YSaC, Vol. 274: Plagiarism FTW.

2009 April 17

This is behind a cut because it’s long. Very long. Remember the last time I said that? Yeah, it’s kind of like that.

another year older today URRRGG!! read on if you dare to laugh!! – 37


i have posted here a few times before just having fun, please read below and tell me what you think ? ohhh and drinks on me loljust your dorky/nerdy/goober next door neighbor washing his truck in the drive way waving at you as you walk down the street…lol ( and thinking…”yummy” ) lol
and the next day in the row ahead of you in church farting and blaming the next guy laughing….

really, i do work hard, yet play hard..own a business that keeps me hoping yet am flexible being the owner…love to meet new people and know no stangers…all walks of life may contact me , im here to meet people, just like you !!!!! so hit me up…

can you answr my riddles ? for brownie points !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q.What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”?
answer :”??

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
anser ??????

Q –What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

Answer?

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok okkokooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………ok

hope you like my below list i cam up with to show you a lil about who i am and also in hopes to make you laugh a lil bit…you should be open minded

1. I dislike people who drive slow in the fast lane
” stopr texting and drive !!! “”"

2. Making out is fun but getting to second base is even better ;)
what the heck does it take to get to 3rd base ?

3. I prefer blockbuster over movies .. i have hot tub and tv on patio

4. I have never been convicted of a crime ( is masterbation a crime ? ) hummmm if so, im getting life with our parol

5. I have never had a 3some( well once in a dream i did )

6. I always put the cap back on the toothpaste

7. I understand doing little things is what matters most …sooo true

8. I took four years of French in high school and yet I still can’t speak it.
and wished i would have taken spanish instead being i am a contractor…go figure

9. I am half pirate and half Comanche Indian (really just Irish boy )

10. I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be alright.

11. I love the snow ….cool peeing in it too

12. I know San Diego is not Spanish for whale’s vagina

13. I have been swimming nude…okokok when i was younger..now only in the hot tub

14. I believe there is an appropriate quote for every occasion.

15. I am jealous of Mclovin ..he is my hero

I think i will call myself Mcslappin or Mclicken

16. I’ll wait for you even if you’re late

17. I love bologna ..even fried…yuk

i know that it is impossible to lick your own elbow !!

18. I’m 35 years old. Not old, but old enough

19. I think Richard Pryor is the funniest man ever ..ok bysides myself at myself

20. I know CPR

21.I won’t make you wear lame sweaters when we go to family functions

22. I love the rain (especially making out in the rain)

23. I am a dork & a goober

24. I always made my own lunch for school. As a result, I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich almost every day from elementary through junior high. now i bbq 4 nights a week

25. I know that LMFAO means Laughing My ****ing Ass Off. but still dont know what tgif means

26. I love talking about relationships and human interaction.

I am the best I have ever “had” ( practice makes perfect) lol

27. I am a people watcher …its so funny at times

28. I don’t text message while driving ( to much )exspecially in the fast lane

29. Chicken Cesar Salad is one of my favorite foods… probably more so than steak. ummmmm ok not true

30. I try to never ever ever to say never.

31. My breakfast’s in the morning will change your life

32. I dislike being asked to provide the name of my favorite song, film, book, etc – because I find these things change moment to moment.

33. I hate the idea of being caged in – in actuality or metaphorically.

34. I’m great with numbers but horrible with names. terrible speller

35. I’ll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching TV
and maybe even a nice foot massage

36. I still believe a man’s word should be his bond.

37. I don’t ****ing swear

38. I’ve never been Punk’d but have been visually seduced in a bar

39. On our 4 month anniversary I will surprise you by wearing nothing but a smile and a cowboy hat …and maybe some boots

40. I come with an extended warranty …but not with battiers

41. I would like to resurrect words and slang from the past and reinstate them in the modern vocabulary.

42. I can become bored with a job very easily

43. I am not the political type

44. I don’t tear the tags off my mattresses til I get home

45. I always stop to pet dogs outside of grocery stores

46. I’m likely to have a different pair of socks every time you see me

47. Bon Jovi rocks but so does george straight

48. I Walk the Line but some times fall off

49. I’ve never read Playboy for the articles .hmmmmmmm

50. I prefer the toilet paper to roll off the top

51. I’ve never been in one of Tommy Lee’s movies but whatched some close to it!

52. I find excessive use of exclamation marks annoying.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

53. I drive a 2006 Ford

54. I prefer to be continually challenged

55. It is difficult for other people to embarrass me.

56. I think people who say “and this is where the magic happens” when showing off their bedrooms lack a great deal of imagination.

