You Suck at Craigslist

Author: dan

  • YSaC, Vol. 1727: After five it’s a gas

    Thanks to our wonderful readers, it’s been quite some time since the Llamanun and I have had to actually LOOK at Craigslist for blog fodder. We still have plenty of good suggestions in the queue, but just for the heck of it, I decided to see what the “Casual Encounters” section had to offer.

    The problem with looking on “Casual Encounters” for terrible Craigslist posts is that it’s just too easy. It feels like cheating, almost.

    I just want boobs. – m4w

    I just want boobs to play with, maybe more if we both agree.
    No pressure, just fun.Send picture and your age.
    Big or small i like em all.

    NO PICTURE NO REPLY.

    Put BOOBS in the subject line to weed out spam.

    This may be the only person in the world where you put BOOBS in the subject line and he’s less likely to consider it spam.

    Need a tattooed man – w4m

    Do you look like the guy in the photo? Tattoos and glasses?? I love guys who are rocking this style, it drives me crazy! Hit me up if you are one of them 😉

    Apparently her style is “albinos in snowstorms,” because there was no actual picture.

    Busy med student seeking something casual – m4w

    Hello!

    I am a 24 year old busy med student. I’m white, clean, fit, and hung:)

    I am looking for a laid back girl for a casual no strings relationship.

    I am in a relationship if my own, but I miss the excitement of meeting new people. If anything happens, it needs to be on the down low.

    I am very normal and I am not going to stalk or murder you lol. I don’t have time for that.

    If you are interested in chatting message back. Put your eye color in The subject line:)

    I promise you will not regret it!

    What’s terrifying is that if this guy were just a little less busy, he’d have time to stalk or murder you.

    Thanks for the posts, Craigslist!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1726: I’m pink, therefore I’m Spam.

    Good evening, and welcome to “Ask Mister Philosophy Person.” Today’s question on “Ask Mister Philosophy Person” is “What is the nature of the self?”

    The nature of the self has been debated for as long as there have been philosophical debates, which has to have been since at least, what, last Tuesday? Something like that. Descartes famously said “Cogito, Ergo Sum” which literally translated means, “How much for this box of toaster waffles?” Later, David Hume opined that the self is merely a bundle of perceptions linked by causality and similarity. Also duct tape. More recently, William James divided the self into four parts: the material self, the social self, the spiritual self, and pure ego. Not sure why these waffles keep cropping up. Contemporary philosophers of the self generally fall into two camps, the reductive and the non-reductive, but keep fighting over whose turn it is to use the trailer hookup, since the two camps share facilities.

    In short, the self is an illusive topic, about which we may never have definitive…

    SELF – $5



    Little dirty i can clean it.Email if interested.

    Oh. Well, there you go then.

    Thanks for the post, Elizabeth!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1725: I wish that I had chassis girl.

    Trailer chassis


    Giving away a metal trailer chassis that is probably 14 feet long.

    Just need it removed from the property as soon as possible.

    It’s probably fourteen feet long. And I’m pretty sure it’s a trailer chassis. Maybe? It’s back that way somewhere, although it might be off to the left a bit. Actually, now that I think about it, it might also be a hay rake. Or possibly some sort of trebuchet. But I definitely want it gone. Whatever it is.

    Thanks for the post, Ralph!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1724: WARSROBE! What is it good for?

    FREE WORDEOBE MOVING BOXES

    I have 4 LARGE WARSROBE BOXES . Come get them !

    I was going to write some sort of lengthy entertaining snark for this one, but I just keep looking at WORDEOBE and giggling.

    Thanks for the link, Peter!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1723: Eat your heart out, Quintus Teal

    Cozy Room in [location] Available July !st

    Cozy Room in [Location] Heritage House …. Perfect for student room is semi furnish as shown in the ad, but you can bring your own if necessary .
    Wifi and utilities are inclusive $ 500.00 per month plus deposit

    Well gee – I’ve always wanted to live at the haunted mystery spot. Sign me up!

    Thanks for the link, David!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1721: Wow!

    jaguar s type Low mail – $5900




    2001 jaguar s type Low mail odometer: 76000
    I have jaguar s Low mail
    good car
    76.000
    Cline title
    V6 3.0
    RWD
    Luther
    Son roof

    Serious buyer only and cash is preferable. Interest? Please call me @ [number]
    And . [different number]

    Wow. Such car! So title! Very Luther!

    Wow!

    Thanks for the post, sd!