You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: no accounting for taste

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXVI

    “Stuffed” Raccoon Mantle Piece ? Taxidermy – $175

    Having trouble finding the gift for the person that has everything ? Meet Sparky ! He is a large stuffed Raccoon taxidermy, that has been a part of my family for a few years. He’s large, fluufy and oh so cute !! He loves to just lay around on the mantle or hang out on top of a gun cabinet. Great for that country decor and the man that has everything !!! xxxxxxx@yahoo.com xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Yep, there’s no better gift for the person who has everything than a “fluufy” raccoon named Sparky who, according to the poorly placed quotation marks, may or may not be stuffed.

    Actually, doesn’t Sparky look like he’s reaching down for the guns in the gun rack? He may just be pretending to be stuffed, and patiently moving a fraction of an inch a day until he can get his hands on the guns and ammo. Then Sparky will get his revenge.

    I mean, wouldn’t you, if you were a “stuffed” raccoon named Sparky that someone had a tendency to anthropomorphize?

    (Thanks to the submitter!)

  • YSaC, Vol. CXIII

    VERY UNIQUE Edgy Original Painting – $999

    “Friction” 36×48″ High quality acrylics on deep-edge canvas, suitable for framing but not necessary.

    This large-scale, modern work belongs in your home.

    Email me for a larger image of the piece.

    I’m the artist and I’ll deliver within 75 miles of [location].
    xxx xxx-xxxx

    Okay, I’m not objecting to the quality of the painting itself. I actually kind of like it. The ladies’ fingers are kind of freaking me out — their hands look like E.T. met a skeleton — but that’s okay. At least the hands match the anorexic bodies. But that’s okay too.

    I don’t get the title: Friction. Okay, the woman on the right is holding her purse and she’s upset about something. Maybe she’s upset that her spaghetti strap keeps falling down. Maybe she’s upset that she just dropped her appletini in her lap and now she has to pay for another one. Maybe she’s upset that the parrot that’s just off-picture has more lovely plumage than she does. Maybe she’s upset that her companion has fallen asleep at the bar. But that’s okay too; in fact, it may even enhance the work, since everyone can create their own backstory to the image. That’s actually kind of cool.

    I’m actually objecting to the assertion that this work belongs in my home. You, artist, have no idea what belongs in my home. It wouldn’t go with the French Prudential furniture I’ve been so carefully collecting. Or with my lovely vintage loveseat. And it would really clash with my beautiful and expensive lion and giraffe wall hangings.

    No, dear artist, unless my house is decorated in late-century depressed-and-angry-barfly, I would disagree that this “belongs” in my home.

    You should try this person — they were changing decorating themes. Maybe they’re going for inexplicable bar-based art. They seem like they’re willing to pay too much for things, too, so they won’t even notice your clever pricing that’s hiding the fact that $999 is almost $1000.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXI

    Retro Farrah Fawcett Pillow – $12

    Retro Farrah Fawcett pillow. 1976. Includes signiature. Clean and in great shape. Measures 8 x 14. Will only increasein value.

    There is absolutely nothing you can do to convince me that a Farrah Fawcett pillow from 1976 (a) is worth $12, and (b) will increase in value over time.

    It’s a 32-year old pillow. I don’t even want to think about it. *shudders* I think I need to take a shower now.

  • YSaC, Vol. LXXXIII

    Wanted: Blackhawk vs. Red wings 10/25 <> Have: Art Work – $225

    Will trade 1 piece for 2 Tickets in 100 or 200 Level.

     

     

     

    If I had 2 tickets to this game, I would SO trade them for that picture of a hot dog on the beach, surrounded by swimsuit beauties, circa 1972. It’s the fact that the hot dog is wearing a hat and sunglasses that does it for me.

    What about you? Which picture would you trade for? They’re both clearly worth 2 tickets to an NHL game, so it’s a tough decision.

  • YSaC, Vol. LXV

    UNIQUE SCULPTURED DOLPHIN COFFEE TABLE – $1250

    For a discerning buyer or decorator looking for something a little different. Unique and contemporary sculptured coffee table with base of dolphins (momma, papa & baby) swimming together. Free-form thick glass top simulates ocean surface, with two of the dolphins’ fins appearing to break the waters’ surface and sit on top of the glass. Bought this from an upscale waterfront store in Annapolis, Maryland for several thousand dollars a few years ago as I fell in love with it when I saw it featured in their storefront window. Has been pampered and gently used, but looks fantastic. We’re changing decorating themes, so here’s a chance for you to get an expensive piece for a fraction of what I paid.

    For the discerning buyer who would spend $1250 on something that looks like dolphins freezing to death on a polar ice cap. Seriously, the definition of “discerning” with which I am familiar does not involve spending $1250 for something that, as my submitter said, looks like it belongs in the Museum of Overpriced Nautical Cheese.
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  • YSaC, Vol. LXIV

    1986 Zenith 26″ Color TV Console-Cable ready w/remote 75.00/OBO – $75

    1986 Zenith 26″ console tv w/remote in Great Working Order and is Cable ready. See pics. Has place on back for plug from antenna or cable box: UHF,VHF,CATV ready. Console swivels. Great for family room or for video games & movies for kids or adults alike. Console wood is in Great Shape. No nicks, dents, scratches. Picture clear and color. Comes with Original Registration card.
    Height: 37′ / Length 35″ Any questions, please ask.

    Cash & Carry.
    Any questions please ask.

    My first thought when I saw this was, “Is $75 going to be enough to pay for the DNA test?”
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