57. I know that handcuffs aren’t just for the cops

58. I recycle ..except beer

59. I know all 17 different ways to tie a shoelace

60. I don’t do drugs

my favorite fantasy is ALL OF THEM

61. I am a aries baby

62. I’m a wealth of useless knowledge, but it’s not even the kind of useless knowledge that is useful in Trivial Pursuit.

63. I can give a mean back rub ..was a texas lic. massage therapist for 4 years

64. I think O.J. is still out looking for the killer

65. I think Tom Brady is better than Joe Montana

66. I can’t stand soap operas

67. I am a chronic text messager (except while driving) ..in the fast lane

68. I say wash not warsh

69. I say “pop”…not coke or soda yest i am a true txas cowboy

I sometimes think to myself, “self” what if………

70. My favorite color is blue

71. I don’t chew tobacco

72. I take a shower every day

73. I like it when rub my bald head!…yeap the “other one(s)”

74. I am the worst pool player ever but better than you

75. I am training for a marathon card game

76. I don’t like going to the doctor. It’s not a fear or anything, I just don’t see the point unless it’s REALLY serious.

77. I haven’t asked my parents for money since I was 16-years old.

78. I am a mommas boy

79. I don’t care what music we listen to in the car

80. I’ve never eaten a bon-bon in my life

81. When you wash the dishes it turns me on …mmmmmmmm

82. I’ll take out the garbage

83. I’m a smart-ass,

84. I’ve never fallen asleep in class.

85. I won’t ever forget your birthday, if you remind me when mine is coming

86. I think most ladies after reading my post will go and try and lick thier own elbow

if you can do it!!!!!!! i definatly want drinks with you !!! lol

hope you injoyed ! have a great week and yes, today really is my b-day

Yep, it’s his birthday, where he’s 37 according to the title and 35 according to item #18.

But that’s not the half of it. This just gets weirder and weirder the more I look at it, and I’ve rewritten this entry at least three times since adding it to the queue.

See, for my day job, I’m an academic. I deal with plagiarism on a daily basis. Here’s a pro tip, folks: if you’re going to plagiarize, make sure that there isn’t a noticeable difference in tone/grammar/spelling from the writing that is definitely your own. For example, the phrase “I would like to resurrect words and slang from the past and reinstate them in the modern vocabulary” doesn’t sound like something a guy like this (let’s call him Sparky) would say, right?

Search for that phrase, and you come up with this website — which also contains some of the other entries on Sparky’s list (numbers 14, 30, 32, 33, 36, 41, 42, 54, 55, and 56). [In the process of poking around that website, I realized that the person who originally wrote that list passed away in December 2006 and her friends and family are maintaining the website in memoriam. I emailed them for permission to post this and link to the site, which they graciously granted.]

I kept looking, though, because while that explained some of the anomalous entries in the list, it didn’t explain all of them. (I mentioned that I’m an academic, right? I’m all about completeness.) More searching revealed that five of the entries on Sparky’s list (#8, 24, 26, 50, and 52) are on this website.

Now here’s where things get strange. I also found Sparky’s ENTIRE LIST on a MySpace account. I’m not linking to it (because honestly, the guy whose MySpace account it is could kick my ass from here to Thursday), but it is NOT Sparky’s MySpace page (unless Sparky suddenly became 23 years old, lives in a completely different part of the country, and has started shaving his head bald — which, by the way, explains the “I like it when you rub my bald head” entry in the list).

So the intrigue continues: what was remarkable about this MySpace dude’s list (entitled “Why I F***ing Rock”) is that it contains ALL of the bits that I found plagiarized from the other websites as well, and more! This implies that the logical chain of events is that MySpace dude plagiarized parts of HIS list from (at least) the two websites I’ve linked to above … and then our Craigslist Sparky copied MySpace dude’s list directly (adding his wonderful editorial comments and asides).

So Sparky appears to have plagiarized his list … from a plagiarized list. It’s so meta.

The moral of the story is: There’s nothing that impresses me more about potential suitors than their ability to cut and paste their deepest, most meaningful feelings from someone else’s website.


53 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 April 17

    I thought for sure it was a mid-life crisis.

    Adores: 2
  2. 2009 April 17
    Daniel permalink

    Is it just me, or does entry number 4 imply that Sparky (or whoever wrote this) has been comvicted of masturbation?

    Adores: 3
  3. 2009 April 17

    I’m happy to report that I am not most ladies, and I did not attempt to lick my elbow. Additionally, I am grateful that there is not a single fish-patterned shirt anywhere in my closet.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 April 17
      jackie31337 permalink

      I have to admit that I did try, purely out of defiance after the post asserting that it’s impossible. I couldn’t do it.

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 April 17
        anon permalink

        my friend can do it, very funny.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 27
          Dete permalink

          My sister can do it too. Internet high-five!

