergies and cannot have an attack dog or cat so I thought a bird would be my next best choice.
    Maybe an attack snake but I dont think you can train those like a bird? If you can please let me know.

    thanks Thomas

    I’ll get to the bird thing in a minute; I’m kind of stuck on the concept of an attack cat. I mean, I’ve known some mean cats in my time, but short of having a panther in your living room, I’m not entirely sure that a cat will fulfill the function this fellow is looking for. I have two cats — yes, I’m halfway to crazy cat lady — and if someone they didn’t know came into the house, their reaction would be to think, “Are YOU going to feed me?” while they fell on the floor and exposed their soft floofy underbellies to the intruder.

    Okay, the bird thing. An attack bird. That you can train. Hmmm. Well, let’s see what we’ve got out there, shall we?

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  • YSaC, Vol. 397: Childhood is priceless. Childcare, not so much.

    need a sitter for 11:00 – $20

    sitter fell through earlier and i have to be at work at 12. my friend will be off at 5 and will come get my son right after. my son plays well with other kids. everyone tells me he’s an angel. and if you dont have kids of your own dont bother calling . and if youre a weirdo, you should be scared. i’ll only trust another mother. if you could come get him that woiuld be great, but i’ll make my way to you if theres no other way. and my name is xxxx by the way. thanks xxx xxx xxxx

    1. You’re offering someone $20 to watch your kid from 11-5 pm. In other words, the price you’re putting on your angel-child’s well-being is $3.33/hr.
    2. Oh, that’s right, you’re also offering to let a stranger pick your child up and take him away with them.
    3. I didn’t realize that mother and weirdo were mutually exclusive categories.
    4. For extra bonus hilarity, you posted this at 9:30 am, and you think you have the ability to be picky.

    I didn’t think it would be possible to find a worse offer than that, but of course I did. This one was from kijiji.com:

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