YSaC, Vol. 346: For the love of all that is good and right, please help this man.

2009 June 28

Lost My Teeth

PLEASE HELP I HAVE LOST MY TEETH!!!! Thrusday night I missed placed my teeth, They are whitish with a little tobacco staining and there were three of them. My have left them at southside billiards or at the truck stop in Richmond Hill. I would like to get them back it is hard to eat, anything but soft food. And my tobacco does not like to stay in place. There is a reward they are my good luck chram PLEASE HELP ME FIND THEM!!! Call xxx-xxx-xxxx ask for Jim

I … just …


Thanks to Kati for the submission!

25 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 June 28

    id really like to know why hed be toothless in a pool hall

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 June 28
      SockHead permalink

      That’s what I was wondering. Why did he take them out in the first place?

      I also love that one of his reasons for needing them back is that his tobacco doesn’t stay in place without them. Yummy.

      Adores: 0
  2. 2009 June 28
    Linnee permalink

    What? He has three teeth that rattle around in his mouth? Or are they removable implants? And who in the hell would pick them up and keep them? Ew. Just ew.

    Adores: 0
  3. 2009 June 28
    Clovis Sangrail permalink

    Despite the minor grammatical mistakes peppered throughout the ad, this really is more coherent than I would have expected from a guy who lost his three lucky, tobacco-holding teeth somewhere.

    Adores: 9
    • 2009 June 30
      Lola permalink

      I concur … Aside from the “good luck chram” and some insufficient punctuation, the spelling in this is so much better than a lot of the submissions here.

      Adores: 1
  4. 2009 June 28

    Loving these 3 extra teeth. They make chewing SO much easier!

    Adores: 3
  5. 2009 June 28

    Having lived in Savannah Ga, I can assure you that he’s not the first person in Richmond Hill to lose his teeth in that pool hall

    Adores: 7
  6. 2009 June 28

    The teeth in question would look something like this. One look at the picture tells you why someone would want to remove them from time to time.

    My grandfather wore his partials only when he had to.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 June 28
      Linnee permalink

      And I had to look…

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 June 28

      Once upon a time, I used to make those! For a (meager) living! I knew exactly what the ad was for.

      Adores: 1
  7. 2009 June 28

    Ewww creepypants.

    Adores: 0
  8. 2009 June 28
    Mrphysic permalink

    What sort of good luck charm are false teeth? I mean really? It ranks up there with:
    ‘please help I’ve lost my colostomy bag – my LUCKY colostomy bag – and would like it back immediately. I took it off at the cinema……..’
    Anyone who has false teeth in the first place has had their share of bad luck.

    Adores: 9
    • 2009 June 29
      NicoleT permalink

      Oh that gave me quite the chuckle…thanks!

      Adores: 0
  9. 2009 June 29
    corn flakes permalink

    Maybe he could get something where he claps and his teeth make a beeping sound.
    I know i’ve seen those for car keys.

    Adores: 4
  10. 2009 June 29
    dogface permalink

    This sounds like one of my coworkers… O.O

    Adores: 0
  11. 2009 June 30
    D / DM permalink


    You seem to have forgotten the events of that night, ha-ha! Too much Jagermeister?

    I won those teeth fair and square. You’re not getting them back.

    Adores: 11
  12. 2009 July 3
    Heather permalink

    No doubt that someone else missing three teeth and in dire need of a good luck chram picked those babies right up.

    Adores: 0
  13. 2009 July 28
    Jinx permalink

    This one has me humming “Detachable Penis” by King Missile.

    Also imagining his tobacco running about, because it “doesn’t like to stay in place”. Naughty tobacco!

    Adores: 0
  14. 2010 August 13
    Wendy permalink

    Personally, I wonder if the tobacco didn’t just knock them out to finally give him the hint!

    Adores: 0
  15. 2012 October 21

    You’re better off without them. As a good-luck charm, they weren’t terribly effective.

    Adores: 3
  16. 2012 October 21

    I’d give my eye teeth to help this guy out!

    Adores: 0
  17. 2012 October 21
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Good thing he said they are whitish. That will narrow down the search significantly.

    Adores: 3
  18. 2012 October 21
    Lou Stool permalink

    They’re clearly his good luck charm because he’s so much better at picking up hookers from the truck stop when those bad boys are in there, holding his tuhbakee in place. I mean really,accidently spitting out some tobacco on a woman has got to hurt your chances, hooker or not.

    Adores: 1
  19. 2012 October 22

    Lyle, thanks for bringing some culture to the Snark Lounge and the Box! No rhyme today, I owe you one.

    Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Monday!

    Adores: 0

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