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 August 29
        Amanda permalink

        I had to try, simply because he asserted it could not be done. Does it count if your tongue makes contact precisely one-half inch away from the tip of the elbow?

        Adores: 1
  4. 2009 April 17
    Carlos permalink

    Amazing! Simply amazing!

    I’m amazed you had to patience to make it all the way through that list. I got to #3 and just skipped down to your commentary.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 April 17
      drmk permalink

      That’s probably the smart thing to do, actually. I’m stubborn, though.

      Adores: 3
  5. 2009 April 17

    How many penises does this guy have? Here’s why I ask that: “I like it when rub my bald head!…yeap the “other one(s)”” The use of a parenthetical ‘s’, “(s)”, is not possessive, it means “one or more”. Not that I’m a voyeur of such things, but maybe he should post a picture of his hydra. And as an aside, what noun should he have used in the middle of “when rub”? I have some suggestions: you, I, pants, dogs, policewomen, the FedEx guys, steel pads, passing motorists, high voltage cables, eagle talons…

    Adores: 12
    • 2009 April 17
      Olson permalink

      Oh. my. gosh.
      Too funny!!!

      Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 1
      Yutolia permalink

      I vote for passing motorists, what with all the references to texting in the fast lane.

      Adores: 0
  6. 2009 April 17
    Breane permalink

    I got stuck on the part that implies there are 17 different ways to tie shoes. I feel like a total moron for only knowing two. Am I supposed to be tying my shoes using sailing knots?

    Adores: 4
    • 2009 April 17
      lareigna permalink

      Even if you did know 17 ways to tie your shoes…why would that be useful? I get the whole variety=spice of life thing, but there must be better ways to change it up in the mornings.

      Adores: 2
    • 2009 April 18
      Dawne permalink

      Here you go: http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/index.htm

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 April 18
        jackie31337 permalink

        Wow, I feel profoundly inadequate for only knowing two of those knots.

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 April 20
        dogface permalink

        Wow, I wonder how dedicated you have to be to run an entire site about shoelaces.

        Adores: 3
  7. 2009 April 17
    Laura permalink

    In my foray into internet dating, I actually was contacted by a man who sounds EXACTLY LIKE THIS. He gave me the heebie jeebies, and we never met up. One night, he actually e-mailed a picture of himself to me while he was getting ready for bed… in Mickey Mouse jammies. So… manly. I ran the other way! Fast!

    Adores: 2
  8. 2009 April 17
    lareigna permalink

    “ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok okkokooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………ok”

    …what the hell?!

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 1
      Yutolia permalink

      Something about particular line that made me think that this post was really written by a 12-year-old, and maybe the kid sent in pictures of this dad or something.

      Adores: 0
  9. 2009 April 17
    Vanessa permalink

    So I really tried to read all of this but I crapped out somewhere in the 50′s-as I suspect most everyone else did. I was kind of confused about him trying to bring back no longer extant words when he mangles simple English like “ok bysides myself at myself.” Does he mean Richard Pryor is the funniest guy besides himself or two of him equals one Richard Pryor? So, the plagiarism does explain a lot although it doesn’t really explain why he felt the need to plagiarize someone else’s thoughts for an ad about himself.

    Also, random list aside I do think he’s kinda cute in the picture. Is that bad? Also, does the plagiarism mean we can’t hot tub now?

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 April 17
      Daniel permalink

      I think the “bysides myself at myself” thing was supposed to mean that he (Sparky) finds himself funnier (i.e., laughts at himself more) than he finds Richard Pryor.

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 April 17

      It’s pretty likely these people plagiarize others’ lists because they simply cannot sit down and come up with 100 interesting things about themselves.

      I suppose they can mark it up to modesty; but it is more likely that they are just boring and unimaginative; so they have to steal someone else’s fire (and in this case, taint them with their low-brow addages).

      I was reading that site belonging to ‘Sarcasmo’. It’s really quite witty and engaging. Sort of sad isn’t it… that she passed away? :(

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 October 2
        shaun permalink

        Definately sad. I had to stop reading because I kept thinking how cool it sounded and how it’d be nice to meet her but then remember that’s impossible:(

        Adores: 0
  10. 2009 April 17
    madkathy permalink

    For some reason, I love the long ones the best, (165, 221, 234, 257) Just more opportunity to laugh, I suppose. Could you start a tag for this? “Too much information!”

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 April 18
      jackie31337 permalink

      Or just TMI. I second the nomination!

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 April 18
        drmk permalink

        Thirded, and done! TMI it is.

        Adores: 2
  11. 2009 April 17

    I couldn’t resist. I had to Google: 17 Different Ways To Tie Shoelaces http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/knots.htm

    Adores: 0
  12. 2009 April 17
    Jaye permalink

    I actually can lick my elbows. Just throwing that out there.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 April 17
      drmk permalink

      Drinks are on him, then!

