YSaC, Vol. 262: Today’s lesson — the singulare tantum.

2009 April 6

FREE UNDERWEARS!!!


anyboody want some free underwears? i got 9 mens large breefs. desent shape, no big holes, no skid marks. i didtn wear them hardly much and dont fit no more. my loose is you’re gain!

257

Juliet sends this one in, saying, “I do like the variety of underwear displayed. You have the leg-hugging shorts, lots of basic black (it’s always chic, a man’s version of the little black dress), and the  velour couch-print speedo-style; but my favourite for sure are the beigey-pinky briefs. It doesn’t get any sexier than those. And no skid marks? How awesome is that? Cuz, when I want free underwears, skid marks are a dealbreaker. So are big holes, although I don’t mind a few small ones. One has to have standards when it comes to free underwears. I can’t just take just any free underwears from just anyboody. And best of all, their loose is my gain! How can anyoone pass up such a great offer?”

Yup, that about covers it. Unlike those leopard-print speedos.

Is it really geeky of me to be amused that the phrase singulare tantum has a plural form? Yeah, I thought so.

40 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 April 6

    Doesn’t he know that there’s actually a market out there for worn pants – he could make millions!

    Have just discovered your blog – my boyfriend keeps wondering what the explosive bursts of laughter coming from my direction are all about 😀

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 April 6
      Nathan permalink

      I was going to say the same thing.

      Adores: 0
  2. 2009 April 6
    dogface permalink

    I think this one might be another joke. The bad grammar/spelling and the repeated use of underwears (Really? Underwears?) are making me think this person’s either a complete moron or joking. Sadly, I can believe both. *sigh*

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 April 6

      I dont know, i’m afraid that this man exists and isnt being facetious. Once a man owns leopard speedos, the sky is the limit.

      Adores: 6
      • 2009 April 6
        dogface permalink

        Ah, how sadly true. At least he doesn’t have any gold lame banana hammocks. A man who owns such underwear has unlimited evil power.

        Adores: 2
    • 2009 April 6
      Colleen in MA permalink

      That was my first impression too. Please please tell me it’s a joke.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 10
      Supreme Ruler permalink

      My sister’s ex always got his ‘hairs’ cut, and thought we were nuts for paying so much to have a ‘hair’ cut.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 October 9
      eeyore19 permalink

      There’s a guy who posts just like this on a message board I used to belong to. He refused to say “money”…it was always “moneys”. He was also prone to throwing in random punctuation (especially using lots of question marks).

      One of his posts on YouTube even got mocked on xkcd:
      http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=10378

      Adores: 0
  3. 2009 April 6
    candace permalink

    My only wish is that he had spelled it “anybooty” instead of anyboody. That would make it perfect.

    Adores: 4
  4. 2009 April 7

    Geeks rule this world. Let your light shine, wordsmith.

    Adores: 2
  5. 2009 April 7
    Jackie permalink

    If the underpants gnomes haven’t come to take them yet, I’m pretty sure I don’t want anything to do with them.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 April 7

      Phase 1: collect underpants

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 April 7
        Anonymous permalink

        What’s step 2?

        Well, step 3 is profit!

        Adores: 1
  6. 2009 April 7
    rev permalink

    “My loose is your gain.” Somehow, the fact that he has “loose” does not make these underwears more attractive to me. “Loose” doesn’t qualify as skidmarks, I guess. More like “rohrshach.”

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 January 21
      silvanoir permalink

      I don’t want a part of anyone’s “loose”

      Adores: 3
  7. 2009 August 27

    @cf,
    Nice idea, the South Park quote 🙂 Hadn’t thought of that.

    This ad reminds me of a posting in a Bulgarian dating site. Some guy with a fetish had explicitly denied being contacted in any way with proposals for sex. However, he was willing to pay 80 levs (~$50) for a used g-string. “Worn for at least 5 days w/o washing” it said. I believe there may be an old lady with a fetish for used man’s “breefs”. And this dude is giving them away! What a way to make an old lady happy!

    Adores: 2
  8. 2009 August 31
    Stinkerbell permalink

    The wording on this make me think of the Crocs from ‘Pearls Before Swine’.

    “Hullooooo zeeba neighba! You wants free underwears? I got 9 pair large breefs.” It wouldn’t be any more outlandish than their other failed plots to catch Zebra.

