You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: unclear on the concept

  • YSaC, Vol. 1654: Ain’t nothin’ but a guy thang.

    guy thing

    Good one.

    I’m so glad someone has a good guy thing for sale. A good guy thing is hard to find. There’s stiff competition for the biggest ones, and they don’t come around too often.

    Wait, maybe I’m reading this wrong. (In which case, I think I need to take a cold shower.) Maybe it’s a guy THING, not a GUY THING, if you know what I mean. Which I don’t. What kind of THING might a guy want?

    Slightly used fleshlight for sale or trade!

    “Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit” is for sale. I’ve bought it for [amount of foreign currency] 3 months ago but haven’t used it much.
    It’s in great condition! I can trade it with a 500gb or higher capacity external harddisk
    Please only serious guys! Do NOT waste my time!

    *shudder* You know what? Never mind.

    Thanks, Ellen and Maggie!

    DISCLAIMER: If you do not know what a Fleshlight is, do not, under any circumstances, click this link at work.

  • YSaC, Vol. 1646: “Me fail business? That’s unpossible!”

    Happy New Year, everyone! New Years Day is about self-reflection, and carefully considering how you will make yourself a better person in 2014. It’s about making a fresh start, and about being optimistic about the year ahead. It’s about the joy and wonder we can each find in our fellow man. It’s …

    who can tell that what’s my GPA score?

    I do not know my GPA ? who can tell me ? need apply for school

    Oh, never mind. It’s all about the Sparkys, just like every year.

    Happy New Year! Thanks, Buff!

    * To be fair, there is no GPA listed here, and this appears to be a transcript from a British university where they don’t calculate GPAs. But since Sparky here had 100% attendance in his Business program, one might assume that he would (a) know that and (b) be able to conjugate English verbs. Also, if Sparky has completed a Masters degree, and is applying for school, that means … no, it’s just too horrible to think about.

  • YSaC, Vol. 1645: Something’s fishy.

    Porcelain Fish Tank

    Porcelain Fish Tank – bird motif w/base with gold fishes painted inside

    Tank: 11-1/2″H x 14″OD x 11-1/4″ID
    Base: 10-1/2″ OD x 2-1/2″H

    EXCELLENT HOUSE WARMING GIFT

    Fish tank. A porcelain fish tank. Let’s assume that it was the presence of decorative fish that led them to the conclusion that this was a fish tank. Why, then, would you not decide that it was a bird cage? After all, there are birds painted on the outside, so clearly it’s got something to do with bird containment. Although if the birds are on the outside, and the fish are on the inside … oh, I see.

    I mean, sure … you could keep a fish in there, I suppose, if you have a serious vendetta against the fish. The poor thing is just going to think that the goldfish painted on the inside are constantly chasing it.

    True story: years ago, Dan and I were in a large superstore and walked by the wall of fish tanks (um, real ones) to get to the grocery area. We passed a small group of sorority girls (I’m not stereotyping — they were wearing letters), one of whom loudly proclaimed (in the classic sorority girl/Valley Girl/Cordelia voice), “Oh my god, you guys, fish are soo creepy!”, to which the other girls immediately and emphatically agreed.

    So there you have it. This would be the perfect housewarming gift if you (a) don’t like fish and/or (b) don’t like the person you’re giving it to.

  • YSaC, Vol. 1627: Blesmols soul.

    mummified mole rat

    It is scary ready for holloween tex me xxx xxxxxxx

    You know, this IS very scary, especially since that’s probably not actually a mole rat (you know, since they’re indigenous to Africa and Eurasia and not especially good pets), and is more likely their kid’s guinea pig that got trapped in what appears to be a stuffed animal hoarding situation behind it. Based on the look on this poor critter’s face, it wasn’t a pleasant death, either.

    The other scary thing about this is that since Craigslist has started mapping street addresses within ads, we can see that the person who thought it would be okay to sell the dessicated corpse of a former family pet as a prop for Halloween happens to live across the street from a large school. If children go missing, I think the police should start in the pile of stuffed animals in this person’s garage.

    Thanks, Andy!

  • YSaC, Vol. 911: Honey, I nuked the baby.

    Baby/Toddler toys

    We have a 2 year old boy, and have amassed a pile of his toys to give away. Most are in good shape, some need new batteries.

    We are on the westside of [location]. I also have cloth diapers to give away (separate posting)

    203

    Parent #1: Honey, where’s the baby?

    Parent #2: In the other room, playing with his new toy.

    Parent #1: That was a great find. Who knew that Playskool makes toys that teach toddlers about dielectric heating?

    Parent #2: Playskool? I thought it said Kenmore on the door.

    Parent #1: Hmm, must be some knockoff company. Well, I’m sure it will be fine. It is a baby toy, after all. The Craigslist post said so.

    [from other room]: Beep. Beep. Beeeeeep. <<<ZAP>>> … sizzle

    Parent #1: What happened to the lights?

    Parent #2: What’s that burning smell?

    Parent #1: Where’s Fluffy?

    Okay, okay, that’s morbid. I was initially hoping this would be an instance of reflectoporn, but no such luck.

    [edited by drmk: oops, I set this to publish in 2009, so it showed up way back in the archive. D’oh.]

  • YSaC, Vol. 515: Wanna grow up to be a De Acer.

    I’m sure there are great deals to be found in the Computer section of Craigslist. These, however, are not two of them.

    Sony Vaio laptop,windows xp, wireless,dvd/cdrw,office – $275

    fabulous sony vaio laptop, with windows xp, wireless built in, dvd/cdrw, has office programs, antivirus
    works great , battery lasts close to 3 hours too !!!

    344

    Sony Vaio laptop, you say? Does Sony frequently advertise their products with their competitor’s name emblazoned across the screen? That wouldn’t happen to be a random screenshot you yoinked from a website, would it? No, of course not.

    Or how about this:

    HP 2Ghz Tower & Flat Panel System – $150

    2.0 Ghz Pentium 4, 1GB RAM, 80GB Hard Drive, DVD read, CD read-write drives, matching keyboard and mouse, 15″ LCD flat panel monitor, Windows XP Pro.

    344a

    Michael sent this one in, saying, “Ok, I’m all for trying to make your posting look good, but… when the headline says “Flat Panel System” I expect a flat panel monitor. I don’t even see a flat SCREEN there. It’s not an LCD, it’s a CRT, with a curved surface. I’m not sure if I should flag it for false advertising.. but anyone who will see that picture and think “flat panel” deserves it, I suppose.

    Also, that’s not an HP. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not an HP. If it IS, it’s FAR older than a 2ghz model, more like 200mhz model. And for $150? I can go to walmart and buy a laptop with a dual core Athlon and 3gb of RAM, double the hard drive size, and an actual FLAT PANEL (it’s a laptop after all) for $250. Why…

    My head hurts. Remind me to never look for computer parts on Craigslist again :(”

    I’m going to have to trust Michael’s commentary here, since I’m a Mac girl myself. (Dan is a PC, which means we’re a mixed marriage. We’re raising the cat platform-independently. She can make her mind up by herself when she’s ready.)