      Adores: 2
  13. 2009 April 17
    kati permalink

    I SWEAR I dated that guy before. Or he’s a cousin. I can’t remember which.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 April 17
      anon permalink

      this comment just screams hillbilly (lots of cousins, lots of incest)

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 April 18
        kati permalink

        Well it IS so hard to keep track these days. ;-)

        Adores: 2
  14. 2009 April 17
    Vanessa permalink

    This Vanessa couldn’t make it all the way through, either. His birthday “URRRGG!!” scares me. I’m not laughing at his age – There are plenty of other things in his post for me to laugh at.

    Adores: 0
  15. 2009 April 17
    Linnee permalink

    “know no stangers”
    Of course not. Once you know them, they’re no longer stRangers. Duh.

    Unless, pf course, he really did mean stangers. I don’t know any of them either.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 April 18
      Belinda permalink

      “pf stuff?”
      Were you being funny? Or just inadvertantly ironic?

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 April 18
        Belinda permalink

        Dhu. I meant “inadvertently.”

        [I also meant "Dhu." I'm intentionalyy ironic. ;-) ]

        Adores: 0
  16. 2009 April 18
    Kelly permalink

    I admit that a.) I can’t lick my elbows (I tried) and b.) I read all that and want those minutes back, dammit.

    Adores: 1
  17. 2009 April 18

    why do people not spell check their stuff? he would still look like an idiot, but at least we couldn’t pick on him for spelling.

    Adores: 0
  18. 2009 April 18
    Tonya permalink

    Are those FISH on his shirt? Why on Earth would a grown man wear a shirt with fish on them? And where did he find jeans that high-waisted? Talk about your fixer-uppers.

    Adores: 0
  19. 2009 April 18
    Nick permalink

    How many times does he have to reference sending text messages while driving? #1, #28 & #67

    Adores: 1
  20. 2009 April 18
    El Kev permalink

    I’m proud of him for making it to 2nd base.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 October 2
      shaun permalink

      I was a little worried about him questioning how to get to third base… we may have someone attempting to best Steve Carell(40 year old virgin reference)

      Adores: 0
  21. 2009 April 19
    Rebecca_J permalink

    I feel kind of dirty. While reading this, I actually did try to lick my own elbow. It didn’t work out.

    Adores: 0
  22. 2009 April 20
    Claw permalink

    To quote my favorite movie, “Singles”:

    “Desperation makes the world’s worst cologne.”

    This d*bag needs to give up

    Adores: 1
  23. 2009 April 22

    I’m the author of the second 5 entries he kifed. Thanks for the laugh.

    Adores: 2
  24. 2009 April 22
    Jill permalink

    I am a little disappointed. He said I would laugh if I read on and I didn’t, at least not until I got to your commentary. His post made me want to push that tv into the hot tub;)

    Adores: 1
  25. 2009 August 17
    Hiyame permalink

    I actually did read the whole thing, though I’m not sure why. I guess, like the owner of this blog, I am just stubborn. Though, I have to say… I read Sarcasmo’s blog… and that list is exactly like me. It was starting to freak me out.

    Adores: 0
  26. 2009 September 21
    Mesila permalink

    I wonder if some of these people who proudly proclaim that they “don’t do drugs” ever realise that this isn’t necessarily a thing that every single reader will necessarily view as giving automatic plus-points.

    Adores: 0
  27. 2009 September 24
    Bonnie permalink

    I’m curious about the lack of numbering between 17 & 18, 26 & 27, 60 & 61, and 69 & 70. Was the “bullet” option on his document not working correctly?

    First time on your blog, first time comment. I’ve been laughing hysterically (under my breath) at work for a couple of hours now. Good times!

    Adores: 1
  28. 2010 August 13
    Sashira permalink

    I like riddles, so after some guessing I looked up the answers to these.

    Q.What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”?
    About three inches.

    Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Because women do not have eyes on their boobs. (I knew that one.)

    Q –What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
    Niagara Falls (which erodes about 2 1/2 feet every year.)

    NONE of these are riddles, you jackass. They’re two lame jokes and a trivia question. And who abbreviates “Question” differently three times in a row? Thank you for stealing a few more minutes of my life.

    Adores: 0
  29. 2010 October 23
    eeyore19 permalink

    Yet another long, rambling list from someone with Asperger’s. And the fact that it was plagiarized makes it even more Aspie (copying ideas from other people is a trait of some Aspies…some more so than others).

    Adores: 0
  30. 2010 November 16
    Jen permalink

    Now I wish I could lick my elbow =(

    Adores: 0

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