    Adores: 2
  9. 2012 January 21
    kelli permalink

    Underwears? Under theres.

    Adores: 9
    • 2012 January 21
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      I could hide out under there.

      Adores: 9
      • 2012 January 21
        kelli permalink

        I just made you say underwear.

        Adores: 9
    • 2012 January 21
      silvanoir permalink

      therewolf!

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 January 21
        valarie permalink

        At least he’ll have something to wear (were?) when he changes at the next full moon.

        Adores: 4
  10. 2012 January 21

    I’m underwhelmed.

    Adores: 5
  11. 2012 January 21
    valarie permalink

    Whaaaa??? No “Home of the Whopper” boxers? Dang!

    Adores: 3
  12. 2012 January 21
    Llama Derp permalink

    my loose is you’re gain!

    Are you calling me fat?

    Adores: 8
    • 2012 January 21
      kelli permalink

      No, he’s calling you laundry detergent. I am not sure if that is a compliment or an insult.

      Adores: 6
  13. 2012 January 21
    Windrose permalink

    In Australia, speedos are known as budgie smugglers. 8)

    Adores: 6
    • 2012 January 21
      Llama Derp permalink

      [random Monty Python] Don’t you know the way to put your budgie down? You use the “How to put Your Budgie Down” book and hit them with it right between the eyes.[random Monty Python]

      Adores: 5
  14. 2012 January 21
    Llama Derp permalink

    i got 9 mens large breefs.

    There are nine men out there highly disturbed by their underwear being posted on Craigslist. Especially the one with the leopard print. Sparkette told them she loved them all.

    Adores: 9
    • 2012 January 21
      Tankerbell permalink

      If I remember correctly the Tweet that brought down his career, the grey snug-leg shorts used to belong to Congressman Anthony Weiner.

      (And yes, citizens of other realms, that is his real name.)

      Adores: 5
  15. 2012 January 21
    camille permalink

    Semper ubi sub ubis.

    Adores: 5
    • 2012 January 21
      Astro permalink

      [corey]The grammatically correct translation of “Always wear underwear” would be something like Semper interulam gere*. Interestingly, since interula does not, as far as I know, appear to be a singulare tantum, Semper interulas gere* would be just as correct, if a bit silly, as it would indicate that you are wearing multiple pairs of underwear. And while we’re sharing information, gere is the imperative singular of gero, the perfect active subjunctive third person plural of which is gesserit, from which Frank Herbert likely derived the name of the Bene Gesserit order in Dune.[/corey]

      * Or gerite if one is addressing multiple people.

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 January 21
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        Your use of the word “gero” made me think of gyro, which made me hungry. Then I looked at the men’s bloomers. I wasn’t hungry anymore. Then realizing I’m thinking of food and drawers while commenting on Astro’s post made me feel like a pedophile.

        Adores: 4
      • 2012 January 21
        Tankerbell permalink

        Actually, O Funky Simian, that’s better than how Astro’s post made me feel. Which was, kind of like a big glob of stupid. Not unlike this Sparky, actually.

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 January 22

          So, “Bene Gesserit” translates to “Good Underwear”?

          Adores: 2
      • 2012 January 22
        CapnMac permalink

        I would have thought, mothers not having much changed over the ages, that:

        “Mater loqui sic: Semper ornatum interulam inlimis semper”

        would be the quote.

        Adores: 1
  16. 2012 January 21
    LimeLolly permalink

    I ‘must’ remember to tell Captain Underwear about this.*

    *my son stuck a pair of underpants on his head and had a potato chip bag clip pinching the crotch so he could see out the leg part… he’s Captain Underwear.

    Adores: 5
  17. 2012 January 21
    Tankerbell permalink

    i didtn wear them hardly much

    But when he did wear them hardly, he enjoyed it very much.

    *I have no optimism that I remember what EB taught me about how to do html quotes. So when it comes out all fubar-ed, just imagine it’s right.

    ** Hey look! It only took one edit! Now I feel a little better after the intellect beatdown I just took from Astro’s latin underwear tutorial.

    Adores: 3
  18. 2012 January 22
    Windrose permalink

    Dave, Ferret Tribe, Astro, another punch in your card. Where will it end? What is it getting you? Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Fruit of the Loons!

    Adores: 2

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