YSaC, Vol. 323: I’d ask them if Jesus rode a dinosaur.

2009 June 5
by drmk

An Unabridged Interview With Jesus

I’m conducting an interview for a book with a person who remembers the life of Jesus. If you were to take part in the interview, what would your question or questions be?

Now’s your chance, folks — if you were to interview someone who remembers the life of Jesus, what would you ask them?

[Thanks for the submission, Catherine!]

19 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 June 5
    Manda permalink

    I’d totally want to know how old the interviewee is! I’d also want to know what he/she did to stay alive so long! He/She could know the secret to curing all our modern day health problems! SWEET!

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 June 6
      Sarah permalink

      Haven’t you read the Bible? People used to live for a friggin’ long time before they started makin’ sins an’ stuff. This person must be extra devout.

      Adores: 8
  2. 2009 June 5
    madkathy permalink

    My questions: Which part am I to be take? The part of the interviewee? If so, then why would the interviewee be asking questions? The interviewer? If so, then why are you asking me to write your book? Or are you interviewing the book? Or are you and the person who remembers Jesus co-interviewers?

    In which case, he/she would have way better questions than you, so you should just give up now.

    Adores: 0
  3. 2009 June 5

    I’m with Manda. My first thought was “ooooh,I really want to meet this 2000 year old person!” I would have all sorts of questions. However, I don’t think that the author of the ad would like me as only a very small percentage of those questions would have to do with Jesus.

    Adores: 0
  4. 2009 June 5
    Colleen in MA permalink

    “Jesus, tell me, what’s up with all those crazy people on CL?”

    Adores: 1
  5. 2009 June 5
    Tony Paul permalink

    I’d ask him what his real name was.

    Adores: 0
  6. 2009 June 5
    Nellie Bly permalink

    Ignoring the post and the ridiculousness altogether, I think it would be really fun to ask Jesus.
    I’d like to believe i’d be able to ask the tough questions.
    I wonder if Jesus would get angry over any questions.
    Whats wrong Jesus? Dont like the idea of being judged?
    Checkmate. Me.

    Adores: 1
  7. 2009 June 5
    corn flakes permalink

    Maybe they meant Jesus Padilla.

    Bonus: website fun http://www.jesusdressup.com

    Adores: 0
  8. 2009 June 5

    “Can I have some of what you’re smoking?”

    Adores: 0
  9. 2009 June 5

    “Hey, Jesus… I don’t want to hash your mellow here, but there’s a question that a lot of people have been asking in regards to your teachings… how come you never denounced slavery? I mean, that whole thing was a huge deal, and a word from the J-man would have been helpful.”

    Adores: 6
  10. 2009 June 5
    woofless permalink

    “Jesus, there’s one big question that everybody seems to be asking. It’s on T-shirts, bracelets, hats, even bumper stickers. Now’s my chance to get a definitive answer, to shut up all of humanity. So, would you mind telling me exactly…..what *would* Jesus do?”

    Adores: 7
    • 2009 June 5
      jackie31337 permalink

      Aw, I came here to say that, but you beat me to it!

      Adores: 0
  11. 2009 June 5
    Violet permalink

    “Don’t you feel just a wee bit guilty taking advantage of this delusional crackpot who actually believes you remember the life of Jesus? No? Oh, well carry on, then.”

    Adores: 1
  12. 2009 June 7
    Count Blah permalink

    I had a hard time figuring out what the ad was trying to say as well. I think I get it now, though: the writer of the ad actually KNOWS someone who remembers the life of Jesus; the writer wants to interview this person and use the answers in a book, but lacks the wherewithal to come up with decent questions. Therefore, he or she is soliciting questions from Craigslist readers.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 June 13
      Charlene permalink

      I *think* he’s writing a novel set in early Christian times where a reporter is interviewing someone who knew Jesus. He’s trying to figure out what the interviewer should ask.

      If so, not only is the listing badly worded but it’s a dumb idea: what someone living in 2009 would ask Jesus is radically different from what someone in AD 80 would ask him for a thousand different reasons.

      Adores: 1
  13. 2009 June 8
    Noelle permalink

    Is Carl Reiner interviewing Mel Brooks again?

    Adores: 1
  14. 2009 June 13
    Emily permalink

    “Where are my keys?”

    Adores: 4
  15. 2009 June 16
    araispoetry permalink

    My questions to Jesus:

    What is your favourite religion, other than yours?

    Why are you white?

    Adores: 9
    • 2009 August 16
      bitbot permalink

      These are great questions!

      Adores: 0

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