You Suck at Craigslist

Category: barter

  • YSaC, Vol. LXXIX

    mcdonalds monopoly!! need # 273 Park Place!!! SPLIT w/ me!! – $1

    i got #274 its called BOARDWALK with a dark blue strip on top. i’ll split with someone that has park place #273. get to me asap!! we can meet up right bow if you want!! its 1:21am. if not meet me at my work that i plan on quitting once we meet hahaaaaa!! thanks!!

    Hmmm, if only I knew where to find the Park Place piece …

    I HAVE PARK PLACE MONOPOLY PEICE I NEED BOARDWALK LETS SPLIT MILLION – $500000

    Hello I have got the park place piece for Mcdonalds monopoly and I need the boardwalk piece. If you have the piece I will pay 500000 thousand in cash if you really have it. Please I dont have time for scams as I am a busy man but if you have boardwalk for mcdonalds monopoly email me asap and you just got yourself 500000k in cash. I hope you have it and best of luck. Contact me if you do.

    These two people are in the same city. If you do a search for “Monopoly”, they both come up in the listings. I could be nice, but I won’t. (Besides, if you do a search for “Monopoly” in this particular city, there’s about ten other people who each claim to have Park Place or Boardwalk. I’ll let them all sort it out amongst themselves.)

  • YSaC, Vol. LXXVII

    Trade large Mongoose Alta for Sour Candy – $20

    Large chromoly frame. Fits 5’9″ comfortably with the seat all the way down. Has quick fire trigger shifters and shimano components. Well used. Could use a nice thorough lubing or tune up. Seat is a little rough, paint is decent, tires are good but are a deep, fat, rubbery offroad tread so it squeaks like new shoes on the sidwalk, but everything works and it can be ridden away immediately.

    Prefer soft sour candy (no generic sour candy, please). Prefer Sour Patch Kids, Trolli Sour Gummi Brite Crawlers, Sour Gummi Life Savers. No hard candy.

    Will also trade for good soda (pure Cane Jones, good ginger ale) or Skyy.

    Trade a bicycle for sour candy? Exactly how much candy does this guy want? And how much sour candy can one person eat? I think we’ve got a sugar addiction on our hands here … do we really want to enable him?

    In good news, if you do decide to trade this guy 40 pounds of gummi bears for a bike, I know where you can get some lube for free.

  • YSaC, Vol. LIX

    Sander for trade – Butthead

    im looking to trade my sander for a bicycle or some roller skates

    call me up
    Butthead 3000 i stole the sander from the dude in the circle

    In case you can’t read it, the caption on the picture says, “I stole this sander from the guy in the circle.”

    Here, take these roller skates. I stole them from the women’s roller derby team. I also gave them your phone number and told them you stole them.

  • YSaC, Vol. LIV

    Also sent in by SJ, who appears to have been trolling the “Barter” section recently:

    Legal Help By A Laywer Not A Paralegal For Barter

    I Will Barter My Legal Help For:
    Car Repairs On A Cadillac Deville, Lincoln
    Painting A 3,000 Sq. Foot House
    A Good Running Car
    New Roof On House
    PS3
    X-Box
    WII
    Or Any Other Barter On This Order

    Apparently Laywers Not A Paralegal Must Type With Capital Letters At The Beginning Of Every Word. Also Apparently Laywers Not A Paralegal Have No Idea How Much Things Cost.

    Here’s A Hint, Mr. Laywer Not A Paralegal: My New Roof Cost $4500. An X-Box Costs Under $500. Those Are Not On The Same Order.

    Oh, by the way: it’s spelled lawyer. Unless you spent three years in Lay School. Wouldn’t you love to see this guy’s briefs? (Oh, shame on you! I was talking about his Laywer Briefs.)

  • YSaC, Vol. LIII

    The syntactic ambiguity of this headline is what pleases me the most:

    Home entertainment system for stripper pole – $300

    I have a 5 pc. in home surround sound entertainment system priced at used value $300.00 . I am looking for a portable stripper pole with base. Base needs to fit through a regular doorway on its side at least.

    This was found in the “barter” section. Because really, if you have a stripper pole, who needs any other type of entertainment?

    Sent in by SJ — thanks!