YSaC, Vol. 275: Canine capitalism

2009 April 18
by drmk

Sheltie/Lab mix puppy

He is a sweet puppy only 10 weeks old and gets alone with other dogs and kids(he loves to play) I’m asking a rehoming fee of $150 OBO He need to go ASPS


Regina (from Things I’ve Learned From Wikipedia) sends this one in with her comments.

“A few thoughts spring to mind:

  1. D’awwww, he’s so liddle!  Who’s a puppy?!  …okay, got that out of my system.
  2. ASPS?  Do they mean that the puppy has to go to a home with poisonous Egyptian snakes?  I’ve only lived in the area for 8 months, maybe it’s a [location] colloquialism?
  3. Look at that photo.  He’s sitting on a car dashboard, and that car is on the highway.  So his current owners have a poor grasp of both acronyms and basic vehicle safety.  Great.

Someone adopt this dog As Soon… Permitting Snuggles?  And Save Puppy Stuff? Allowing Several Powerful Smells?  *sigh* I give up.”

How about And Save it from our Prodigious Stupidity? or As Spot becomes Pavement Splatter? (ew.)

The “rehoming fee or best offer” is what cements the asshat tag for this one. No, really, we’re not selling our dog; we’re just rehoming him for the highest free market value we can receive for him.

25 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 April 18
    Jaye permalink

    Craigslist actually suggests rehoming fees. They’re not trying to sell the dog, but if you offer the pet for free, there’s a chance someone will offer to take the dog and then torture it or kill it. People willing to pay 100+ for animals usually don’t kill them afterwards.

    Adores: 2
  2. 2009 April 18
    drmk permalink

    I understand Craigslist’s rehoming fee policy, … but Craigslist also prohibits selling pets, and “$100 or best offer” smacks more of selling than of someone interested in rehoming.

    Adores: 6
  3. 2009 April 18
    Nathan permalink

    Surprised no one mentioned how he gets alone with other dogs and kids.

    Adores: 0
  4. 2009 April 18
    kristen55 permalink

    I’ve been watching the pet ads on CL for months, because we are actually looking to adopt a dog (and I think we’ve finally found one, and adult dog from a nice family who really needs a home). I see a lot of these dogs who’s pictures are taken in a car, and I am very suspicious of them. They smack of someone who has just picked up a puppy for free and is turning them over for a profit, posting them before they’ve even gotten them home. And from the amount of follow up posts from people saying ‘hey, I just gave them that dog’, I think that’s fairly accurate.

    Adores: 5
  5. 2009 April 18
    woofless permalink

    Nathan: LOL, I tried to type in a comment this morning about the puppy getting “alone” with your kids & pets! But my Net connection is weird & it kicked me off before I could submit it. Not sure I want to know what kind of “play” requires the puppy to “get alone” with my children and other dogs! 🙂

    Adores: 0
  6. 2009 April 19
    Jane permalink

    There’s also no way that the puppy in that picture is a Sheltie/Lab mix.

    Adores: 2
  7. 2009 April 20
    Random Person permalink

    American Society for the Prevention of Stupidity? Have to admit that’s what comes to mind instantly for the ASP part, maybe because my cats came from a SPCA shelter. But really, don’t y’all think we NEED an AS for the P of Stupidity?

    Adores: 2
  8. 2009 May 26
    Arseny permalink

    I prefer to think that, as the person was writing this, poisonous asps were released into the room. In terror, the poster only had time to write ASPS as a cry for help before attempting to flee the room

    Adores: 12
  9. 2012 May 19

    He need to go ASPS

    I don’t care how badly he needs to make it to the meeting of the Arkansas Society of Professional Surveyors; you should have put him in a carrier before getting onto the highway.

    Adores: 6
    • 2012 May 19

      Wouldn’t you have to eat a bunch of snakes before you could “go Asps”?

      They must be like peanuts or corn…

      Adores: 7
  10. 2012 May 19
    One Moving Violation permalink

    “gets alone with other dogs and kids”

    He was going to the Dogwarts School of Pedigree and the other pups alienated him for not being a purebred. And the kids, well, they kept butting in whenever he would try to speak. It’s no wonder he got alone there. He needs to be with other mixes or children. Perhaps he can get a boy that knows how to catch a frisbee.

    “He need to go ASPS”

    That’s the reason why he was sent to Dogwarts to begin with. When he was born he started going kinder GARTERS. Going ASPS is obviously the next step. But he needs to be trained properly. A few years at Dogwarts and he’ll be going BOAS.

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 May 19
      One Moving Violation permalink

      Hairy Trotter would have done well in Slytherin house, but he knew they had something against muttbloods. Grufflebutt was no good because that house was full of goats.(He didn’t want to be the butt of their jokes) Then there’s Brazenpaw, some of the things those students were alledged to have done, he really didn’t want to get involved. So, the Sorting Dish put him in Gryphendog, but that didn’t really solve his problems. He did however make friends with a Saint Bernard/ Sheepdog mix named Halfbred, a toy poodle named Her Minnie, and a Red Racoon Dog named Rover Measley.

      Adores: 4
    • 2012 May 19
      D / DM permalink

      Yep. The only good dog is a pure bread dog, as far as I’m concerned.

      Adores: 3
  11. 2012 May 19
    One Moving Violation permalink

    ” He’s sitting on a car dashboard, and that car is on the highway.”

    The current owner has no yard for the puppy to dash across, so he gets to dash down the highway. Puppy’s not looking where he’s going though, he might wind up with his ASPS dashed against the windshield.

    I’ve seen many truckers with pets that ride on the dash. Not saying it’s safe, but it’s common.
    Even I have had a jumping spider living in the defroster of my truck. He would come out and ride on the dash. Sometimes he would hang from the visor right in front of my face so he could see from my perspective. Either that or he was mooning me, idk. I would have to grab him by the silk and set him back on the dash.

    Adores: 4
  12. 2012 May 19
    Brer Fox permalink

    “He need to go ASPS”

    Well, pull over to the side of the road and let him, unless you want a pig pile of slimy reptile all over your dash. Duh!
    Some people shouldn’t have pets.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 May 19
      D / DM permalink

      Yep. This is why I de-snake my dog once a month. And I can’t overstate the importance of a good heartlizard prevention regimen.

      Adores: 5
  13. 2012 May 19

    Squee! Wookit the widdle puddy doggy! Wookit the cute widdle jowlies! Must. Squeeze. Widdle Puddy Doggy!

    Ahem. Sorry for the outburst. It won’t happen again. Honest.


    Adores: 3
  14. 2012 May 19

    A male goddess, a ghostcat, and a poo-flinging monkey walked into a box.

    It’s gonna be a good day. Ta!

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 May 19
      funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

      Ta ta’s (in honor of my company’s Relay For Life next week).

      In other news…


      Adores: 2
  15. 2012 May 19
    D / DM permalink

    Some kind of cute/little dog
    Got him so we cud take pitchers with a cigarette in his mouth & we did. Didn’t know we was have to feed this thing & it shits everwhar. Can’t have him in new house because landlord will hear him and know someone is living here. He need to go.


    There. Fixed your ad.

    Adores: 4
  16. 2012 May 19

    Go ASPS is IF’s Cleopatra tribute band.

    Adores: 3
  17. 2012 May 20

    Whoa, busy Sunday morning! Okay, Bianchi, ghostie, monkey, Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Aftern0on, Scooby Doodoo!

    Adores: 0

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