You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 1727: After five it’s a gas

Written by

dan

in

Thanks to our wonderful readers, it’s been quite some time since the Llamanun and I have had to actually LOOK at Craigslist for blog fodder. We still have plenty of good suggestions in the queue, but just for the heck of it, I decided to see what the “Casual Encounters” section had to offer.

The problem with looking on “Casual Encounters” for terrible Craigslist posts is that it’s just too easy. It feels like cheating, almost.

I just want boobs. – m4w

I just want boobs to play with, maybe more if we both agree.
No pressure, just fun.Send picture and your age.
Big or small i like em all.

NO PICTURE NO REPLY.

Put BOOBS in the subject line to weed out spam.

This may be the only person in the world where you put BOOBS in the subject line and he’s less likely to consider it spam.

Need a tattooed man – w4m

Do you look like the guy in the photo? Tattoos and glasses?? I love guys who are rocking this style, it drives me crazy! Hit me up if you are one of them 😉

Apparently her style is “albinos in snowstorms,” because there was no actual picture.

Busy med student seeking something casual – m4w

Hello!

I am a 24 year old busy med student. I’m white, clean, fit, and hung:)

I am looking for a laid back girl for a casual no strings relationship.

I am in a relationship if my own, but I miss the excitement of meeting new people. If anything happens, it needs to be on the down low.

I am very normal and I am not going to stalk or murder you lol. I don’t have time for that.

If you are interested in chatting message back. Put your eye color in The subject line:)

I promise you will not regret it!

What’s terrifying is that if this guy were just a little less busy, he’d have time to stalk or murder you.

Thanks for the posts, Craigslist!

Comments

16 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 1727: After five it’s a gas”

  1. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    1.

    Boob play is made of this,
    Maybe more if we agree.
    I travel Craigslist and the seven seas.
    Every Sparky’s looking for something.

    2.

    I want a man with tattoos, glasses, and clairvoyance.

    3.

    I hope this Sparky gains some maturity between now and when he starts treating patients. Also, I have the feeling that any Sparkinetta who responds most certainly will regret it.

  2. meeshybee Avatar
    meeshybee

    “I’m not going to stalk or murder you” probably means he’s going to stalk and murder you.

    1. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
      MissMommyNiceNice

      This would be so much better if he said “ain’t nobody got time for that!”

  3. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
    MissMommyNiceNice

    I have boobs, tattoos, and glasses. Although I cannot guarantee I won’t stalk and murder you, but I am clean. Well, mostly. Like my body. The house, not so much.

  4. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    Put BOOBS in the subject line

    I tried, but all it did was smear my monitor, and make my girlfriend angry.

  5. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    I am not going to stalk or murder you lol

    This just killed the audience.

    1. Demon Duck of Doom Avatar
      Demon Duck of Doom

      That just means he won’t murder you laughing out loud. He’ll do it with only the merest shadow of a smirk. He’s not insensitive, after all.

  6. C"From Behind.....Suddenly"J Avatar
    C"From Behind…..Suddenly"J

    busy boob, a med student and tattooed man, seeking something casual

    Fixed it for ya, Sparky…because….

    a) I refuse to believe these three people exist separately and;
    b) If they do, I have a freshly dug grave in my yard what needs using and;
    c) Stalking and murdering dipshits and douchebags are hobbies of mine.

    Hugs and Murderous Intentions,
    Xenia Recordia
    Keeper of Figtail Feifings and;
    Matchmaker Extraordinaire

  7. Yancy Avatar
    Yancy

    Med student doesn’t have time to stalk and murder, but does have time for two relationships. I hope never to be this person’s patient.

  8. James Avatar
    James

    I don’t know that last one wanted their eye color in the subject line… Sounds like he has a preference. We’re ready to give the profile…

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      He’s looking for someone with burgundy eyes.

  9. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    I am very normal and I am not going to stalk or murder you lol. I don’t have time for that.

    You don’t have time for stalking?
    You don’t have time for murdering?
    You don’t have time for lol?
    or
    You don’t have time for being normal?

  10. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    I just want boobs to play with

    There are two guys down the street that are always acting like a couple of boobs. Maybe you can go play with them.

  11. Astro Avatar
    Astro

    See, that’s how you know there’s a problem with the public university system, when an innocent, young, hung med student doesn’t even have time for some good, clean, old-fashioned stalking and murdering.

  12. Ralph Avatar
    Ralph

    These are ads by Dr. Victor Frankenstein IV and Dr. Hannibal Lector Jr.

    Parts is parts.

  13. Termagant Avatar
    Termagant

    And extra points for the Oingo Boingo reference.

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